Chapter 3

“Thank you for coming all this way, Felix.”

As soon as the mass ended, Earl Sawyer addressed Felix at once. As if nothing had happened, Felix left Ellen, who had been standing beside him, behind and showed his respects to the Earl.

“It’s nothing, Earl. Of course I had to come.”

“Is Madame Mendel doing well? I’ve been so busy I haven’t been able to pay her a visit. If the Marquis feels disappointed, I’d have nothing to say for myself.”

“She has recovered a great deal thanks to the health foods you sent. Father also told me several times to convey his thanks.”

“If so, then that is a relief. A woman’s body is like glass, unlike a man’s. So one must always be careful, and then careful again.”

“I’ll keep your words in mind.”

Surely it really was the Felix Mendel she knew, but Ellen’s childhood friend put on an affected face and played the charmer in front of her father.

“I noticed earlier that Ellie didn’t look very well. Did something happen?”

“It’s nothing much. She was dressed too lightly, so I scolded her a little, and I suppose it hurt her feelings. I said something I needn’t have.”

Because of that, it was always Ellen who had to watch the atmosphere. Even when she spoke bluntly and talked back to her brother Julien, and even when she accidentally ruined her second brother’s sword, the youngest daughter who was usually only ever doted on became little better than unwanted leftovers whenever Felix was involved.

“It seems the two of you have known each other too casually since childhood, so she has grown too comfortable. I ask that you understand.”

The Earl silently reproached Ellen and encouraged Felix. No matter that he was the son of a Marquis family, it almost seemed excessive. Of course, there was a reason her father treated him especially well.

It was said that the long-standing bond with the Mendel family had proven its true worth after her mother passed away. Ellen herself, being an infant at the time, did not remember it, but her brothers always repeated the same words.

‘We must not disappoint Madame Mendel and the Marquis. We owe those two a great debt.’

Even her youngest older brother, the family’s problem child, turned meek as a lamb in front of Madame Mendel and the Marquis. Thanks to that, Felix Mendel, one of the heirs, received more than enough affection from her brothers from a young age.

To the point that her brother Julien once said he wanted Felix as his younger brother instead of her.

In any case, to Ellen, who had lost her mother the moment she was born, Madame Mendel had willingly filled that place. Not only that, she had even brought her still-young brothers into the mansion and cared for them like family.

It was thanks to the Marquis household’s consideration that her father had been able to overcome the grief of losing his wife and devote himself to building up the family, or so he said. No matter that they were the children of her closest friend, it was not something anyone could do without considerable resolve and sacrifice.

Felix, who was the same age as Ellen, and the eldest son who was three years older than him would already have been enough to keep her busy, yet she had raised four children from another family along with them…… As someone still unmarried, Ellen could hardly even imagine such a thing.

A great deal of time had passed, but Ellen still had not forgotten that gratitude. Even when her childhood friend Felix would sometimes tease her with, ‘We grew up drinking the same formula, so why are you so short?’ she would think of the kindness the Madame had shown her and smile it off in silence.

“I find it rather comfortable and nice, if anything. And I always will.”

Of course you do.

Because you’re always the one making fun of me.

Once her thoughts reached that point, that irritating face looked somehow even more hateful. Whether or not she felt that way, the Earl was still directing endless trust and affection toward Felix.

“Felix, if you do not mind, would you stay for a meal before you go?”

And in the end, he even invited the very source of the trouble to the dining table.

“Of course, Earl. As it happens, I also had something I wanted to discuss with the brothers.”

At those words, Ellen’s three older brothers looked at Felix with proud, triumphant faces, as though they had been waiting for this very day. As if it were originally his place, Felix stood shoulder to shoulder with them, exchanging updates.

“Wouldn’t it be enough to just send him off? Why does he have to eat with us too?”

“It would be nice to dine together and go back together. You could keep each other company on the way.”

At the Earl’s words, Ellen made a dissatisfied face. No matter how old a childhood friend he was, there were some things one simply could not talk about in front of others.

For example, something like news of her own marriage, which even Ellen herself had only learned today.

If they moved somewhere else, the topic was obvious.

The story of her marriage, now not far off.

Those uncomfortable conversations where a predetermined answer would be forced on her, without so much as a right to refuse.

In the midst of those repeated talks, Ellen might end up in tears, protesting the unfairness of it all.

And after that uncomfortable meal ended, she would no doubt have to ride back to the academy in the same carriage as Felix. For more than half a day at that.

