Chapter 5

“Then what’s the reason? You don’t lack anything.”

“He said it was an old promise. That’s all he said.”

“That’s just an excuse. Doesn’t he just want to marry you off quickly?”

“Marry me off quickly?”

“You said he always talked about wanting to see his children each build their own family and live with children of their own.”

“He did say things like that.”

“Well, your eldest brother is firmly tied down at the Imperial research office, so marriage wouldn’t be easy for him, and you said the same goes for your second brother. As for your third brother……”

“There’s no need to soften it. He’s a delinquent.”

At that, Lillian laughed awkwardly and trailed off. The fact that she did not bother denying it made it easy enough to guess just how far the reputation of ‘Julien Sawyer’ had spread.

“Anyway, if the purpose is simply marriage itself, then couldn’t they just change the person?”

“There aren’t any men around me, Lillian.”

“Sorry…… At the last academy ball, your professor ended up being your partner, didn’t he.”

For a moment, an awkward silence flowed between the two. After quite a long time had passed, Lillian, who had been carefully reading Ellen’s expression while choosing her words, suddenly sprang to her feet as if something had occurred to her.

“There is one, Felix Mendel!”

“Lillian, you shouldn’t do this to someone who’s already having a hard enough time.”

“No, I’m serious, not joking. He’s the only man around you. Sometimes he even looks after you.”

“That’s only because we’ve known each other since we were very little……!”

‘It’s cold.’

At the thought that suddenly came to mind, Ellen stopped speaking and furrowed her brow. Then she glanced once at the shawl hanging on the coat rack and turned her head the other way.

“What is it? Why did you stop in the middle of talking?”

“It’s nothing.”

As if she sensed something odd, Lillian quickly moved along after the turn of Ellen’s head. Because of that, Ellen’s face, already hot enough, turned even redder.

“There’s definitely something.”

“I wish there were.”

“Then make something happen, even now. That’s how these things start in the first place. The newlyweds next door to us were friends since childhood too. But those two are so heated that every weekend when I go home, all those moaning sounds……!”

“Lillian!”

Ellen shouted sharply and covered her burning cheeks with both hands. It was because the cute little elephant of Felix’s that she had accidentally seen in childhood flashed through her mind. By now, it probably…… wasn’t cute anymore, right?

“I-I could never do something like that with him.”

“Why not? Are you a man?”

“That’s not what I mean……”

“Then does he like men?”

“Lillian!”

“If it’s not that either, then what’s the problem? There’s nothing wrong with either of you.”

“It just can’t happen. He and I…… anyway, anyway, it’s impossible.”

“Don’t just say it’s impossible no matter what, think carefully. Is it normal dedication for him to come by every break just to say a word and leave?”

“He only does that because he’s bored!”

“What you apparently don’t know is that Felix Mendel is famous for not exchanging a single word with his classmates. Especially the girls. He says it’s a waste of time or whatever.”

Hearing something she had never once heard before in her life, Ellen pursed her lips and lifted her upper body. Then she looked at Lillian with a startled face.

The Felix Mendel that Ellen knew might look reserved, but he was someone full of mischief and someone who used time like water.

That was why, on a precious weekend, he had come all the way to distant Nivos, saying he was on an errand for Madame Mendel.

“Maybe he felt it was uncomfortable.”

“Then how do you explain this? Classes in diplomacy and public administration are far away from the ensemble room.”

“Even so, it’s only ten minutes.”

“And yet your childhood friend used to come looking for you every single break over that ten-minute distance. As if he were watching whether his wife was cheating on him or not.”

“That’s only because my brothers kept telling him to watch me closely. And it’s not even like that now.”

“Even so, that still seems a bit much……”

Up against Ellen’s airtight defense, Lillian trailed off and tilted her head. Before long, with a somewhat more serious face, she looked at Ellen.

“Then what about you?”

“Hm?”

“Ellen, how do you feel?”

“I don’t know. I just feel kind of empty.”

“No, I mean Felix Mendel. Your childhood friend. Do you really not have any feelings at all?”

“That……”

“If you have even a little bit of feeling for him, then just ask Felix to marry you instead. Maybe that’s what he wants too?”

Contrary to the expectation that she would explode in outrage, Ellen only quietly bit her lip. She too had once imagined that she might end up marrying Felix.

