Chapter 12

A childish Ailey who had liked him for far too long, so that it had become a kind of habit.

An Ailey who could not fully let his words pass by, and still wanted to hear what he was trying to say.

And that was why she could not simply tell Kalan to go away completely.

‘If I go on like this, how much more disappointment am I setting myself up for.’

Ailey gave a little shrug and shook her head.

When she fell silent, the conversation broke off for a moment.

Seeming oddly uncomfortable with that silence, Kalan cautiously opened his mouth.

“……Did I say it? That you really look beautiful today.”

“You said it in the carriage earlier.”

“I did? Still, I’ll say it again. You look beautiful today, Ailey.”

“…….”

“And that day at the ball. The reason I couldn’t find you was…….”

Because you did not care.

She wondered why he was suddenly acting like this now, but in truth, even hearing words like that, what echoed in her head was another’s very soft voice.

Because Kalan had just told her she was beautiful.

“Ailey, your body is truly beautiful.”

The voice of the man from her dream, whispering as though praising her.

‘This is bad.’

At this rate, she was going to start comparing her imagined man and her fiancé one by one.

Goodness.

She could not become such a strange young lady.

To regain her senses, Ailey decided to step out for some fresh air.

She had heard that the Inner Palace also had gardens.

“I’ll excuse myself for a moment.”

“Ailey. Where are you…….”

“Surely you aren’t planning to follow a lady all the way to where she takes care of her private needs?”

And in the end, she turned away under the excuse of going to the toilet.

Because she wanted some time alone.

“Even so, I’m your partner. Escorting you is…….”

She could sense that Kalan, lacking any sense as usual, was about to follow her.

“My goodness. Kalan, it’s been so long.”

“Why won’t you spend time with us today?”

“Excuse me just a moment. Ladies…….”

But, as always, he was quickly swallowed from sight among the young ladies surrounding him.

‘Just as expected.’

With a sigh at the entirely unsurprising turn of events, Ailey left the hall and walked for quite a while……

“Oh.”

And then, in the more complicated-than-expected Imperial Inner Palace, she got lost.

“……Where is this?”

The corridors of the Inner Palace were all painted in the same white and red, and even the designs of the doors were similar.

She must have gone farther in than she realized, because she could not even see passing servants.

“Hmm.”

After turning around in place again and again, Ailey sighed once more.

‘There’s no helping it.’

Someone would pass by this way eventually.

Even if it was a guard or a servant, that would be fine.

If nothing else, they would kindly send her back to the hall just to chase out someone who had dared wander through the Inner Palace.

At her age, it felt pathetic to have become lost, but at least there had to be a way out.

‘Right. Anyone at all, just pass by.’

It was while thinking that and turning her head slightly.

“Oh?”

The next corner in view looked strangely familiar.

‘Had I been here before?’

It was odd.

The corner after that, and the one after that, did not feel unfamiliar either.

As though she had memories of walking through this place before.

There was no way she would ever have come into a place like the Imperial Inner Palace.

“I’ve come to banquet halls or gardens often enough, but…….”

Like at the last ball, after making her debut she had indeed been invited to outer palace events whenever the Imperial Family held one.

But the Inner Palace was such a private space that she had never been inside……

‘……Or have I?’

Come to think of it, there had been exactly one time.

It seemed there had been exactly one time when she had thrown a tantrum, insisting that she wanted to go into the Imperial Castle’s Inner Palace.

Whether she had been six or five at the time.

It had happened when she was very young.

From what she vaguely remembered, it had been to look for something she had lost.

What had it been again.

‘……A doll?’

She could not remember why she had thought it was in the Inner Palace in the first place, but she could vaguely recall that she had stubbornly insisted on it.

“I’m going to go look for it!”

“You can’t go there, Ailey!”

Naturally, the adults had tried to stop Ailey.

That was only natural.

‘Even I would have stopped a child like that.’

If a child who had never even set foot in the Imperial Palace said she was going there to find a lost toy, what adult would simply accept that?

If she had at least used the excuse that she wanted to see the Imperial Palace, it would have gone over more easily.

“Why would your toy be there!”

“I said it’s there!”

But Ailey had been a rather tenacious child even from a young age.

If she had not been, she never would have been able to follow Kalan around for so many years.

“I’ll go by myself if I have to!”

“Ailey! Stop right there!”

She could remember as far as running off like that.

‘But what happened after that?’

She tried to remember a little more, but there was so little left, perhaps because it was a memory from when she was too young.

The events of that time would not come back clearly, as though covered in fog.

‘I probably never did make it inside that time either.’

And yet she was feeling familiarity in a place she was seeing for the first time.

‘Had a child’s dream really remained that vividly?’

Thinking that, memories from childhood rose one after another.

Most of them were memories of herself chasing after Kalan, and Kalan quietly avoiding her as though he did not care for it……

‘Still, back then it had been pure.’

Not like now, when she was weary, disappointed, and full of hurt.

How badly hurt must she have been, for someone who had never once been with a man to have such a dream?

“It’s all pointless.”

Just as Ailey muttered that and turned one more corner.

“……Ailey?”

“Huh?”

At the sound of someone calling her name, a powerful sense of déjà vu swept over Ailey.

Whip.

When she turned her head, one man came into view.

Lavish platinum hair.

Bewitching blue eyes tinged with gray.

A man with a solid body and a distant, dizzying scent.

“……Hm?”

Though she made a startled sound, Ailey’s eyes had already begun taking in the man on their own.

Today as well, he was dressed in white clothes similar to priestly robes.

The only difference from that day was that instead of the stole draped over his shoulders, he wore a necklace carved with a saint and a holy maiden.

Beneath the ascetic clothes buttoned tightly shut, the broad chest that looked ready to burst still stood out just the same.

“……Oh.”

After staring blankly for a moment, Ailey suddenly slapped her own cheek with a sharp smack.

‘Had I fallen asleep while wandering around?’

Otherwise, how could that man possibly be standing there?

As she stood there in bewilderment, tapping her own cheek, whoosh.

That soul-stealing human scent drew nearer.

Then her wrist was gently caught.

“Don’t do that. You’ll hurt yourself, Ailey.”

“…….”

“To strike such a lovely face like this.”

Strike.

She had only tapped it…….

Before Ailey could say so, the man brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.

A smile soft enough to melt anything hung at the corners of his eyes.

“Today, Ailey, you’re like a freesia bud.”

The man whispered that while looking at her puffed yellow dress, which, even generously speaking, was slightly out of fashion.

“That day, Ailey, you were like a little rabbit.”

Still blankly dazed, and now receiving compliments while her palm caught his lips, Ailey realized that the sensation on her hand was far too vivid to be a dream.

If so, then this warmth and heat.

This voice curling into her ear.

And this feeling of him pressing repeated kisses to her palm as though to consume it, as though tasting it up……

“……!”

Ailey clapped her free hand over her own mouth.

So then, so then…….

“What’s wrong?”

“Y-you are…….”

“Yes. I’m here.”

“I-I thought you were a dream…….”

Why was the man she had surely thought was only a dream here?

And with such vivid warmth, touch, and scent too.