Chapter 2 – You Keep Bothering Me (Part 1)

The next day’s sun rose brightly as ever. After spending the night torn between Karcian, who was bedridden because of her, and the young nobleman introduced by Norelea, Anasha finally made a decision.

It was noon on a sunny day. At one of the most famous restaurants in the capital, Anasha found herself sitting across from the Young Master Frada. The man was Ossolt Lam Frada, the second son of the Earl Frada’s family. With his handsome features and upright character, he made a very favorable impression as there seemed to be no flaw in him.

Anasha sipped her tea while listening to various stories from the young nobleman. As the unique aroma of the tea swirled in her mouth, she reflexively thought of Karcian. He always added milk to his tea. Not a child, yet he didn’t enjoy bitter things, but strangely loved coffee. Once, he even added milk to coffee, which turned out to taste surprisingly good….

“So, as I was saying, Young Madam. Young Madam…?”

“Ah, yes! Sorry. Where were you in the story?”

Startled by Young Master Frada’s question, Anasha gave an awkward chuckle. Despite his excellent sense of humor and engaging stories, Anasha found herself unable to concentrate.

“Could you please continue? I’d like to hear more.”

“Yes! Of course. As I was saying… that day… it was like that.”

Encouraged by her response, Young Master Frada resumed speaking. Anasha, with the endless chatter behind her, shifted her gaze to the window. Coincidentally, their seating faced northeast, directly towards the direction of the Shakers Ducal residence.

‘I wonder if Karcian is alright.’

Should I visit him tomorrow? Or even tonight?

Karcian always acted pridefully in odd ways, preferring to be alone when ill. If that’s the case, why not seek his mother? When someone stayed by his side, he’d tell them to leave, but if they weren’t there, he’d feel hurt. After a few tussles, she realized that when Karcian said to leave, he meant to stay. He was just too proud to show his weakness.

‘This is driving me crazy.’

Why does my mind always wander to Karcian? 

Anasha clutched her forehead, pained by a throbbing headache.

‘Ah, forget it! There are plenty of people to take care of him, anyway!’

Trying hard to push the constantly lingering Karcian out of her mind, Anasha vigorously shook her head. They say thinking can become a habit. She was frustrated that her thoughts kept leaning towards Karcian, so she forced herself to laugh loudly at the young nobleman’s stories.

***

Meanwhile, Karcian, tossing and turning from his fever, sensed someone nearby and managed to sit up against the headboard. The world seemed to swirl before his eyes, a chaotic blend of earth and floor. Everything looked blurry, as if his eyes were coated in oil, and his nauseous stomach, having nothing in it, only brought up bile.

“Bahil… water…”

He looked for his servant to soothe his churning stomach. His voice cracked, barely a hoarse whisper escaping.

‘Pathetic…’

If this was how it would be, what was the point of going to the academy?

By now, Anasha was probably enjoying a date with that Frada or Puradak guy, wearing a dress he’d never seen before, smiling with a shy expression he’d never witnessed.

“I like you, Anasha!”

“Yikes! No! I don’t like men who are weaker than me!”

Why, of all times, do I remember what ten-year-old Anasha said?

“Ah!”

As Karcian was startled by the words he feared most echoing in his mind, he lifted his head. His blurry vision gradually focused. A hand from the person beside him was placed on his forehead. Perhaps because they were holding a cup filled with ice water, the cool temperature transferred through the hand. In his dazed state, Karcian felt a sense of strangeness. The touch on his forehead was too familiar. Moreover, there was no way an attendant would place their hand on his forehead. He quickly turned his head.

“Sha, Sha…?”

The girl he longed to see was standing beside him with a sullen expression. 

Was I seeing illusions now? Could it possibly be real? 

Holding onto a sliver of hope, Karcian gently grasped the fluttering light pink curls and brought them to his lips. As he deeply inhaled the raspberry scent of her favorite oil, the hallucination snatched her hair back, taking a step away.

“Shasha?”

The hallucination resembling her glared at him with trembling green eyes. The porcelain-like pale face flushed red up to the ears, making Karcian lick his lips. Anasha, when pinned beneath him, had turned red like that, too, groaning. He had held back so much wanting to drive her further every time she clawed at his back with tears in her eyes.

