Chapter 17

The space between his legs was bulging out.

It had clearly been rubbing against her thigh just moments ago, so she knew perfectly well what it was.

But she was so startled that she hiccupped.

“What’s wrong?”

“I-is that… when it gets bigger……. does it get that big?”

Instead of answering, he only stretched the corner of his mouth upward. Looking at him, she suddenly turned her head away. Just a moment ago he had been frowning as if he was in a bad mood, and now, for some reason, one corner of his mouth looked ready to shoot up to the sky.

“Mine gets a little, a lot bigger. Very, very big.”

A little, a lot. No, how big was very, very big for it to look like it might tear through his pants, she almost asked, but the way he looked at her as if she were a child hurt her pride, so she pushed him away with a pout.

“Hmph. It’s all the same anyway.”

“What?”

“Big is big, isn’t it? It’s not like I’ve never seen one before. Just answer the phone.”

Putting on a pointless front, she covered her chest with one hand and sat up. At the bell that kept ringing, he pressed the call button and answered as though he had no choice.

The air, which had been hot enough to burn just a few minutes ago, cooled down completely. Soyoon rubbed the goosebumps on her arms several times with her hand.

Perhaps noticing the hiccups that would not stop, he headed to the kitchen while talking on the phone.

Soyoon quietly stared at his back. The moment he disappeared into the kitchen, she picked up the clothes and underwear strewn across the floor and put them back on. Her hands kept trembling.

A little later, perhaps after finishing the call, he came back holding a cup and held it out to her.

“Drink.”

“…Thank you.”

Even after drinking water, the thirst would not go away. The dryness kept lingering, as though she had been standing under the blazing sun for hours.

He, who had gone into the room, came back out wearing casual clothes.

“I think I need to go to the office.”

“…Okay.”

“I’ll take you home.”

“I can go by myself.”

Again, he looked at her with cold eyes.

“Didn’t something come up at work?”

“I have more than enough time to take you home first.”

He was absolutely set on taking her home, and not a single strand of his hair was out of place. Looking at him, still exactly the same as usual, Soyoon suddenly found herself thinking that.

I wish this man would be shaken because of me.

I wish he would fall apart because of me.

I wish he would break down.

If he could not be hers, then she wanted to make it so no one else could have him either.

Even now, whenever she thought of that woman, it felt as though her heart was being torn apart. Him, smiling beside that woman, and that woman too, who had looked so natural standing by his side. She hated it so, so much.

No, she wanted to deny her feelings for him.

She could not believe that the love she had cut off six years ago had continued all the way until now. She did not want to believe it.

Why was it always only her who had to be shaken by him.

Why did she have to obsess over and thrill over and feel happy because of one thoughtless thing he did, only to end up tasting hell.

“I’ll call you.”

“…If you’re busy, you don’t have to.”

She had meant it to sound cold when she said it to him after he had driven her all the way home, but he seemed completely unaffected. She glared at him as he even let out a small laugh, then turned her head away.

“You’re cute.”

“……”

“See you tomorrow, little brat.”

He called her little brat with his words, yet his hand rubbed lightly at the back of her neck. She was about to swat it away and protest, but he was faster.

Her lips were taken.

That really was the right way to describe it. Truly, the way he swallowed up her lips left her mind hazy. The kiss was not merely hot, but fierce, and Soyoon had to gasp for breath.

“I’ll call you later.”

Without even answering, she wiped her lips and got out of the car. She shut the door hard enough for it to make a loud sound.

Even while they were kissing, his phone had kept vibrating.

Even though he was busy.

He should just go quickly. Sitting frozen in the unmoving car, she could feel his gaze clinging to the back of her head.

Thinking he might remain there without driving off until she went inside, Soyoon quickened her steps.

Without turning back even once.

***

Do-ha quietly watched her leave without turning back a single time. Even when he finally answered the call because of the phone vibrating over and over, his gaze remained fixed in her direction.

“I’m going. I said I’m going.”

– Hey! Cha Do-ha, didn’t you say earlier that you were coming? Why the hell are you still not here? You’re at home, aren’t you? You haven’t even left yet, so you were lying, right?

“Shut up. I’ll be there in ten minutes. Hang up.”

– Hey! If you’re lying then….

Click.

He hung up.

Once that guy started nagging, ten minutes was the minimum, so there was no reason to listen any longer. It had better not fail to be something urgent. If his friend knew what exactly he had interrupted, he would have to beg with hands and feet together.

After looking at the place where she had disappeared, he started the car.

Feeling stifled, he opened the window. The moment it rolled down, hot air rushed into the car as if to sweep through it. At the dampness, as though a downpour might break out at any moment, Do-ha immediately shut the window again. Irritably, he ran a hand through his hair.

It felt as though the secret scent he had caught from her just moments ago was still lodged deep inside his nose.

Otherwise, there was no explaining why he kept smelling her.

He bit down hard on his teeth as the image came to mind of her lying on the sofa, chest bare, looking at him with innocent eyes.

What was he supposed to do about those innocent, guileless eyes, even while he had her br*ast in his mouth?

Did she look at him with such trusting, innocent eyes even though she knew—or even after knowing—that dozens, hundreds of times a day, he imagined making her cry?

Or perhaps… would she run away?

When she was younger, he had wanted to keep her by his side even if he had to make use of the feelings she had for him, feelings born from not knowing any better. He had always had everything, and had lived not merely without lack, but with more than enough. Perhaps because of that, after becoming an adult, he had instead found life dull. There had not been a single thing he wanted to have.

Except one.

He wanted Lee Soyoon, who had suddenly run away from his life.

Before his eyes flickered the image of that crimson n*pple standing stiff at the center of her pale white br*ast. It had even glistened, wet with saliva.

D*mn it.

It was not as if anything would come out from sucking it. But if someone told him to spend all day doing just that, he felt like he could.

“This is serious. Seriously.”

Muttering to himself, he caught the end of the cigarette between his teeth.

Then the image of Lee Soyoon as a high school girl, in her uniform, being confessed to by a schoolboy beneath a wall, came to mind, and his brow twitched. He bit down so hard that the cigarette filter burst. The bitter taste made his expression darken before he realized it.

Her face, both cheeks red, saying awkwardly that she would think about it, had been truly beautiful.

Back then, he had told himself he was crazy, wondering what he thought he was doing with his younger sister’s friend. Blowing out cigarette smoke, he had forced his feelings into place by telling himself she was just a cute little sister.

Now he knew. The truth was that he had had her in his heart from much earlier than that.

How many kinds of things, all sorts of bad things, had he imagined doing just in his mind? It was something that would absolutely remain secret from her, but today, it felt as though he had taken one step forward from the point where that imagination had always stopped, and so Do-ha rubbed his lips with his fingers instead of reaching for another cigarette.

He tossed down the cigarette with the burst filter as if throwing it away and lifted the corner of his mouth in satisfaction.

Unlike his own heart, bright as blazing sunlight, the humid sky began to let fall raindrops one by one. He almost wished it would pour instead, just so things might cool down even a little.

***