Thinking back to that time still made her head throb. Rosana slowly turned her head. The room that had exuded a calm atmosphere had completely changed.

Curtains with beautifully blooming rose patterns chosen according to Emma’s wishes, a canopy studded with densely packed jewels, and terrifyingly large famous paintings. The decorative items lined up in the corridor the moment she left the room made Rosana’s eyes weary.

“…Nothing has changed at all.”

Just then, the door burst open. Rosana naturally assumed it was Emma. Emma usually flung doors open.

“Like I said again, I’m reading…”

“I can see that.”

She looked up in surprise at the low, heavy voice. The person Rosana thought was Emma was Jade. Behind Jade stood Jane. Rosana slowly looked them over and muttered.

“…Exactly. You can just look and see.”

Rosana closed the book she had been reading. Then she smiled out of courtesy. It was still a crooked smile, but it was the best smile she could manage.

From his thoroughly angry demeanor, she could easily tell why he had come. Jade silently strode toward Rosana. Then he placed papers down in front of her with a thud.

“What’s this?”

“This would be the money you spent in just one week.”

Rosana looked at the documents before her with an indifferent gaze. As expected… She had anticipated this after seeing the dazzling items. Naturally, the expenses had to be large. They far exceeded the budget. Glancing at Jade, who was glaring, Rosana spoke calmly.

“So?”

“Is that all?”

“Yes. Do you have something to say?”

Jade found Rosana’s nonchalant appearance detestable. His brow furrowed.

‘I was thoroughly mistaken. There’s a reason rumors spread.’

He roughly snatched the paper. Then he sneered, raising one corner of his mouth. He thr*st the documents right up to Rosana’s nose, telling her to look properly and clearly. 

His elegant fingers personally pointed out the amount.

“Just how much of the budget are you spending? Astrot may spend a lot on extravagance, but we don’t. And you will soon become the Empire’s Empress. Live with thoughts befitting that position.”

“But I’m not yet.”

Rosana replied calmly. Jade looked down at Rosana with a disgusted expression.

“…Are you protesting to get married quickly?”

“No… It’s just that I’m not yet.”

Rosana quietly asked, staring at Jade, who laughed in disbelief.

“Do you have more to say?”

“If I do, are you willing to listen?”

Jade spoke with heavy sarcasm. Rosana captured his appearance in her eyes. It was a definitive statement. Rosana’s lips twisted and she wanted to ask. Who exactly wasn’t listening?

He let out a big sigh and ran his hand through his hair.

“I don’t even expect anything great. Don’t you know you just need to stay still? Seems like something you said yourself.”

“Yes.”

Jade looked strangely at her, who readily answered his words. Then Jade’s eyes took in Rosana’s attire.

His golden eyes scanned Rosana from top to bottom. He had heard she had amassed many dresses and accessories. Yet the dress she wore was an ordinary dress without a single accessory.

Naturally, he had expected her to be wearing a flashy dress ostentatiously. But Rosana was modest, and rather, the room was more lavish. Jade’s eyes narrowed at the strange sense of incongruity.

“Are the dresses you bought decorative? Your outfit is plain.”

Even at his face and tone that blatantly showed his twisted mood, Rosana didn’t flinch. Another person might have gotten angry or irritated, but there was no emotional disturbance.

Rosana wasn’t bothered by Jade’s words at all. She was used to others judging her alone. Only, it was a bit sad that this person was someone in whom she had held a small hope. Everyone around her had been like this. 

It was the same here.

At Rosana’s subtle smile, Jade remained silent for a moment. What was that smile? 

She was the one who had done wrong. So he had reprimanded her. Yet Rosana looked at him with an expression that understood everything and accepted his hostility.

Rosana was calm. This was merely an extension of things. This was something she had to endure, something she had to face.

A quiet standoff continued, and Jade opened his mouth.

“Did you ask if I had something to say? Don’t you have anything to say to me?”

Though he had somewhat killed his hostility, it was a probing tone offering a chance to make excuses. In Jade’s eyes, he saw her blue eyes tremble finely.

“Something to say… you mean?”

Jade’s eyebrow rose crookedly. For a moment, she seemed to have stepped back. Despite sitting still in her position.

Rosana, who had taken a short breath, smiled bitterly. There was no point in asking after pouring out all the accumulated words. Because it was already a decided matter.

Some were busy trying to clean up, some were busy feigning ignorance, some were busy organizing items, and some were making a fuss demanding payment. 

In the chaos, no one had questioned Rosana. They had only said words with the nuance of exercising restraint.

‘Lady Rosana. There is a set limit to the budget. You may use it freely within that.’

Rosana captured the retreating figures of Jane and Celine in her eyes. Beside her was Emma, bursting with resentment. After that disgusting and confusing day passed, she became ‘Rosana’ again.

Rosana faced Jade squarely. A thoroughly displeased face. But a familiar face. Because it was an expression she had always seen, it was easy to read.

They asked for her opinion, but the answer was always predetermined.

That was her world.

“…I have none.”

“None? I didn’t come all the way here to hear just that.”

Jade punched the wall beside him like he would devour Rosana. A loud ‘thud’ rang out. Golden eyes with crackling flames met quiet blue eyes.

“Explain yourself.”

“Explain…”

Memories of the past swirled dizzyingly in Rosana’s head. Her childhood when she had shouted ‘no’ to everyone. 

People who said they believed her outwardly but whispered again when they turned around. People who didn’t listen even when she spoke.

