Chapter 9

When Soyoon yawned, Miss Park looked at her with worried eyes.

“You come in looking like someone beat the hell out of you, and you know that really doesn’t sit right with me, don’t you?”

“…I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing? The bastard who hit you should be sorry. Ruining such a pretty face.”

Even Soyoon herself had been startled when she looked in the mirror yesterday. Her hair was a complete mess, and there was a bruise on her cheek, along with scratch marks from fingernails. Seeing how awful her face looked, enough to make him show his feelings openly, Soyoon could not even cry.

On top of that, because of her mother following her all the way to the bed and pestering her about what kind of relationship she had with Cha Do-ha, she had barely managed to sleep for even one hour.

Fortunately, the director had to attend a seminar, so work would end early. She thought she would at least close her eyes for two hours before going to her part-time job. While waiting for the bus to go to the hotel, Soyoon lowered her eyes to the pure white sneakers.

That morning, right before she left for work, the sneakers had been delivered through room service. Along with ointment.

She did not need to ask who had sent them.

After all, there had only been one person who had come to her side yesterday while she was walking to the hotel with one shoe missing and supported her.

“Mom! What is all this……!”

The moment she got to the hotel and opened the door, Soyoon was horrified. Clothing was spread all over the floor, and she had no idea where it had all come from. And that was not all—there were too many luxury brand shopping bags to even count.

She felt like she could not breathe. No way, no way.

Her mother, dressed in clothes that looked expensive at a glance, staggered out. In her hand was a glass of alcohol.

“Mom, have you been drinking? And what are all these clothes, and where did the alcohol come from?”

Her mother just kept smiling. At the bright smile that had been so hard to see for years, Soyoon’s eyes shook.

“This? Do-ha sent over a card. He said to buy whatever we needed.”

“…And then?”

“So I went to the department store right nearby and bought things. Why? He told us to buy what we needed, so I did. Oh right, I bought shoes for Hayoon too. Want to see?”

Soyoon squeezed her eyes shut. Please let all of this be a dream. Please!

When she opened her eyes again, dizziness struck her and she staggered. But her mother, drunk, seemed not even to notice that her daughter was reeling.

After losing her father, her mother had become addicted to shopping. She had said that her heart kept feeling empty, and that when she shopped, she did not feel lonely.

Could it be that her shopping addiction had relapsed? Soyoon carefully studied her mother’s face, but her eyes were not clouded like they had been back then. She just looked extremely happy. That was at least a relief, but Soyoon was furious that her mother had used his card without permission.

“Mom! Are you really going to be like this?!”

The living room table was covered with food. She had clearly left 50,000 won and told them not to order room service, but to go outside and eat something instead.

There were easily more than ten dishes, and it made her so angry. Her mother was the kind of person who thought that if she cried, anything could be solved.

Pretending not to see Soyoon’s despairing look, her mother collapsed onto the sofa and rubbed her shoulders, and in just a single day she looked so different.

“It’s been so long since I went shopping that I’m tired now. I kind of want a massage too.”

She wanted to grab hold of her mother and cry, seeing her speak as though it were the most natural thing in the world, just like when her father had still been alive.

Why, why on earth are you acting like this?

“…Where’s the card?”

“Why?! So you can take it away?”

Her mother, who had seemed in such good spirits, suddenly raised her eyes and glared.

“That isn’t ours. Everything that hasn’t been opened in the shopping bags, cancel it all.”

She went into the room her mother had been using and searched through the bag to get the card.

“If you don’t cancel it by tomorrow, I’m really going to get angry! Mom, I won’t see you again.”

At her firm tone, her mother flinched.

“…How am I supposed to cancel all of this? I can’t do that!”

“Then I’ll do it.”

She knew all too well that even if she got angry, it only affected her mother in the moment.

And because her mother also knew that even if she cried, Soyoon would not let it slide, Soyoon did not want to waste any more time.

“Don’t touch the shopping bags.”

She had wanted to close her eyes for even an hour or two.

Her eyes felt dry and gritty.

Because her vision was blurry, she rubbed her eyes. Then, as she got into the elevator, she called him.

-Hello?

“It’s me.”

-Yeah.

“Can I see you for a moment?”

-Come out.

She was about to ask him where she should come out, but stopped. It was because the elevator doors opened and her eyes met his, standing in the hotel lobby.

“Have you eaten?”

Standing alone with him in the hotel lobby, Soyoon’s face turned red even though she had done nothing wrong. It felt as though people kept glancing at them, so without realizing it, she put some distance between them.

“I asked if you’ve eaten. It’s not like you did anything wrong, so why are you so self-conscious?”

“I’m not being self-conscious.”

“Did you eat.”

“No.”

He was right. It was ridiculous for a fully grown adult to be standing in a hotel feeling embarrassed.

“Let’s go eat first.”

They took the elevator she had just ridden down and arrived at the highest floor. He said his name, and a waiter guided them to a room.

“Did you make a reservation?”

“Mm.”

“How did you know I wouldn’t have eaten?”

She had promised to buy him a meal, but she did not even dare imagine being able to pay for a meal at a place like this.

“I had a feeling you hadn’t.”

When she looked out the window, it was already dark. At the convenience store part-time job, she had asked the woman from the previous shift to stay two more hours. If she ate and went straight there, the timing would probably be just right.

His reflection showed in the glass. He was resting his chin on his hand and looking at her.

Suddenly, being in a place with just the two of them became uncomfortable. She had been alone with him in his car too, so why did she feel so uneasy now?

She thought it was probably because of what she needed to tell him.

“Does it taste bad?”

It was an elegant, delicious place, but her mouth felt rough and dry, making it hard to swallow the food. She had been forcing herself to eat as if it tasted good, but he must have noticed.

She chewed the steak he had cut into small pieces for her when he told her to eat, but it would not go down, so she drank some water.

“It’s delicious.”

“Really? Eat a lot.”

On the contrary, he himself was not eating. Under his deep gaze, which felt as though it might read every one of her thoughts, Soyoon felt like she might lose her appetite entirely, and while picking listlessly at the salad, she put down her fork.

“I don’t really have an appetite.”

She said softly, “I’m sorry.” His eyebrows twitched as though dancing. He looked displeased, and Soyoon lowered her eyes. He said nothing.

“Um……”

“Your dessert has arrived.”

Just as she was trying to find the right timing to speak, dessert arrived. She closed the lips she had parted and began eating the dessert. At this point, she felt it might be better just to make herself ill. Under his heated gaze, her body felt as though it might melt away.

“Um……”

It was only after she had finished all of the dessert and the dishes had been cleared away completely that Soyoon finally opened her mouth. He, who had been about to stand up, sat back down in his chair.

“Do you have something to say?”

“…Yes.”

“What is it?”

Soyoon took out his card, which she had kept in her pocket, and placed it on the table.

“What’s this?”

His voice turned cold, and Soyoon quickly pulled back the hand that had been holding the card. The edge of the card stung as if it had cut her, and she clenched her fist.

“…My mother. She used the card.”

“I know. I gave it to her to use.”

“She used… quite a lot.”

Why did this feel so hopeless?