Since puberty, had there been only one or two days when her heart had not pounded while looking at the visibly changed Felix all by herself?

Unlike Ellen, who was small in build, Felix had been different from the frame up. The difference of one head had only widened little by little, and now if she stood behind him, her whole body would be hidden.

‘When we grow up, let’s definitely get married.’

And that was not all. From the very moment he had first begun to speak, Felix had always said the same thing to Ellen. As they got older, he said it less often himself, but even when they entered school side by side with matching front teeth missing, he had still said it.

He definitely had.

But the moment that innocent belief was shattered to pieces came not long after summer vacation had begun last semester.

‘Ellie, since it’s a rare vacation, why don’t you go visit Madame Mendel and at least keep her company for a while.’

Yes, the start of it had been that she visited Madame Mendel carrying homemade cookies and jam, following her father’s suggestion.

‘You’ve come, Miss? As it happens, Young Master Felix is here as well, so that works out nicely.’

‘Felix is? I thought he said he had plans today……’

‘Madam called for him urgently. He’s been inside for quite some time, so he should be coming out soon.’

‘Yes, I’ll wait.’

How long had she waited, seated on the drawing room sofa? From beyond the slightly opened door came a familiar voice. It was faint, but unmistakably the voices of Madame Mendel and Felix.

‘It’s too early to marry the moment I graduate. I need more time.’

‘Lix, I understand your feelings very well. But if this keeps being delayed, one day your resolve may waver.’

‘You know well that that’s not how I feel.’

‘His Majesty is watching. We cannot make him wait forever.’

Just then, it had been inevitable that the Fifth Imperial Princess Daphne, who had shown interest in Felix, came to mind. It seemed Felix had liked the Princess as well, because around that time the two of them had often been together at the academy.

When her thoughts reached that point, the cookies and jam she had brought suddenly felt shabby. Unlike Daphne, who if she wished could offer him all the wealth and honor of the Empire, Ellen’s world was far too small for there even to be any comparison.

‘Butler, please give these to Madame for me. I suddenly remembered I have an important appointment.’

And with that, Ellen left the things she had brought and walked out of the mansion. Only then could she understand the face of the Fifth Imperial Princess, who had looked at her with displeasure over the past few months at the academy.

If it were me, I’d feel bad too if there were a female friend who was especially close to the man who was going to become my husband, and excessively so, simply because they had known each other since childhood.

No, perhaps Daphne had only endured it because she was an Imperial Princess and had to preserve her dignity, when what she really wanted was to tear out all my hair.

Right, I’m the problem for taking childhood joking words seriously.

After that, Ellen kept her distance from Felix and stayed away. Sometimes, in order to avoid him when he came by every break, she even hid in the washroom. Maybe thanks to that effort, the number of times she ran into Felix these days had noticeably decreased.

Even today, the fact that she had seen Felix, whom she used to see every day, for the first time in two weeks said more than enough about how distant the two of them had become.

“He and I are just friends. Not that kind of relationship you’re thinking of.”

“The people involved are always the last to know. It’s the people outside who see things clearly.”

“Felix…… is going to get married soon. To Princess Daphne.”

At those words, Lillian froze in place, not even thinking to close her parted lips. Since Lillian too had often seen her face around the academy, it was, in a way, a natural reaction.

Unable to recover from the shock for quite some time, Lillian only opened her mouth after a long while had passed.

“Then are you really going to marry someone whose name, age, and face you don’t even know? After doing nothing but study yourself to death?”

“Probably.”

“Then how about just running away?”

“I can’t drive a stake through Father’s heart. And my brothers would be disappointed too.”

As if Ellen’s answer left her stifled, Lillian let out a weary breath and pressed a hand to her forehead. Ellen felt just as stifled herself. But for someone who had never once rebelled, even after becoming an adult, a deviation like that was far too huge a mountain.

How much time had passed? The room, already quiet enough, had become filled with heavy silence. The only sounds were the sighs the two of them let out and the ticking of the clock hands.

When the thin second hand of the clock pointed to midnight, Lillian, who had been agonizing for a long time, rose from her seat. Then, with a face full of resolve, she met Ellen’s eyes.

“There’s one way.”

At those words, Ellen’s eyes glimmered faintly. When she quietly waited for the answer, Lillian let out a deep breath and took hold of Ellen’s hands.