Her wailing voice only echoed hollowly in the air. Truth that wasn’t conveyed even when she screamed. She had fallen into a pit of unknowable depth in a reality where words weren’t conveyed no matter how much she spoke them.

He made a demand of her. To speak the words out loud. With the same gaze and tone Rosana had always faced. Rosana calmly stared at him.

“I won’t speak. Because there’s no guarantee words will get through.”

“Sophistry. How can I know if you don’t speak? If you don’t put it into words, it’s bound to be distorted.”

Rosana gave a bitter smile. Whether she spoke or not, it was the same. Whichever she chose, the result was the same, so she had given up speaking. Rosana’s powerless hands lay neatly on her lap. 

She spoke flatly.

“There are cases where words don’t get through even when spoken. For example… Yes. Jane must have reported the budget details to Your Majesty. I knew Jane was Your Majesty’s person. You drove out all the maids for surveillance in the first place, didn’t you?”

It would be strange if there were no surveillance. Diovaha suspected the intentions behind Astrot’s proposed alliance. Moreover, the marriage partner was that ‘Rosana Arcadi.’ 

She knew well herself that she was someone who had to be guarded against.

In a posture like being trapped, Rosana lightly pushed his chest. Jade stepped back inadvertently.

“I don’t mind the surveillance. I can understand it. But…”

She couldn’t control the emotions boiling up at the repeating situation. Because he was someone who had gently glimpsed her shadow, she felt an even greater whirlpool of emotions.

‘You’re asking, but why…! Why are you looking at me with the same expression as them?’

Questions asked after reaching a conclusion have no meaning. It had always been this way. Rosana slowly caught her breath.

Jade’s brow narrowed. Rosana, who had been biting her lips, shook her head left and right like shaking something off. Then she raised her head. That expression was strange and twisted. 

Like a young child who didn’t know what expression to make.

“Who told you I did it?”

“What?”

“Emma must have said I did it. Then what about the others? Did they say I ordered it?”

It was a somehow lonely and dejected expression. Rosana recalled the attitudes of Jade and the rest.

“Your Majesty naturally thought it was my instruction too, didn’t you?”

At Rosana’s words, Jade took a short breath. His widened eyes showed his bewilderment. It was natural. All the evidence pointed to her. So he had no choice but to believe it. Yet Rosana’s tone seemed to blame him. Jade’s brow narrowed.

Rosana recalled the attitudes of Jane, Celine, and the other maids. Jane had many duties, including managing the palace. Even while busy, she was an exemplary head maid who looked after Rosana’s well-being. 

However, Jane was the same. She affirmed Emma, who said it was Rosana’s order, without any objection. She didn’t ask Rosana about the whole story.

And Celine, she was Jane’s substitute. Her conduct was proper, and she spoke her thoughts with conviction. 

That’s why she was selected as Rosana’s personal maid. However, perhaps because she was of noble birth, she found Rosana, who tarnished honor, unpleasant.

Also, she couldn’t stand Emma attacking. Strictly speaking, Celine and Emma’s positions were different. Celine thought she had been insulted by Emma and considered it Rosana’s scheme. 

The other maids were similar. Since they heard stories from around them, the scales naturally tipped. That Rosana had intended it.

If she listened even a little to outside the window, she could hear it. People said. Naturally, since she’s ‘Rosana Arcadi,’ she must like flashy things. There were many people chattering like that. 

One person’s words versus many people’s words. It was obvious whose side they would take.

Rosana looked at Jade and Jane as though demanding the truth. 

‘Would my words have meaning? Would they believe my words?’

This was no different from a chronic illness. Terrible facts that couldn’t be erased even when she wanted to erase them.

Jade and Jane flinched at the gaze asking if her thoughts weren’t correct. He lowered the corner of his mouth that had been twisted up crookedly.

Jade was confused. He had clearly thought it was Rosana’s fault, but he didn’t know why his chest was being pricked.

“…”

“…”

A silence of unknowable depth passed between them.

“I… don’t do meaningless things. I’ve decided not to.”

They were powerless words. Only then did Jade realize the meaning of Rosana’s words, and his eyes widened. 

At their expressions, frozen from having their true feelings exposed, laughter burst from Rosana. A cynical laugh filled the room. 

But the target of that laughter wasn’t Jade and Jane, but Rosana herself. Because her own heart was absurd.

Even now, she was hoping. Words she would never normally say flowed out smoothly because he was before her eyes.

‘You’re quite different from the rumors I’ve heard.’

With that one statement, she had become someone special. For the first time, someone had looked straight at her, the shadow of ‘Rosana.’ 

But the result was the same. It was decided the moment he came here and opened his mouth.

The child from her childhood, hiding deep in her heart, knocked on the door saying she was here. Like a foolish child, she appealed to be discovered. However, she couldn’t muster the courage herself.

‘If… I had spoken first, would it have been different? In the past… There was a time I cried out that it wasn’t true…’

There were times when new maids came to the ducal family. There were people who questioned whether Rosana was a good person, whether they had been mistaken. 

Once or twice, she had opened her heart to such people. But the result was the same.

They believed what everyone said, not the hollow words she cried out alone.

‘You were the same too.’

Rosana’s lips hung open awkwardly and gaped. She had knelt hundreds, thousands of times. 

Her voice had grown hoarse. She didn’t know when it started. When she suddenly realized, her words had been shut off long ago.