Chapter 7

Thinking about it now, she felt she had really been immature. Reckless. She was ashamed of her past self. Why had her confidence pierced the sky back then?

After that, she avoided him. Then her father’s company collapsed, and she ran away without telling anyone. And then the accident happened.

…On the day she ran away, she had stopped briefly in front of his house. It was because of what Seohyeon had said, that he would soon be going into the military.

If I leave like this, how am I supposed to contact him? They said she even had to throw away her cellphone. No, no. She just wanted to see him one more time. Even from far away.

Maybe he had been drinking with his friends before going to the military. Amid his friends, he was smiling.

And beside him, that woman was still there.

He was smiling happily.

While she felt as though she was dying. While it hurt so, so much.

His face, which she was seeing again after so long, looked so happy that Soyoon had no choice but to turn away without ever showing herself to him. It was the day she realized that, in his life, she was nothing at all.

It had been an unrequited love, so of course it was natural that it would not come true, but why had she thought that he would naturally become her man?

That it had been a childish love.

That was what she thought.

She opened the worn-out blue gate. At the same time, she returned to reality.

From the place that seemed as though it might collapse at any moment because it had no soundproofing, the sound of quiet crying could be heard. What had tormented her mother again today, she wondered.

She only hoped it was something she could solve.

***

Because there had been no contact from him for two days, Soyoon took out her phone and checked the screen. As expected, there was nothing.

He had asked her to buy him a meal, so that was why she was waiting, Soyoon pretended desperately as though it did not matter.

She always went up and down these stone steps, but today her footsteps felt especially heavy. The strength drained from her shoulders. Why had she thought he would contact her?

Imagining nonsense like whether that forceful man might be waiting in front of the convenience store, or whether he might be sitting in a car waiting in front of her house, she arrived home.

She opened the gate that sent chills down her spine every time she heard it.

“……Hello.”

“Why’s a woman wandering around so late? Got yourself a man or something?”

Biting her lip, she glared at the landlord’s son.

“That look in your eyes, I really like it.”

“…We’ll be moving out soon. So, ah!”

He grabbed her by the hair. She tried to back away from the man as he brought his nose to the back of her neck as if trying to smell her, but he followed just as much as she retreated.

“When somebody tries to say things nicely, you should listen! D*mn irritating, you little wench, you just won’t listen to a word, huh? If you listen well to a man, you might at least get something good out of it!”

“Let go of this! Let go! I said let go!”

The landlord’s son had been looking at her strangely for a long time. Maybe because he was afraid of his father, he had only sent dirty looks before. But as soon as the old man landlord moved out, the son had rushed over as if he had been waiting for his chance.

“I’m the type who can’t stand being ignored. So didn’t I tell you to move out quickly, or didn’t I?”

He grabbed her hair so hard that not even a scream could come out. She flailed her hands wildly and must have scratched his arm. Suddenly cursing, he slapped her across the cheek.

“Unnie!”

She heard Hayoon’s voice. She shouted at Hayoon, who looked ready to rush in at any moment.

“Take Mom and get outside!”

“Unnie…… sob.”

“Hurry!”

The landlord’s son reeked of alcohol. She pushed with all the strength she had against the man trying to drag her into the house, and he dropped down onto the floor. While he was still clutching her hair, she bit his wrist with all her strength.

“Agh! You f*cking……!”

She grabbed only her bag and ran out through the gate. She could hear the landlord’s son cursing and shouting something behind her, but he did not follow. On trembling legs, she went down the stone steps.

Her mother was hiding by a utility pole, crying. Holding their mother, Hayoon was crying too.

Tears kept streaming from Soyoon’s eyes as she looked at them.

Why was it that only I, only we, had to live like this in misery? I’ve tried so hard to live properly,

Why! Why am I the only one suffering like this? She cried to the god in the heavens that it was so unbearably unfair. Did he not pity her at all? People said God only gave trials to the extent a person could endure, so was there not some mistake? If He was hearing her, then please take pity on her, please! Please make this hardship stop. She begged.

“W-we should report it to the police.”

At Hayoon’s tearful voice, she came back to herself. Even then, she kept turning around. Afraid that the landlord’s son might come charging out, Soyoon’s breathing was a mess.

The moment she pulled out the phone she had kept in her bag with trembling hands, it vibrated.

Staring at the phone screen, where it said 〈Him〉, she pressed the call button with shaking hands. Before speaking, she took a deep breath to steady her ragged breathing.

“H-hello?”

-…Are you crying?

She had thought she had steadied her breathing, but he noticed immediately. Soyoon quickly raised a hand to cover her mouth, but perhaps because of how hurt she felt, a sob still slipped out.

Soyoon’s shoulders shook violently. She could not say a word and only gripped the phone tightly.

The brief silence was heavy.

She opened her eyes wide because it felt as though tears were about to fall, but in the end tears dropped anyway and wet her cheeks. She raised a hand and roughly wiped them away.

-Lee Soyoon, where are you?

“…At home…”

-Wait there.

She had not realized it while she was running away, but her legs were trembling violently. She could not even remember how she had managed to escape. With the help of her mother and Hayoon, she sat down on the steps.

Now that she thought about it, one of her shoes was gone. She had run without even realizing she was barefoot, so her feet were a mess from being scraped against the stone steps. As time passed, the trembling only grew worse. Sitting where her mother and Hayoon had hidden themselves, she drew up her knees and buried her face in them.

Fortunately, the landlord’s son was quiet.

It was such a secluded neighborhood that even if he had followed her out and done something, no one would have known. She hugged her arms tightly, feeling as though the stench of alcohol was wafting even here.

She had no confidence to look at Hayoon’s and her mother’s tearful faces. She knew she was supposed to protect them, but it was too hard.

When she lifted her face from her knees, her mother and Hayoon were nowhere to be seen, as if they had gone back inside the house. Had things like this happened when she was not home? Realizing that the landlord’s son had gone quiet, and that the two of them had returned to the house because of that, only made her feelings more complicated.

At a loss over what she was supposed to do from here on, she buried her face in her knees again.