‘He really is different from me…’

He seized it himself. The prince locked in the tower took up his sword and fought to save the dying kingdom. 

He stood at the forefront more than anyone when subjugating monsters and furthermore when warring with invading small countries. After the late king, who’d spent nights awake with worries, passed away, Jade, who led great victories, took his place.

And it became an empire.

“Can’t you believe it?”

Rosana slowly shook her head. If his words were truly fact, then yesterday’s appearance made sense too. More than anything, he had no reason to lie.

“No. I believe you.”

Rosana spoke calmly.

“So do I.”

“Pardon?”

Like he’d been waiting for those very words from Rosana, Jade immediately affirmed. He smiled, curving his eyes beautifully.

“You believe my story too, so there’s no reason I can’t believe yours.”

Jade let out a pleasant laugh. Honestly, though he’d spoken boldly, he was surprised by her straightforward answer. Would she accept it this easily?

It was none other than monsters. Creatures that devoured people and destroyed homes, the nation’s greatest headache. Yet when told such blood was mixed in, Rosana calmly affirmed with eyes free of any prejudice. 

Still, it was puzzling why she didn’t apply the standard of belief to matters related to herself. Or perhaps there had never been such people until now. Thinking that way, it was regrettable.

“You said there was no guarantee words would get through. I felt the same way. Who on earth would believe the absurd story that monster blood was mixed in? But you believed it.”

“…”

“Me too. I’ll believe any absurd story. If you tell me now that the sun rises in the west, I’ll believe that too. So I’d like you to tell me directly.”

Rosana silently listened to Jade’s words. But her mouth never opened in the end.

“Don’t you know what to say? I’ll tell you. It’s simple. Just show those gossiping people clearly. I believe your words.”

At his resolute words, Rosana stopped breathing. Then she slowly raised her head and stared blankly at Jade. Even when no one believed, even when she could no longer speak, she endlessly repeated inside.

That she didn’t like red roses, didn’t hate Amy, and didn’t love the Crown Prince.

That… it was all Mother’s fault, that other people distorted heer…

Now was the opportunity. She clearly wanted to speak, but her throat choked up like she’d swallowed a lump of sand and words wouldn’t come out.

“Tsk. Just what happened?”

His heart ached at Rosana’s struggling appearance. Her face buried in her palms, her head unable to lift—it was pitiful. Jade, who approached Rosana’s side, pulled her in. Her small body fell deeply into his embrace. He brought his lips to Rosana’s ear and whispered very softly.

Breathe. Evenly, slowly. Even intermittently, breathe.

Rosana quietly closed her eyes. She felt like crying at his gentle tone.

“Rosana, I want to know you. So please don’t avoid me.”

“Why… why do you ask? Why do you want to know?”

At Rosana’s words, Jade’s brow narrowed.

“If I must give a reason… it’s because I felt drawn to you. At first, I was curious why you were covered in infamy. But didn’t you recognize me at a glance even in my hideous monster form? So I wanted to know too.”

He shrugged along with his brazen words. He couldn’t forget the voice that called him “Your Majesty,” the small burst of laughter and smile saying it wasn’t dangerous at all. Yesterday’s memories were so vivid he could break them into pieces and name each one.

Perhaps he’d found peace.

Anyone who saw that form would scream and run away. Whether they’d known each other long or were strangers, the reaction was uniform. But she didn’t avoid or flee—she faced him directly.

“Is my answer sufficient?”

Rosana bit her lip hard. His sincerity was fully conveyed.

An action done without any thought became meaningful to him.

She was happy. The emotion boiling up from deep in her chest was surely joy. 

At the fact that she, who was pointed at by everyone, could also offer comfort to someone. But she couldn’t answer the question of who she was. Despite his kindness in waiting a long time.

What came out in the end was a question in return. The words whispered and muttered scattered sadly, emptily in the air.

“What am I like in Your Majesty’s eyes?”

“…”

If she was truly asking because she didn’t know, it meant she’d been swayed by her surroundings to the point of not knowing herself. 

She might think the image reflected in people’s gazes was the truth. He thought it was pitiful. Excitement coexisted within Rosana’s shallow breathing.

“The you I know is… yes, someone who isn’t honest.”

“Is that all?”

“Yes. That’s all.”

Rosana was dazed by his concisely ended answer. Jade cupped her cheek with his hand. Then he stroked it soothingly. She was like a newly hatched chick. 

Eyes don’t lie. Her eyes were like empty glass beads. From what he’d grasped, Rosana had no strength. No strength to break free herself.

“You don’t even know who you are. Then from now on, you just need to find out.”

He believed.

The Rosana Jade knew was someone with absurdly great courage. The image of her not backing down even with a terrifying monster before her eyes flickered. She’d simply knelt to the environment surrounding her through repeated frustration.

His gaze, persistent to the point of being tenacious, wouldn’t release Rosana. Seeing Rosana’s reaction, Jade became convinced he was the first to say such words to her.

The first…

Somehow it had a nice ring to it. Jade smacked his lips. Becoming the person who lifts her up, becoming someone special—it wasn’t bad.

