55

“You have a talent for performing, I’ll grant you that. But do something about those eyes.”

Klen glanced briefly down at himself and then looked at Lavian.

Only then did she piece together what he meant, and unease stirred through her.

“That’s because you……”

“Are you about to blame me. Avoiding it so desperately and pretending otherwise.”

The thick distrust stopped her cold.

The words circling inside her mouth couldn’t form a complete sentence and get out.

Because you hate it.

He wore a three-piece suit through the height of summer, when even nobles found it unbearable.

He often didn’t undress even in bed.

Lavian had assumed Klen wanted to hide the marks on his body. The memory of their wedding night still hadn’t left her, which made her all the more certain.

She wasn’t the type to go out of her way to do something she knew someone disliked, so she had been doing her best to accommodate him in her own way.

He doesn’t even undress in bed, so of course I thought he didn’t want them seen…… but that’s not it? Then why did he act that way on the wedding night?

Lavian was confused.

But she wasn’t someone who let things like this show.

Oh. Maybe he wants to pretend he doesn’t mind.

How many people could actually come out and say: this is my weakness, my insecurity, please don’t touch it.

Lavian tried to make sense of it in her own way.

And so she lowered her eyes and offered an apology.

“I’m sorry. If that’s how it came across, it was my fault. I’m sorry.”

“Fine. Now get out. You’re a nuisance.”

Klen scowled and dismissed her.

But she stood there as though her feet had been glued to the bathroom floor.

“Are you really going to bring a child in from outside?”

“How many times do I have to say it. Why would I lie?”

“My wanting a child has nothing to do with my father’s wishes. It really doesn’t. Does it still have to be that way?”

Lavian shook her head slightly. She pressed the point that she truly meant it, as though she wanted no more misunderstandings.

She had been putting off what she wanted to say, hoping she might still change his mind.

“Don’t tell me you want to raise a child together and play happy family.”

“……”

The offhand remark left Lavian unable to answer right away.

He didn’t bother hiding his smirk.

She looked back at him with something almost desperate.

“Is that not allowed. Am I not allowed to want that?”

Every word in that carelessly spoken sentence was something Lavian truly wanted.

She knew she wasn’t supposed to want any of it. But she wanted a real family, one without contracts or transactions or this weight of debt, and the feeling surged up before she could hide it or hold it back, and it came out.

“……”

This time it was Klen who went quiet.

She had a face like that too……

Lavian looked unusually serious today, and it felt strange. Strangely unfamiliar.

Silence fell in an instant. Only their breathing tangled together, and an unreadable tension stretched taut between them.

Klen spoke first.

“I didn’t know you were so good at saying funny things. But do you think that’s actually possible. With your child. The one you’d give birth to.”

A single sentence from him pulled Lavian back down into brutal reality.

……Of course not. Not for me.

There was no time to catch the true feeling that had slipped out and scold it. She was thrown into a wretched reality and felt a sharper pain than before.

“If you don’t mean anything by it, stay quiet. I said I’d give you a child. You’re making a fuss when I’m offering to grant your wish.”

Looking at his tired face, Lavian thought:

How did I end up living a life where I have to hear things like this from someone I love.

Lavian had regrets. Deep, deep regrets that she should never have gotten tangled up with him, even if it meant ending up on the street.

But nothing would change by thinking that now. She had been thrown into reality, so she had to face it squarely.

Lavian worked to put her feelings away and tried to stay composed. Even so, she couldn’t quite let go. She made one last attempt.

“I understand what you want. But I didn’t know you were someone who doesn’t keep his own promises either. You promised there would be no children outside the marriage.”

“Me? When?”

“That night.”

“That night……”

Klen searched his memory. He frowned once at the vague reference to that night, and once more at the word promise. But he couldn’t find the answer and looked at Lavian.

His expression said he had no idea what she was talking about, and it felt to Lavian like a finishing blow. Her heart dropped.

“On our wedding night…… you asked if I had anything to ask of you, I made a request, and you gave me a clear answer.”

Lavian took a deep breath and kept her voice steady. The moment she finished, Klen’s expression twisted.

“I don’t remember that.”

“……It was about half a year ago, but it’s not that long. You really don’t remember?”

