“…I cannot entirely deny those words.”

Just like the two ducal houses that stood with the imperial family, House Bererian was that sort of existence to the Grand Ducal House as well.

Even if it meant remaining beside them in any position, so long as they were together.

“But I cannot take Mary as my mistress.”

“Your Highness.”

“Mary is my friend, and someone who has been with me since childhood. That is the reason.”

If she had been someone with no connection to him at all, perhaps it might have been different.

But Mary was not someone Rafez could treat carelessly, simply discard, or ignore.

“I cannot make someone like that my mistress.”

At Rafez’s firm words, the count was left speechless.

Just then, the carriage stopped, and Rafez spoke with his gaze still hard.

“Call Mary for me.”

* * *

Bookshelves that seemed to reach the high ceiling were packed tightly with books of various colors, without a single gap.

The moment she stepped inside, the scent of paper filled her nose.

“So this is what it was like.”

It was the Grand Ducal House’s library.

If one went up one more floor from the second floor, where the bedrooms and guest rooms were located, there was a firmly closed door. Lacy had never gone up to the third floor before, and though Siz had occasionally brought her books to read, she had not known where those books came from.

But even if this was the Grand Ducal House, to turn this entire spacious floor into a library…

“How do you usually clean this place? The ceiling is high, and there are so many books. It must be difficult.”

“There are maids assigned exclusively to clean it every day. Are you having trouble breathing because of the dust?”

“No. It’s because I don’t feel any dust.”

The Grand Duchess’s room she had moved into after leaving the guest room was far more spacious than before, but she was not used to it, so it felt uncomfortable.

And with Mollys and Glen taking turns staying near her in addition to Siz, watching over her—

In the end, she could not possibly sit still in her room and read, so she had come here.

“If that is so, then I am relieved.”

Had they judged that there would be no problem showing Lacy the library?

If that was what they had thought, then it was actually better for Lacy.

Reading was Lacy’s hobby, and she was someone who believed one could gain much from books.

Because of that, her eyes were shining at the sight of books piled up in a quantity that could not even be compared to the ducal family’s collection.

“Are all the old books His Late Majesty gave here as well?”

“Yes, that is correct. His Highness the Grand Duke told us not to throw them away, so they are shelved up there.”

During the reign of the previous emperor—back when Gloff, the current Emperor, had still been crown prince—construction had been carried out inside the palace, and the old books that had been piled up in the imperial library were bestowed upon Louis.

They were so old that many were in poor condition, and some were written in languages no longer used or in the languages of other countries, so most people treated them like trash. In other words, though it was called a “bestowal,” many saw it as simply disposing of garbage.

And yet, they had kept them instead of throwing them away.

“Do you mean the current Grand Duke?”

“That is correct.”

“His Highness must have still been young back then…”

“Yes, he was very young. But he insisted more strongly than anyone that books could not be thrown away. I can still see that day vividly.”

Mollys smiled as he recalled that time as well.

How brightly those blue eyes had shone.

Rafez was blunt and expressionless now, but there had once been a time when he was adorable too. The reason he had become the way he was now was likely due in part to his original nature, but also because of the reality he had been forced to face. That made Mollys feel sorry for him.

Of course, the Rafez of today had become someone more than capable of leading the Grand Ducal House.

“Then His Highness must have spent a great deal of time here.”

“No, unfortunately, that was not the case. He came here often only when he was young, but after he went to the academy, he could no longer do so. Even now, buried under work, he has probably forgotten this place even exists.”

Lacy had never seen Rafez as a child.

But the more she looked around the library, the more she kept imagining a blue-eyed child appearing from somewhere and running across this place, his eyes sparkling.

She had not wanted to know him.

She had not wanted to grow close to him.

She had not wanted to face him.

After all, what good could come from growing close to an enemy she would have to eliminate anyway?

People grew attached the more they came to know someone.

The closer they became, the more they wanted to reach out.

She knew that well.

Perhaps that was why she had considered it fortunate that he treated her coldly.

But now, she could no longer deny it.