Just imagining that she might show such a pathetic side of herself in front of him made irritation rise on its own.

“I’ll sit this one out, so the five of you can enjoy yourselves. I completely forgot I have an appointment early tomorrow morning.”

“Ellie, don’t be like that. Go along and talk about what you’ll do from here on……!”

“It’s uncomfortable. Having someone else listen to people talking about me.”

“Uncomfortable? Are you saying Felix makes you uncomfortable?”

“We may be close, but he isn’t family.”

At Earl Sawyer’s reproving words, Ellen answered in a tired voice. Then, pressing a hand to her throbbing forehead, she continued.

“I’ll come visit soon. We can talk then.”

“Ellie.”

“You have to give me time to sort out my thoughts too. It’s not as though I’m saying I won’t do it.”

“……”

“Then I’ll be going first.”

Faced with this first act of rebellion from his youngest daughter, the Earl looked somewhat flustered. Then, as if in resignation, he ran a hand over the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes and watched Ellen’s retreating back until it disappeared.

After running for quite a while and leaving the church behind, Ellen let out a stifled breath and looked back the way she had come. At that moment, she caught sight of Felix walking out from the church in the distance.

The suit and coat, matched to the same color as his coldly gleaming black eyes beneath his dark navy hair, carried an air of refinement even without a single common ornament. As if to say that from the very beginning he was different from someone like her, whose only talents were burying herself in study like a brute and practicing piano until blisters formed on her fingers.

“What now, what is it this time?”

As if afraid he might somehow notice such thoughts, Ellen spoke curtly and widened the distance between them. But for some reason, he kept walking straight toward her, narrowing the gap by exactly as much as she had created.

“Wh, what is it?”

“Go back inside.”

“What?”

“They’ll feel hurt.”

“I told you, I have an appointment early tomorrow morning.”

At that, Felix bit his lip hard and quietly held down his anger. Whatever it was that dissatisfied him so much, his patience too had gradually been nearing its limit thanks to Ellen, who had been noticeably avoiding him for the past few months.

“Then come with me. I have something to do tomorrow too.”

“I already told you earlier. I politely decline. Absolutely do not follow me, absolutely.”

Ellen waved both hands quickly and bolted toward where the carriage was parked. Her head was already so tangled she could die from it, and if she spent an entire day sealed inside a carriage with that man, there was no telling what would really happen to her mind.

Don’t look back, just go.

Ellen repeated that to herself over and over, moving her short legs in haste. At last, just as her foot stepped onto the carriage step, Felix’s voice stopped her.

“Mother wants to see you.”

“……”

“Even if you’re busy, stop by just once. Even if we’re not family, you can do at least that much, can’t you?”

“Hey, that’s not what I meant……!”

“I’ve said what I had to say. Even if you come to regret it later, don’t turn around and blame me for no reason.”

Had she seen wrong somehow? The eyes of Felix, which she had thought just moments ago were full of sorrow, had already returned to their usual look. Soon his playful voice rang through the air.

“Then get home safely.”

“The way you say that, you look awfully happy that I’m leaving?”

No sooner had she finished speaking than Felix, who had been standing some distance away, strode right up in front of Ellen. Along with the shadow cast over her head, his large hand brushed the area near her neck.

“It’s cold.”

Felix spoke briefly as he straightened the shawl that had slipped down. Was it because the occasional touch of his hand against her shoulder felt ticklish? Clutching the handbag in her hand tightly, Ellen averted her eyes.

“I can do it myself.”

“Who said you couldn’t? I just feel uneasy whenever I see something crooked. It stays on my mind.”

“I said I can handle it myself.”

Despite her curt voice, Ellen stayed still in silence and waited until Felix’s hand came to a stop. Then, when she happened to meet the gaze of Felix, whom she had been secretly glancing at, Ellen quickly turned her head away and pretended not to notice.

“Well, one less mouth to feed means your share is mine too. I’ll enjoy it all by myself.”

Having finished fixing things, Felix immediately withdrew his hand from Ellen and turned away. Then, waving his fingertips lazily, he slowly walked off. He seemed cheerful at the thought alone, and every now and then she could even hear him humming.

“So annoying, seriously.”

Watching him from a distance, Ellen muttered to herself and climbed into the carriage. Then she glanced sideways. Confirming the back of Felix, now reduced to little more than a dot, she placed both hands over her chest.

Hoping her pounding heart would calm down quickly, and so that the heart she had only just managed to close would not open again, Ellen shut her eyes tightly and steadied her breathing.