‘If it’s a hallucination…’

Would it be okay to keep thrusting for days without rest?

Even while eating, she could swallow with her lower mouth (cunt) while taking in the food he chewed with her upper mouth. Day and night. If he kept thrusting into her lower parts, wouldn’t her tiny womb fill up with his seed? Imagining her lower belly swollen with his child, Karcian blushed. Then he felt melancholic at the thought of Anasha bearing his child.

‘I heard giving birth is painful….’

The thought of her in pain brought tears to his eyes. Karcian, who had been considering passing his title to a collateral line, sank into endless gloom.

‘What’s the use of all this…’

Anasha is probably with another man right now. 

Feeling momentarily melancholic, Karcian stared blankly at the illusion.

‘It must be an illusion.’

Because the real her wouldn’t be here. Moreover, if it were her—who saw him as nothing more or less than a childhood friend—she would never react this way. She would have immediately raised her fist and struck him on the crown of his head.

‘Shasha….’

In his longing, he wanted to cling even to her illusion. He wished that even in his delusions, she would smile at him. Whisper words of love into his ears. With that hope, Karcian slightly revealed the feelings he had long suppressed.

“Shasha… I’m not weaker than you anymore….”

It was just his fantasy, not the real Anasha. Afraid of seeing her look at him with disdain, Karcian chewed on his lips. But since it was an illusion, she didn’t respond. 

Still, even if it’s a dream, I’m happy. If she came to me even in a dream, that’s enough for me.

“I like you, Anasha.”

Karcian reached out to her, wrapping his arms around her slender waist. He pulled her onto his lap and leaned in for a kiss.

‘I like you, Anasha.’

***

“I’m sorry! I’m not feeling well….”

“It’s alright, I’ll escort you.”

“No, it’s fine! I’ll contact you next time!”

After finishing a meal with the young nobleman Frada, which she couldn’t tell if she ate through her nose or mouth, and attending the opera together, Anasha abruptly stood up just as the performance reached its climax.

‘I can’t take this anymore, seriously!’

Why was he, two years older than her, no different from her four-year-younger brothers? With the image of Karcian, who was probably suffering and groaning, vividly in her mind, Anasha eventually headed to the Shakers Ducal residence.

“Shasha….”

As expected. Karcian, drenched in sweat with a raging fever, tossed and turned, groaning in pain. 

Was he so resentful of being dunked in the lake? 

Even while suffering, Karcian continuously called for her.

“Karcian, Karcian? I’m here.”

Anasha wiped his damp hair with her sleeve and sat on a small chair beside the bed. Karcian, who had been groaning, seemed to regain his senses at her touch and sat up.

“Bahil… water….”

‘He must be really sick.’

Seeing Karcian mistakenly thinking of her as a servant, the conscience she had tried to ignore turned into guilt, piercing her heart deeply. Normally, she would have told him to drink water with his own hands, but today she moved without a word. After all, she was the one who had made him suffer like this. So she quietly poured ice water into a cup, but then Karcian suddenly shivered and lifted his head.

“Ah!”

As he groaned with his hoarse voice, Anasha, startled, blinked her eyes without a word. 

Is the fever really that bad? 

Anasha put her hand on his forehead after setting down the ice water. This time, he seemed to be suffering quite seriously.

“Sha, Sha…?”

Karcian, turning his head to look directly at her, called her with a cracked voice. Just as Anasha opened her mouth to respond, he suddenly grabbed her hair and kissed her.

‘This crazy guy, seriously!’

Anasha pulled her hair from his grip and backed away. It seemed he wasn’t too sick to play such a nasty trick.

“Shasha?”

Just as she was about to unleash a string of curses, Karcian slumped, blushed, and then slumped again, calling her name repeatedly. Worrying about his fluctuating expression, yet finding his drooping appearance somewhat cute, Anasha bit her lip.

‘Get a grip! You’re just friends with Karcian, friends!’

While Anasha tightly closed her eyes, trying to convince herself, Karcian muttered some nonsense.

“Shasha… I’m not weaker than you anymore….”

‘What is he talking about?’