Chapter 1 –  First Experience Should Be New 

“Hic, gulp.”

Bang! Bang!

Ahaha!

Sweet music and cheerful laughter flowed along with the bursting sound of fireworks, at the back of the dazzling imperial palace banquet hall.

Ailey, ignoring the joyful people and the beautifully sparkling hall, sat in a gloomy corner, blowing into a bottle.

The champagne she snatched from a tray held by a servant just before leaving the hall wasn’t particularly strong alcohol.

But for Ailey, who would get tipsy from even a chocolate with a bit of whiskey in it, it was far too much.

There was nothing left to look back on. Ailey quickly became completely intoxicated.

“Haa…….”

Drip.

The golden liquor slid down her small lips, along her delicate chin and slender neck, pooling gently between her gathered br*asts.

The dress she had painstakingly tailored by saving up her allowance for years soon became nothing but a soggy piece of fabric. The ends of her silvery hair, as if soaked in moonlight, were also drenched and messy with liquor.

She had spent hours curling her hair to create waves, busy since morning, but like with her dress, Ailey lost interest in even that.

‘Who cares.’

Now, none of it mattered. Not anything.

Her pink eyes, swollen from crying, were bloodshot and shone bright red.

Ailey focused only on the cold, prickly sensation of champagne sliding down her throat. She thought if she kept drinking like this, she might forget her misery.

Though her resolve was like that of a heavy drinker, in reality, she could barely manage a sip at a time with her small mouth.

“Ah.”

How long had she been like that?

The bottle she was drinking from without restraint ran dry.

“…….”

Sticking out her red tongue, she blatantly licked the mouth of the bottle, and not satisfied, she dug her tongue inside, finally pulling it out with a pop and tossing the bottle aside carelessly.

But even a drunken mess like her didn’t have the strength of a sickly calf. The bottle fell weakly, merely rolling across the grass instead of shattering into pieces.

That only made Ailey angrier.

If it had crashed and shattered with a loud sound, at least her frustration would have felt relieved.

Once again, sorrowful tears welled up.

“Huk, heung, gulp…….”

If her grandaunt had seen, she would have scolded her for such disgraceful behavior for a Baron’s daughter.

She would have said that acting so shamelessly would make respectable young gentlemen dislike her. That girls who behave like that can’t even get married later.

Ailey, too, would have been frightened by those words and tried to regain the manners suitable for a lady.

But the future scolding didn’t matter. On a day as good as today, the taste of high-class champagne brought out to celebrate together was only bitter and painful.

“Huk, Kalan, gulp, this damned…….”

More than anything, thinking of her fiancé, who was still inside dancing with other young ladies while she was out here crying, made her clench her fists in anger.

“This b*stard!”

She had long known her fiancé was not a pure man.

Not just a little unclean……

[The second son of the Marquis Ledaire family, this time he even messed with a married woman……]

[‘There’s no woman who doesn’t know Kalan Ledaire’s thing’—shocking anonymous testimony……]

[His carefree attitude, as if engagement means nothing……]

He was a rag among rags, his name constantly appearing in the Empire’s gossip papers, responsible for nearly eighty percent of their sales.

“Bad guy……!”

Of course, Ailey hadn’t just sat and watched those rumors spread.

She had gone to the newspapers printing sensational articles to complain, and sent direct and indirect warnings to the young ladies causing scandals with him, telling them he was already taken.

“What are you doing, Kalan!”

Above all, whenever a scandal broke, she would go to Kalan himself, grab him by the collar, and shake him like catching a rat.

“You’re the worst! You’re even worse than those girls who flirt with you, because you accept them!”

“Ailey! I get it, so stop!”

“Lady! Please calm down!”

“Everyone, come and hold her back!”

It almost never worked.

No matter how much she warned him, Kalan kept fooling around, and the newspapers reporting his scandals didn’t stop either.

‘He’s all talk……!’

Fine. Fine, I’ll stop.

Kalan always promised with words only, and soon after, another scandal would erupt.

After years of this, it was Ailey who got blamed more.

“Lady Ailey Temish must have no pride.”

