P.S. I’ve enclosed some dried tea leaves. I usually drink this when I have body aches, and it’s quite calming. It might help with sleep too. It’s just ordinary tea you can buy in the neighborhood, so don’t feel burdened.

P.P.S. Though this only works when it’s cold, but when I can’t sleep, I use a very thick blanket. Thick enough to feel a bit suffocating. It makes me drowsy quickly. I also recommend hugging a doll or pillow. Having something in your arms makes you feel quite comfortable.

If you have someone to hold in bed, that works too. What do you think, did that help?]

[To Yuan

Yuan, do you think I’ll do well?

Can you tell me one more time that I’ll definitely do well? Even I think writing a letter like this after midnight seems pathetic, but I can’t help it.

I’m so anxious and you’re the only person who comes to mind. Am I relying on you too much? If so, I’ll try to restrain myself from now on.

Every time I fall asleep, I dream of either getting rejected or accepted, so whether I sleep six hours or eight, it doesn’t feel like I’ve slept at all.

Ah, it’s actually fortunate you’re not beside me. If you were, I’d be knocking on your door every ten minutes. I might even bring my pillow and claim a spot.

Why am I like this when it’s not even my first audition? No, I know the answer. It’s just… I’ve been pacing around the house all day. Walking, sitting, lying down—I couldn’t keep my hands still, so I made a ton of donuts this afternoon.

My mind calmed down while I was lifting each fried donut one by one. Now I have no idea what to do with the twenty donuts I made!

The kitchen is still filled with a sweet scent, but my heart is once again filled with confusion. I think I’d feel more peaceful in the middle of a construction site.

But I really,

truly,

want to do well…

So cheer for me, like you always do.

October 3,

Perry.]

[To my already magnificent actor,

Thank you for the tea leaves. I brewed them as soon as I received them. The aroma was so lovely that when I briefly opened the window, my roommate next door whined for some too. I managed to send him away after promising to buy him dinner.

I wanted to enjoy your gift all to myself. Now that I’ve said it, it sounds quite childish… but is this much acceptable? Please feel free to tell me if it’s unseemly.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what you mentioned before about sincerity, honesty, and intimacy. I still don’t have a clear answer, but I don’t want to upset you. So please tell me anytime if I’m lacking in something.

I’m trying my best to mix in my own stories too, but I’m not sure if I’m doing well. It’s becoming embarrassing to keep mentioning how awkward I am at this. But I’d rather be criticized for lacking skill than have my sincerity doubted.

Thanks to you, I’ve been sleeping like before. Don’t misunderstand, I don’t have anyone to hold. Not before, and probably not in the future either.

Affection between lovers is, how should I put it—superficial, isn’t it? I probably will never understand the passion my parents once had.

Come to think of it, I’m curious about something. Do you fully “understand” the roles you play? Looking through magazines featuring actors, everyone says something different. Some project their own emotions onto the stage, while others completely separate themselves.

For instance, Carter from 「Four Sisters」 that you played. He cares for Chevron but is skeptical about marriage, and yet fears that expressing his feelings might end the relationship. Is your own perspective or experience reflected in this role? If not, how do you create the character?

Though I’m your ardent fan, I’m a complete novice when it comes to theater, so I can’t imagine it at all. Acting is literally becoming “someone completely different from myself.”

I’d be delighted if you could give a hint to this curious fan. Ah, of course, if it’s a trade secret, I won’t pry further.

About the audition, I’m not worried. To be specific, I’ve never once doubted that you’ll someday stand in the kingdom’s largest theater. Sincerely.

But for now, I’ll pray with you, Perry. Since you said you’re praying to every god in the kingdom, I’ll pray to the gods outside. Among the many gods, at least one will listen.

October 6,

Sending all my share of luck, Yuan.

P.S. I received your letter dated the 3rd. Fortunately, it arrived before I sent my reply. I had to unseal the envelope I’d already closed, but I got to use a newly ordered envelope, so it’s rather welcome.