She had to face him.

“I would like to look at the old books…”

“Ah, I will take them out for you.”

At Lacy’s words, Mollys called the servants and had them bring out the books.

They were old books, yet as expected, there was not a single speck of dust on them.

“Thank you.”

She had to acknowledge it now.

Rafez as a person.

And the fact that she could not push him away.

Yes. If, in the end, she had become his hostage, then she would do what she could here.

* * *

“Rafez!”

Rafez, who had been standing in the count’s backyard, looked up when he heard the voice from above.

Mary had opened the window and was waving at him.

“I’ll come down right away!”

Then she quickly disappeared.

Seeing Mary’s bright, innocent expression made him smile, but it also made his heart feel heavier.

Because if he could no longer maintain the relationship they had continued all this time without thinking much about it…

“You really came! It feels like it’s been so long since you came to our house. Why didn’t you come inside?”

Mary must have run down, because she quickly came out and stood before Rafez.

When she had gone to the Grand Ducal House, Rafez’s cold treatment had hurt her. But seeing that he had truly come to the count’s estate made that hurt seem to melt away like snow.

“No. I simply had something to say to you.”

“Something to say?”

At Rafez’s serious air, some of the smile faded from Mary’s face as well.

It was the first time Rafez had come to see her first because he had something to say.

“Yes. You came to see me that day because you had something to say too, didn’t you?”

Something to say.

It was not as though she had come without a purpose. After hearing about the matter of becoming his mistress, rather than waiting blindly, she had wanted to go confirm it herself and see Rafez.

I have so many things I want to say to you, but I can’t say them all.

Mary smiled again and said,

“I just wanted to see you. That was why I went. I was also worried about whether you were feeling better.”

Because I wanted to see you.

Do you know how much meaning is contained in those few words?

“…I see.”

Rafez answered only in a dry voice.

“But what was it you wanted to say? I’m curious, to think the great Grand Duke himself has something to say to me.”

“I wanted to know what you think. Now that I thought about it, no one had asked the person involved for her opinion.”

“About what?”

“About you entering as my mistress.”

At Rafez’s words, Mary felt as though her heart dropped with a thud.

Of course, the person most anxious to know how things were unfolding and what Rafez was thinking was Mary herself. But she had never expected to hear this subject brought up so directly from Rafez’s own mouth.

“You know about it too, don’t you?”

“Ah, yes… I do.”

“What do you think? Would you be all right becoming a mistress?”

She could not tell what Rafez was thinking.

But the answer she had to give here was already decided.

She could feel it.

The opportunity she had thought she had lost had come again, and now she had to seize it.

It was an opportunity that would never come again.

If she missed it again this time, even regretting it until the day she died would likely not be enough.

“What do you mean, would I be all right? Of course I would be! How could I refuse?”

“You can refuse. You could marry someone from another, even better family instead of becoming a mistress.”

Rafez was speaking realistically.

But Mary shook her head.

“Do you really think that is what I want?”

“Then what is it you want?”

“You.”

“…What?”

“To be with you. To be able to stay by your side. That is what I want.”

For the first time, she felt as though she had spoken her true feelings as they were, without lying.

She had always told him to get along with Lacy, to pay attention to her, to take care of her.

Each time she lied, one corner of her heart had ached.

So this was what it felt like to say the words she wanted to say.

How freeing.

“How about being honest? Is it difficult? Everyone already knows anyway.”

Suddenly, she remembered what Lacy had said in the Grand Ducal territory.

At the time, it had truly upset her.

But when she thought about it now, Lacy had been right.

Judging by how it felt as though something inside her had cleared open like this.

“Yes, we have been together for a long time. But becoming a mistress is a different matter.”

“I know that too. I understand what I’m saying, at least.”

Rafez was bewildered.

He had expected Mary to feel uncomfortable about becoming that sort of person to him too.

She was someone who had always stayed by his side as a friend.

From the time they were born until now.

“I like you, Rafez.”

Mary said it with a smile.

And Rafez could not understand those words.