4. From Beginning to End

It happened when Michael was seven years old.

The previous Duchess of Heimdall, who had been exceptionally close to Michael, passed away at the age of ninety. It was a peaceful death—she fell asleep and never woke up.

As if she somehow knew she would leave this world, the night before, she had repeatedly asked for Michael, her most beloved grandson. Though it was unlike her, she had requested that he come see her before she went to sleep, saying she really wanted to see him.

But Michael couldn’t go to his grandmother then. He had lost her favorite handkerchief and, fearing a scolding, spent the entire night searching his room instead of going to her, guarding his room.

When morning came and he saw his grandmother who had turned her back on the world, quietly smiling but never to wake again, Michael deeply regretted his decision.

I should have just gotten scolded by grandmother… I should have at least heard her voice scolding me.

Why didn’t she tell me it might be the last time? If she had… if she had, I would have dropped everything and run to her warm embrace, acting spoiled all night.

“Grow up to be a kind adult. A nobleman’s elegance comes not from wealth but from attitude. Always grow to be an adult who fulfills responsibilities and duties, my little bear.”

His grandmother’s gentle voice continued to claw at Michael’s ears even on the day of her funeral. Because he was sorry, because he missed her, because he wanted to see her, the rain fell in place of the young Michael who couldn’t cry.

In the end, Michael hid away without even watching his grandmother being buried. The funeral, which should have been quiet, became chaotic as everyone ran around looking for him.

The one who found him hiding under an old tree trunk in the garden was…

“…Michael, are you there?”

It was Catherine.

“Go away, Cathy.”

“Are you very sad?”

“…Go away.”

The boy, raised to be a composed eldest son who didn’t even know how to cry freely, was quietly swallowing his tears while hiding his body under a tree trunk.

Catherine, who had been pacing around Michael uncertainly, carefully approached him. Then, before Michael could react, she took off her coat and covered his head with it.

“What are you doing, Cathy?”

Michael’s vision went completely dark. It was already dark under the tree trunk, but the now darker view gave him a feeling of being completely cut off from the world.

Small arms embraced the frozen Michael. His world became filled with darkness, the sound of rain, and Catherine’s warmth.

“I’ll hide you.”

“Hide… me?”

“Yes. So no one can find you, so no one can see you, I’ll hide you. Cry as much as you want.”

The small, thin embrace held Michael quite firmly. Why his sorrowful heart burst in that embrace…

Michael, who had stubbornly bitten his lip saying he wouldn’t cry, finally burst into tears at the small hands patting his shoulders.

“Huaaaang! I’m sorry to my grandmother. I’m so sorry…!”

“Michael……”

“What if grandmother hates me? What if she cries in heaven feeling hurt and disappointed?”

“When we die and go to heaven later… let’s apologize together then, okay? I’ll apologize with you. Grandmother Anna loved me too, so if we apologize together, she’ll forgive us everything. Because she’s kind.”

Catherine at that time comforted Michael quite maturely and composedly. Though it was a damp and cold night, Michael cried for a long time in Catherine’s small embrace, not feeling the cold.

Later, Catherine ended up bursting into tears along with the sobbing Michael…

That kind memory comforted the young Michael who had lost his most beloved relative. His sorrow could be halved by her warm presence.

The problem was… that night, Catherine collapsed with a high fever. A child with an already weak body had endured for hours in the rain without wearing a coat.

Catherine was bedridden for a full week then too.

Her face pale as a sheet of paper, her parched lips breathing precariously, and her forehead completely damp with sweat.

Michael was deeply shocked by Catherine’s appearance, looking as if she might die at any moment.

It felt like her illness was all his fault. A desperate fear of losing her, his precious friend, after his grandmother, dominated the young Michael.

Michael ran to Catherine’s mansion as soon as he opened his eyes and stayed by her side until nightfall.

When Catherine, who opened her eyes after a week, smiled at Michael like a white pear blossom, Michael made a resolution.

I will protect you. I will treat you preciously so you won’t fall ill.

“I’m sorry, Michael… I only remembered later. This… is Grandmother Anna’s, right? You were looking for this, weren’t you?”

Catherine, who had barely opened her eyes, took out a well-ironed, neat handkerchief from the bedside table and held it out. Only when Michael saw the handkerchief in Catherine’s hand did he remember.