Perry, you will definitely do well. Without a doubt, better than anyone who has stood or will stand on stage.

Believe in yourself. If that’s difficult, believe in me who believes in you. If even that’s difficult, let’s believe in the Perry of the past who has worked so hard. The Perry Humble I know from those days will surely succeed.]

[Dearest Yuan,

I got in!

Oh my!

I got in!

I’ll be participating as a supporting actor in Leopora Theater’s own production! Goodness!

Practice starts next week! Oh my! I overheard which actors are participating, and they’re all well-known people I’ve heard of at least once.

I’m probably the one with the least experience. But that doesn’t matter at all, since this is just the beginning.

The performance starts at the end of December, and until then, I’ll be busy with practice. Ah, I need to reschedule my regular checkup that I had planned for November. I hope there’s an available slot this week…

I’m so happy, Yuan!

Just a few days ago, I was withering like a leaf that had gotten too much sunlight, but now the whole world feels beautiful! The sunshine is so warm, and the blanket is so fluffy.

As your actor, I’ll make sure not to disappoint you.

I’ll really do my best. Thank you so, so much for cheering me on and believing in me. Now it’s my turn to live up to that faith, right?

October 9,

Sending love, Perry.]

※※※

“Sigh…”

Perry let out a long sigh as soon as she left the large hospital. The most famous eye clinic in Roju was crowded with patients and their guardians from the entrance. After spending half a day moving among people, her legs felt completely drained.

One step forward, then stop. One step forward, then stop.

Perry, who had been acting like someone who lost an earring on a sandy beach, finally came to a complete halt. The sunlight stretched long and the sky was blue. The woman who had been standing blankly crouched down right there.

Whether it was due to the noise or the heat, she couldn’t quite gather her thoughts. People busily passed by Perry, who was curled up like a pill bug.

One, two, three, then one, two, three again. As Perry was consciously breathing in and out, an urgent voice fell upon her head.

“Are you alright?”

Cold water, winter sunlight, a fairy’s silk cape that even His Majesty the King couldn’t wear.

A voice that had become familiar after being savored for days. Her head, which had been hanging low almost touching the ground, slowly lifted. Perry stared blankly at the familiar face.

“If you’re uncomfortable— Pe, Humble?”

“Hello, Jin.”

“What are you doing here? Are you sick?”

“No. Just tired for a moment.”

The man extended his hand without hesitation. Perry accepted the kindness without declining. The gesture of pulling up her limp body was effortless. Her apricot-colored nails lightly brushed against the man’s palm.

“Are you really okay?”

“I had a regular checkup. I’m just tired from all the tests.”

Ah, a dazed sigh. The way he curled and uncurled his fingers and cleared his throat was uncharacteristically scattered. Perry took a step closer, adjusting her grip on the white cane she had been loosely holding.

“What brings you here?”

“Just had some business to take care of.”

One step back, the black dress shoes retreated.

The brown boots took one big step forward. Perry deliberately spoke quickly, not giving the man a chance to react.

“If you move that far away, I can’t hear well. I already can’t see as well as you.”

“Ah, excuse me. Sorry. …How was the examination?”

“Same as last year.”

“That’s… good?”

“Yeah, well. It means it’s unchanged. Have you had dinner?”

“Not yet.”

“Perfect. Let’s eat together.”

“But—”

“Do you have plans? I know a good restaurant. I’ll treat you, okay?”

Ambiguous attitude was powerless before determined will. The man, who had been biting the inside of his cheek, finally nodded slowly. His gaze was resolute, as if resigning himself to an inevitable fate.

Once permission was granted, her gentle eyes narrowed slightly. Her dense light brown eyelashes formed cute ridges. Her steps naturally became lighter. The man caught up with Perry, who was walking briskly ahead, and whispered softly.

“Are you okay without guidance?”