“That’s why she’s still chasing her fiancé around.”

“What’s so great about her fiancé cheating that she makes such a fuss?”

Even the gossip papers sometimes wrote about her, mocking and ridiculing Ailey for failing to control her fiancé.

[Lady Ailey Temish, rumored to have tried to control her fiancé’s l*st by offering herself, only to be rejected……]

[She supposedly stripped and jumped into bed, but surprisingly, Young Master Kalan Ledaire refused her……]

There were even articles like that, so that said it all.

Of course, refined and cultured young ladies would have chosen differently.

They would have pretended not to see their fiancé’s scandals, forgiving them as men being men before marriage, or broken off the engagement and found a better man.

Instead of such easy choices, she had stubbornly walked a difficult path for a reason.

“……I really liked him.”

Ailey had liked her fiancé for a very long time.

“……Hello, Young Master Ledaire.”

“Yeah, Ailey. Hello.”

When she first met him as a small child. That boy who, from the first meeting, called her by name instead of her surname.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You really seem like a prince.”

“Hmm. I hear that a lot. You……”

“Me?”

“You look like a frightened rabbit.”

“……What does that mean?”

“Uh…… No offense meant. Let’s just say it means you’re cute.”

From the moment the handsome boy smiled and gave her such a compliment as she stared wide-eyed.

Kalan was Ailey’s long-time crush and first love.

To the extent that—

“If you can’t control your l*st, then just sleep with me instead!”

“Ailey? What is this…….”

……That gossip article she always denied in front of others had actually happened.

Instead of slapping her fiancé, who got into scandals with other girls, she had gone to his bedroom, stripped herself, and thrown herself at him.

“You mess around with every woman, but why not with me, your fiancée……!”

“It’s best you calm down first. Cool your anger.”

“Kalan!”

Kalan had found her awkward and left her alone, turning her into a pervert undressing in someone else’s house.

To outsiders, it was something to be ashamed of, but Ailey never stopped pleading with Kalan.

“Lady Ailey is here again?”

“She never gets tired, does she?”

“Shh…….”

The people of the Ledaire’s household, who had been busy apologizing when the first scandal broke, grew numb and responded to her anger insincerely.

Even Kalan became more shameless as time passed.

“Ailey. I told you it was a misunderstanding.”

“Don’t talk nonsense! I saw it all with my own eyes!”

“If you say that, I don’t know what else to say…….”

But the most miserable moment was not when she ran to him every time a scandal article appeared to demand denial……

“…Why won’t you give me the same chance?”

It was when she couldn’t control her own mouth and said such things.

‘Why not me?’

She felt bad, wondering if she was really that unattractive, but couldn’t stand him getting involved with almost every woman but her.

When she finally shouted such questions, Kalan always answered with a troubled face.

“Ailey. Don’t misunderstand, listen.”

“I’ve known you since I was so young, honestly, you just seem like a friend.”

The shock of hearing that—

“And I don’t do that kind of thing with friends.”

“If we’re married, as husband and wife, there’s a duty, so maybe then I’ll consider it.”

Nothing hurt Ailey more than those words.

It meant that unless bound by marital duty, he had no reason to be physically involved with her.

‘No, even worse……’

On their wedding night, she’d be lucky if he didn’t leave the room, saying he was uncomfortable spending the first night with her.

And it didn’t end there.

“Still, the Baron Temish’s daughter is decent enough, isn’t she?”

One day, by chance, Ailey overheard Kalan talking with friends as she passed through a corridor.

“Her hair is silver, so she looks like a grandma, but her face is pretty.”

“……Don’t tell me you have feelings for your fiancée?”

Instead of getting angry at his rude friend, Kalan calmly replied,

“Dream on. She’s not someone I see as a woman.”

“Wahaha! You b*stard! Is that something to say about your fiancée?”

“What can I do, it’s the truth?”

Those words shredded Ailey’s already battered heart even more.

Not even someone he sees as a woman.

‘How could he say that.’

The sorrow inside Ailey’s heart kept piling up like grains of rice, gathering and gathering until it became a sack too heavy to carry alone.