He had wrapped this handkerchief around her knee when she fell and got hurt…

He had wrapped it around her thinking it was his handkerchief, only realizing later that it was his grandmother’s. By then, it was already stained with Catherine’s blood, so he had just let her keep it.

“…I’m sorry. I should have brought it back sooner.”

Catherine, who had grown thin from suffering with illness, apologized with a sorry face. Even though it wasn’t Catherine who had taken it but he who had given it to her, Catherine wore an apologetic expression.

That apologetic expression gave Michael an even heavier sense of debt. He felt much more sorry than she did.

The recovered handkerchief of his grandmother didn’t even register in his eyes. He was only concerned about Catherine’s pale face, sweating profusely. He just desperately wished that Catherine wouldn’t get sicker.

‘I’ll protect you so you won’t get sick again. Even when I become an adult… definitely.’

Michael prayed like that several times in his young heart.

How deeply Catherine’s kindness, that gentleness of smiling for him even after nearly dying while comforting him, was engraved in Michael’s heart… the young Michael and Catherine at that time had no way of knowing.

⁕⁕⁕

“Ugggggh…! Wow, I slept well.”

Catherine, whose eyes were tickled by sunlight, opened them wide and sat up stretching. It was a morning when her body felt miraculously light.

Laura and Cindy, who were arranging the curtains, turned to look at Catherine and smiled welcomingly.

“Are you awake, Miss? Are you feeling better?”

“Yes, completely better! No more fever, right?”

“Yes. Your fever has gone down completely, and your complexion looks bright. But just to be sure, I’ll bring Allen.”

“I’ll bring you washing water and warm milk tea. Please wait a moment.”

Cindy went downstairs to fetch Allen, and Laura went to get milk tea. Catherine, with her lightened body, took in the damp air by the window. The clear breeze felt refreshing.

“The weather is nice today too. That’s good.”

The rain that had been falling all night had stopped, and the blue sky above the cleared sky was bright.

The cloudless, clean sky was as vivid as Michael’s eyes.

“Come to think of it, I think Michael appeared in my dream……”

Or maybe not…

Catherine tilted her head in confusion, then was about to ask Laura and Cindy who had returned, but shook her head instead. Since she’d thought of him, she wanted to meet him in person.

When they met again, would Michael’s attitude be different? Would he be embarrassed? Or would he smile more sweetly like he did in bed? Or would he be shy?

Just imagining what expression he would make lifted her spirits.

“Miss, I’ve brought the washing water.”

“Cindy! Send a servant to the Heimdall mansion right now. Tell him I want to see him.”

Even without saying who to tell, everyone knew.

Before Laura could even pour the milk tea, Cindy hurriedly left the room, unable to resist the impatient Miss’s insistence.

⁕⁕⁕

“What?”

“They say he’s not at the mansion? I left a message asking him to stop by when he returns.”

“I see. Is he very busy?”

Although Michael didn’t hold an important position at court, thanks to the trust of the Second Prince who had shared the same tutor, he was handling quite annoying work. It was about the nobles’ taxes, which they despised the most.

That work wasn’t always busy, but in spring and autumn when the royal family collected taxes, he was worked so hard that it was almost impossible to see his face.

However, at other times, he mostly handled affairs related to his own territory or attended nobility meetings.

And now it was close to late summer, not a busy time for Michael.

Although Catherine knew that he wasn’t busy and didn’t always stay at the mansion, she still felt deflated for some reason.

She felt greatly disappointed, as if they had just missed each other by a hair’s breadth, but she nodded her head forcefully.

“I see. Well, can’t be helped.”

He’ll come when he sees the message. Just like he always has.

Catherine suppressed her desire to get up immediately and go look for Michael, and drank the cold tea.

Somehow the tea tasted more bitter than usual.

[I’m sorry, Catherine.

I think I need to go to my territory right now, so I won’t be able to come see you. There was a fire at the farm, so I need to go there first. Are you feeling better? If anything feels wrong, please tell me immediately. From your Michael.]

But even after waiting all day, Catherine couldn’t meet him.

Instead of showing his face, saying he had urgent business in his territory, he sent a pure white handwritten note.

The scent of rose candy that came with the note was deeply embedded in Michael’s handwriting.

It was strange.

His handwriting was still neat, and the words written in the note were still affectionate, but the feeling was very, very strange.

Crunch—

Catherine put the rose candy he sent in her mouth and stared at the note for a long time. Michael’s smile and his voice that had heated her ears were vivid, but he felt too distant.