“Right. Shall I give you an opportunity… Since I received help yesterday, I’ll grant you one wish. A wish I’ll grant.”

A wish granted by none other than the Emperor—it was a groundbreaking proposal.

“For example… Emma, was it? Shall I banish that maid to Astrot? There’ll be noise, but ignoring it is enough.”

He seemed to be testing her to say anything. Using carrot and stick alternately, he urged Rosana to stand up by her own strength. He encouraged her to speak directly. He hoped she would forge her own path rather than hopelessly letting go with both hands and collapsing.

Rosana’s nails dug into her tender palm flesh. Her pupils trembled like aspen leaves, having lost their way. A soul fallen into a quagmire couldn’t easily escape. Rosana was only swept away by the whirlpool of emotions.

“Don’t make that expression. It’s okay. Changing in an instant would be difficult. I’m here, so you don’t need to be afraid. You don’t need to be scared either.”

He was looking at Rosana seemingly with pity.

‘Why? What’s my expression like?’

Rosana turned her gaze to the teacup that had gone cold. On the calm surface was reflected a face in disarray, looking lost and ready to burst into tears at any moment. She wore raw emotions like a young child.

“Don’t avoid, don’t run away. There’s plenty of time. You can take it slowly. Speak when you want to speak. I’ll wait.”

Jade gently stroked the top of her head with careful hands, like touching an infinitely weak creature. The gently sweeping touch was warm. He was saying he would shake off the person who had always stood at the forefront distorting Rosana in place of the Duchess.

But though his following words were gentle, they clearly urged her to reveal what she wanted. He advised her to speak for herself.

“So someday, come speak on your own.”

Rosana bit her lip hard. Then with eyes slightly downcast, she stared fixedly only at the teacup. 

Her trembling eyelids seemed ready to fall at any moment but never closed to the end, and she didn’t look away from her bare face.

The comforting words buzzed and didn’t properly enter her ears. His footsteps gradually grew distant. And the door closed with a thud. Simultaneously, a deep sigh came out with a soliloquy.

“Stop acting spoiled.”

A wish. He said it with his own mouth. That he’d banish Emma. 

But she couldn’t say a single word of affirmation. Those brilliantly shining golden eyes were affectionate. Enough to bring tears naturally. But they were resolute.

There was herself shouting in despair at reality that she couldn’t do it, that if she could have, things would have changed long ago. 

‘If you know, if you’ve grasped that much, please do something about me.’

There was herself screaming why don’t you say what I want first. There was herself who collapsed saying she couldn’t do it herself, leaning on others.

She knew. That it was her own selfishness. But she wanted to be forcibly pulled up. She wanted the darkness lifted. But like he knew her heart well, though he extended his hand, he didn’t grab her wrist and pull her up.

Grasping the hand is your part. Standing up is also your part. But he extends his hand. Affectionate yet strict.

He threw a question. He might not have intended it. But Rosana felt that way.

“Why… I understand why I couldn’t answer the question of ‘me.’ But why… why couldn’t I answer when he said he’d banish Emma? That was… something I always wished for.”

Rosana stared blankly at the ceiling for a long while.

“Ah…”

Then she realized. Her wavering heart told her.

‘I’m being a coward.’

Rosana slowly stood up. She grasped the firmly closed doorknob and opened the door. Emma stood there. Leaving the Arcadi ducal family. That was merely one-dimensional.

‘The true liberation I wanted is casting off the mask of “Rosana Arcadi.“’

What she truly wished for was living her own life. Then who is ‘me’?

She’d left the ducal family but hadn’t even brushed the hem of the existence called ‘me.’ 

It was pathetic. She despaired. She dismissed it as Emma’s fault. Because she gave wings to the rumors of ‘Rosana.’ Because she became ‘Rosana’ through her actions.

‘But if Emma disappears, will I be happy?’

She didn’t know if she could shed all errors, if she could find her true self. That’s why deep in her heart, she couldn’t completely cut Emma off. She’d always only made excuses to the world.

“…You’re a mess, Rosana.”

“Miss…?”

Seeing Emma’s worried expression, a strange light appeared in Rosana’s blue eyes.

“Your existence… was a kind of escape for me.”

“What?”

Scared to stand up, her powerless self made excuses with this and that unfortunate past, brainwashing herself that she couldn’t do it. 

‘Because Emma is here, I can’t change.’

She’s blocking my path, she concluded.

She looked away out of fear. If Emma left too and she hadn’t changed at all, she felt she’d be too pathetic to love herself. For self-rationalization. Going round and round, she was acting spoiled. To everyone.

Emma, who couldn’t understand Rosana’s cryptic words, tilted her head.

‘A wish… My wish is to find myself. I want to live my own life. And hopefully, I wished that life would be happy.’

‘Should I tell him… that I want to live my own life? Happiness was a word I didn’t know, too much for me to grasp, a word I couldn’t even dare glimpse.’

Rosana took a step. Though her steps wavered precariously like her fluttering golden hair, she didn’t fall.