Klen didn’t like it, but he reached back into the hazy memory of that night anyway.

Having to revisit that night again.

The irritation was there, but he had already gone over it before, so the unpleasant feelings and the details of the conversation came back one by one.

She had looked at my scars like they were filth…… and then she went on about mistresses and did a thorough job of putting me down.

Klen had intended, even with a rough past and a contractual marriage, to keep the minimum decency owed to a spouse.

Not that respect and fidelity were things they owed each other in a relationship like theirs.

But Lavian’s words had carried an underlying assumption that he would naturally commit adultery and infidelity. She had treated him from the start as someone who didn’t even know basic decency.

The more Klen recalled that night, the more a heavy, charged feeling built in him.

Then he remembered the vague, half-hearted promise he had made to smooth things over.

D*mn it, I did make that promise.

Klen cursed inwardly and pushed the thought away.

The memories that had been drifting back scattered like clouds in a strong wind and were gone.

“If it was important, you should have put it in writing. We don’t have anything written down separately, do we.”

Klen looked away from Lavian. He reached into the bathtub to check the water temperature, splashed it lightly, and raised his brows. The meaning was clear: he had no desire to continue this conversation.

But Lavian misread his words.

A promise made to me wasn’t even worth remembering.

Lavian considered whether Klen might not even be trying to recall it, but she decided not to suspect that.

It wouldn’t be fair to him.

Now that it had come to this, bringing up that promise as a last resort felt like she had been the only one clinging to something trivial. Still, one thing had become clear.

I now know very well that I mean nothing to him.

Lavian lowered her head slightly and let out a small, helpless laugh, her cheek trembling faintly. And yet, even so, she couldn’t bring herself to dislike him, which was maddening. She thought: I really have fallen completely.

I was sold here. What was I hoping for. What kind of person makes a promise to an object. An object, and here I am, developing feelings for my owner.

Lavian mocked herself quietly for the feeling quietly rising in her, then pushed the promise she had made with him away. She erased it as though it had never existed.

“You’re right. Nothing was written down. I said something unnecessary. I’m sorry.”

Her voice, weaker than usual, echoed in the bathroom. Then the familiar silence settled between them again.

In the quiet, Lavian’s head cooled. She had been so caught up thinking about what she needed to say to him that she realized she had gotten carried away.

What was I doing today. I’m never like this.

She had just drawn a small breath to apologize to him when Klen turned toward her.

He came toward her, loosening the knot at his waist.

“If you have nothing more to say, get out…… Oh, you came all the way in here to have a child, didn’t you. I wasn’t reading the room. Did you want to do it here tonight?”

“That’s not it. And that’s not proper. If you want, I’ll wait in the bedroom.”

Lavian shook her head.

Klen found it absurd that she was still insisting on propriety at a moment like this. Worrying about that, of all things. He wondered what being a noble even meant.

He gripped her shoulder and let his eyes sharpen, as though telling her to stop the half-measures.

“Does it matter where, when it’s the same thing. If a child is going to happen, it’ll happen anywhere.”

“If that’s the case, then it doesn’t have to be here. And don’t say things like that when you don’t actually want a child. Not from me. Not from us.”

Lavian lifted her chin and met his gaze. To protect the feeling that had risen and bloomed because of him, only to be crushed and extinguished by him again, she buried her true feelings even deeper and put on a show of strength.

The composure Klen found so laughable was everything Lavian was made of. It was the only way she could protect herself without falling apart.

The eyes that had always been soft and yielding, like a creature with its tail tucked in, now held something firm and bright.

“So refined.”

“I’ll wash up in the other bathroom. I’m sorry for barging in. I had something to say and I got carried away. I was the one being improper. Let’s talk about the rest in the bedroom. Let go of me now. That’s enough.”

Lavian gathered her courage when he didn’t release her, pried his hand away with effort, and turned.

But he was not the type to simply let her go with an oh, she turned, oh, she’s leaving.

“What do you mean, enough. You started this. Did I bring up the child first. You did.”

Klen was exasperated. She had come all the way in here and turned everything upside down, and now she was playing the victim with that drained expression, trying to slip out on her own.

He reached out and caught Lavian before she could leave the bathroom, turning her back around.