Chapter 1 – I’m Really Happy

Reincarnating with all the memories of my previous life is surprisingly sad. Even though my new life is filled with only happy memories, I have to give up a lot because of my previous life’s memories.

It’s as if the lessons of giving up and resignation from my past life cling to my soul and won’t let go. This pitiful personality of mine.

But who would have thought that this pathetic personality, which I always considered a flaw, would actually be beneficial in life? Thanks to remembering my past life, I gained a reputation as a kind and polite young lady who is grateful for even the smallest things.

When my father suddenly passed away and we were kicked out of the mansion, I was able to find a match quite easily.

And it was a truly magnificent match.

“Liv, could you run an errand for me?”

“Yes, Mother. What is it?”

“We made a fan from the lace samples we received from the workshop. Please deliver it to your mother.”

“Oh, thank you for preparing it.”

I approached my still graceful and beautiful mother-in-law with the utmost courtesy, receiving the gift box containing the fan. I felt so honored that I might as well have bowed to her. The beautiful mother-in-law, who was too shy to make eye contact, added in a small voice:

“It’s alright if you come back late. Just send my regards to the Countess.”

I love you, Mother. I actually decided to marry because I was so taken with you. You know my feelings, right?

I refrained from voicing my secret admiration and simply bowed my head and finished my greeting.

After my father’s death and with no male siblings, my mother and I were immediately kicked out of the mansion we had been living in. According to the primogeniture law, all my father’s titles, lands, and property went to my uncle, and the house he prepared for us was a small cottage in a quiet countryside. It was an old and isolated place with only a maid coming and going.

Naturally, my mother, who had been a countess her whole life as the daughter of a marquis, could not endure such a poor existence.

I did my best to take care of my mother as comfortably as possible. I woke up early to bake bread and brew tea so she could have breakfast in bed like before. I would lie in bed with her, play around like friends during breakfast, and help with the household chores.

For afternoon tea, I baked cookies myself and either transcribed documents or did embroidery to earn money.

It wasn’t as comfortable as life had been when my father was alive, but compared to the difficult life of my previous life, it was nothing. All I had to give up was a noble life. With the small amount of widow’s pension and the money I earned bit by bit, we could live without starving and still pay the maid’s wages.

But my mother seemed heartbroken by my willingness to forgo marriage and my refusal to shy away from hard work.

One day, when I returned home with a job, I found my mother in her oldest clothes, repeatedly asking a matchmaker for help.

“This is our daughter, Madame. Isn’t she lovely? This is Olivia. Please say hello. Madame Blanche.”

Madame Blanche was a well-known matchmaker from foreign nobility. I greeted her politely as my mother had instructed and saw her off before questioning her.

Running up to my mother’s room, I opened the wardrobe to find that all the valuable clothes had been given to the matchmaker as payment. The remaining clothes were the most worn and shabby ones that couldn’t even be sold. For the first time, I was angry with my mother.

“Why did you decide this without even asking me?”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I thought you wouldn’t agree…”

“Of course, I wouldn’t. What will you do after I get married?”

“I’m fine. It’s harder for me to see you living like this…”

I truly loved my mother. Because she loved me. I remember from my past life that not all mothers love their children equally. I wanted to repay her love as much as she had given me.

So, I decided to get married. Although many families were willing to accept me as their bride without a dowry, I was looking for a family that could also take care of my mother. The only family that met my condition was the Keppel family.

With the vast territory, power second only to the emperor, and the greatest wealth in the empire, it was only thanks to Adriana Keppel, my future mother-in-law, that I was able to marry into the Keppel family.

Perhaps she chose me because she knew her son would be marrying someone without a powerful background but with a reputation for being kind and modest.

Anyway, I am living my life trying to meet my mother-in-law’s expectations. I manage the estate in my husband’s place, who is too busy as a prime minister to handle it himself.

I also oversee internal affairs, handle the social activities of the Keppel family, and manage the busy embroidery workshop. My mother-in-law, who is indifferent to everything, still occasionally smiles at me, so I guess I’m doing alright.

