But if Natalie had been released, the soldiers might have died. Duke Limnike would have been furious to learn his sister had been imprisoned like that. It might have led to a serious conflict between the ducal families.

Then Penvernon, with few branch families to support them and under the empire’s scrutiny, would have been at a disadvantage.

That’s why I understand she was imprisoned. And that such harsh conditions were revenge against the one who had tried to kill him.

Even after throwing her behind iron bars, Rashid’s revenge was still ongoing.

“If she escapes—I can just catch and kill her then.”

His face looked very peaceful as he said this.

“The House of Limnike won’t stay quiet.”

“Let them. That woman always wishes for my death. If they take issue with me disposing of a woman who tries to kill me, I’ll respond accordingly.”

Rashid said coldly. His eyes were boiling with clear hostility.

‘Of course it would be difficult to forgive her but……”

I thought of the topaz ring I found in the Duchess’s bedroom. The ring, made to celebrate Rashid’s birth, was still beautiful despite the long years that had passed.

That ring conflicts with her words of regretting giving birth to Rashid. Should I hide from him the fact that I found this ring? Would it be okay to hide it? Do I have the right to?

「It was like that from the beginning. Perhaps, it might have been better if I hadn’t been born at all. Just as that woman wished.」

At that moment, seeing those words flash before my eyes made my breath catch.

I ponder his words. That woman always wishes for my death, he said. Has Rashid always lived thinking like this? Is that why he thinks he’s someone who shouldn’t have been born…?

I was sad. So sad that I had to bite my lip hard to keep from crying.

“…Actually, I found something like this during that time.”

I placed the ring I had been holding onto the table. The pale blue jewel sparkled brilliantly as it reflected the light illuminating the room.

Rashid frowned and asked.

“What is this?”

“It’s yours.”

“Mine?”

Then he picked up the ring.

“Just looking at the jewel, it seems like it’s yours.”

He alternated between looking at my eyes and the jewel, as if comparing them. I hadn’t thought about it before, but indeed, the topaz’s color looked similar to my eye color.

But it clearly belongs to you. It was prepared for you before I was even born.

“Look closely.”

Rashid obediently followed my words. At times like this, he looked almost like a tamed lamb. His eyes, searching for his name along the inscription, shone clear like pieces of the moon.

“Rashid.”

“……”

“It’s my name.”

“It’s a ring for you.”

“I know.”

“……”

“I also know it’s a ring without any meaning.”

“Rashid.”

I recalled the words I had rehearsed in my mind.

However, the words I had prepared to comfort him couldn’t leave my mouth. The words hesitated and remained stuck in my throat.

“It was something that didn’t need to be kept.”

“But it’s yours.”

“No. I don’t know anything about this.”

“Rashid. While I may not understand your issues well, at least you……”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

He cut off my words with a low voice. My lips felt parched.

“I know, that’s possible. But……”

Still, there was a time when your mother thought of you.

Now, I think of you.

And I know that in the future, there will be someone who cherishes you and thinks of you tenderly.

Your fate will sail across blue seas with favorable winds, and finally reach golden lands. There lies paradise where eternal happiness is promised.

So it was good that you were born.

I wish you wouldn’t think it would have been better not to be born.

I wanted to tell him that.

“I said I don’t want to hear it, Alisa.”

He growled like a beast. His unrefined voice was rough and fierce, boiling with emotional heat. It was intense hostility, like a predator hidden in darkness spotting its prey.

That was a response beyond my expectations. I knew he would dislike it, but I didn’t expect him to recoil this much.

“You must know what that woman did to me.”

“…Yes.”

Rashid gritted his teeth. His voice came out crushed.

“You know?”

“……”

“Yet you dare to present something like this.”

“It wasn’t mine so I couldn’t hide it.”

“Then you should have thrown it away. I’m already displeased that you met that woman without permission, why do you keep making me angry?”

He reached out to grab my hand. Startled, I instinctively pulled my hand away.

Rashid’s expression twisted.

“…Alisa. What did that woman say to you?”

“Nothing. She didn’t say anything.”

I felt my fingertips growing gradually colder. I just stared at my nails turning deathly pale.

Rashid roughly grabbed my hand that had been resting quietly on my knee. It hurt a little.

“Then, what else? Did that woman do nothing to you?”

What should I answer? I was scared that if I spoke honestly, he would become even angrier. Feeling helpless, I desperately tried to choose my words, but it seemed the time allowed to me was extremely short.

“Alisa.”

I’m not sure how Rashid interpreted my silence.

While absently stroking the back of my hand, he said,

“If you don’t answer……”

“……”

“Kendrick dies.”

“What?”

“Of course, that woman will die too.”

How can he say such things?

Surprised, I tried to pull my hand away, but I couldn’t overcome Rashid’s strength.

“I was just slightly hurt.”

“Slightly?”

“Yes! So please stop talking about killing people!”

“Ha.”

Rashid let out a hollow laugh.

“Does the talk of killing that woman displease you that much?”

“Of course! She is a daughter of the Limnike family, and also your mother.”

“……”

“This ring too, for you……”

The next moment, he violently pushed away the ring on the table. I covered my ears, startled by the dull sound of the ring hitting the amber brooch on the side table.

The two jewels rolled across the floor like worthless dust. Though I looked in the direction they fell, the ring had already rolled somewhere out of sight.

“Alisa, don’t make me angry.”

It was a perfect rejection. His heart pretended to be soft for a while, but when I tried to step inside, it maintained its solid and austere form, refusing to allow anyone’s intrusion.

And so I realized.

I cannot change your heart. I cannot comfort you. In the end, I am just an outsider who cannot unlock the bolt and enter.

Because I’m an extra, because I should have died and disappeared already, because I should have remained only as a record of past chapters. Because I’m not your female protagonist, not the person you will love.

So naturally, I couldn’t move your heart.

Why did I do something so presumptuous? When I know how this story will end. When I know better than anyone else. Even though I know who and what will make him happy, I ended up pitying him anyway. I even had the illusion that I might be able to move your heart.

But, Rashid.

I just wish you were less sad. That’s all I want, modest as it is.

I picked up the brooch that had fallen to the floor. The soft stone had been damaged with a crack on its surface from hitting something. The clear fissure that looked like it would split in half with the slightest pressure seemed to mock me.

See? Look how foolish your thoughts were, how useless your comfort was. In the end, he’s just someone who has nothing to do with you.

At the same time, I felt angry. I went to Elzedun for Rashid, and imprisoned Natalie again because I wanted to protect him. I tried my best to fulfill my responsibilities as the Duchess of Penvernon, but all I get in return is this cold treatment.

Perhaps this is the fate of an extra. Someone who cannot and should not change the protagonist’s life.

Just a setting value meant to hurt him, a role that shouldn’t try to heal him.

His first love. A first love that must die. If not dead, then just a wife from a forced political marriage without meaning.

A being that could disappear with any wind. Something that must disappear and become a signpost pointing the direction fate should go. Alisa Penvernon.

That was who I was now.

I placed the brooch he had thrown onto the table. The yellow resin shone brilliantly from my pale fingertips as if it would rub off at a touch.

“…I seem to have needlessly tired you out. I’m sorry, you must be exhausted.”

Only after speaking did I realize my voice was trembling. I tried hard to wipe away the tears that suddenly welled up in my eyes, but it was futile.

“…Then rest well, you.”

I hurried out of the room before my tears could fall. As soon as I got outside the door, my legs trembled and my body swayed. In the end, I just slumped down, leaning against the door.

Yes, this is it. My place wasn’t inside that room, not by his side, but right here. A place that doesn’t reach him, far from him. A space separated from Rashid by a door.