Before I knew it, the Keppel carriage arrived in front of my mother’s townhouse. I got out of the carriage and greeted my mother’s butler.

“Good to see you, Brandon. Is Mother inside?”

“Yes, Duchess. She is waiting in the drawing room.”

“And how have you been, Brandon?”

“Thanks to your concern, I’m doing well.”

I greeted each of the employees who had come out to meet me. They were all selected from the Keppel family’s main estate and took great pride in serving high nobility.

Even though she was the mother of the Duchess, it was unlikely that they would be pleased to serve someone who was now just a Countess. So, I was grateful that they worked here without complaints. Following the butler’s guidance to the drawing room, my mother stood up when she saw me.

“Liv, you’re here?”

“Mother, how have you been?”

I hugged my mother with a bright smile.

“You look so pretty today.”

“You look beautiful too, Mother.”

I dressed up on purpose because I didn’t want Mother to think I was feeling down. Somehow, visiting my parents’ home feels more demanding than attending balls or hosting tea parties as a duchess.

“What excuse do you have today?”

“It’s an errand for Mother-in-law. She asked me to bring you a fan.”

I handed the box I brought directly to my mother. From the box wrapped in blue satin emerged an exquisitely crafted lace fan. Only the Keppel family would use such precious lace on a mere fan.

“It’s a precious gift. Be sure to thank her.”

In fact, both my mother and I knew that this fan was just an excuse to send me to my parents’ home. If a woman without children visits her family too often, people start gossiping about her marriage. Everyone knows my husband loves Her Majesty the Empress, the main heroine, but I’m just grateful my mother-in-law is considerate.

“But were you about to go out? You’re wearing gloves.”

“Uh? Oh, yes… I had something to do…”

“What is it?”

“Just…”

I felt a chill and grabbed my mother’s hand. Surprised, I took off her gloves and found blisters on her hands. They were burn marks. The excitement I felt thinking she might go out like she used to vanished.

“How did you get hurt?”

Mother’s maid, Cora, answered instead.

“I’m sorry, Duchess. I couldn’t stop Madam from taking the bread out of the oven…”

“Who can stop Mother when she sets her mind to something, Cora?”

“I could do it well. It was just a small mistake.”

It’s not that my mother lacks skill. When I first learned to bake bread, I got hurt several times. Did Mother feel this upset when I got hurt?

“Cora, please check outside.”

At my words, Cora quietly closed the drawing room door and drew the curtains. As the room dimmed, I held my mother’s hand and closed my eyes. As I recited a verse from the scripture, a small light emanated from my fingertips. After the light, no bigger than a candle flame, faded, my mother’s hand was healed.

“It would have healed soon anyway…”

“Mother.”

When I looked at her seriously, she stopped speaking and lowered her head. I held both her hands and knelt close. My mother was preparing herself to live alone, even if it meant returning to that cottage. I couldn’t allow that. I endure and persevere for her sake.

“Mother, I am happy.”

I held her trembling hands tightly and said.

“I am happy as I am. Mother-in-law treats me well, and I like the Keppel mansion. You will never return to that country cottage.”

I loved my mother very much, and I knew she loved me, but I couldn’t understand why she felt guilty because of me. Instead, I felt frustrated that she was preparing to become poor again.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, my dear.”

“There you go again. This is the life I chose. Why are you sorry?”

“I shouldn’t have sent you. I shouldn’t have sent you to such a place…”

“Mother. Please, don’t cry. I am happy.”

Mother started to cry out loud as if my words had triggered something. Even if she tried to hold it back, the suppressed sobs eventually burst from her throat. I hugged her tightly as she stifled her sobs with her hands.

“People will think I was sold off.”

I gently stroked her back and, out of habit, told a lie to persuade her.

“You know how much I love him.”

Ian Keppel.

In the novel “I’ll Leave Because I Love You,” which I read in my previous life, there is a second male lead who deeply loves the main heroine, and that’s my current husband.