***

Wondering whether to go to him was laughable.

Arthur’s quarters were right next to hers.

As usual, she parted the curtain door and slipped inside. The thick, pungent scent that permeated the space hit her in a wave.

Cigar smoke.

It was a familiar smell to Rosie. Before knowing him, she’d hated the smell of cigars so much she’d nearly have a fit if someone smoked near her. But strangely, when he smoked, it was fine.

No, if it was him smoking, she could even love it. She had loved even those fragments of him. There was a time for that.

His gaze, which had been staring vacantly into the air as he smoked, suddenly shifted and pinned itself on her, who had abruptly appeared. Hastily stubbing out his cigar, he hurriedly greeted her.

His eyes held a hint of surprise.

It wasn’t common for her to visit at this hour.

“Rosie?”

“……”

“What brings you here at this time?”

“I…”

His icy blue eyes stared through her. That gaze suffocated her.

Yet, the cuff buttons he had meticulously fastened even now, in the midst of that gaze, were ascetic and so splendid she couldn’t look away for a moment.

His handsome face, the splendid uniform that suited him as if it were part of him, the monstrous skill of a Sword Master that adorned him, and the immense backdrop of the Imperial family.

In contrast, all she had was her modest swordsmanship and the ambiguous half-noble, half-commoner bloodline.

“……”

Everything came into sharp, clear focus anew.

Yes, it was only natural that a man like him would not love her. That’s why he’d drawn the line, calling her a cherished knight, right?

‘He probably sees me as just… a partner. He wouldn’t be seeing me if he didn’t.’

What if.

‘If I say I’m pregnant, he’ll probably find it troublesome and tell me to get rid of it.’

Asking might be pointless in the end, but Rosie steeled her resolve anyway.

This was the last time. And only this once. What was there to fear?

“You look like you have something to say.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

Even after admitting it, she remained silent for a long while. Arthur spoke, sounding puzzled.

“You’re hesitating, unlike yourself. Do you have some trouble you can’t speak of?”

His voice, concerned yet detached, and his gaze, as if it bothered him, settled on her simultaneously.

Meeting his blue eyes, she felt a stabbing pain spread through one side of her chest. And she felt one more thing: good.

She liked him so much it was suffocating.

Enough to die for right now.

Enough to adore even this very gaze he was directing at her.

The problem was, it was a one-sided emotion.

“…Commander-in-Chief, Your Excellency.”

“……”

“I like you, Your Excellency.”

This was the method she chose.

She expressed her feelings honestly. Beating around the bush didn’t suit her temperament.

She was the one who had consented to the start of their relationship, the one who had continued this wrong relationship knowing it was wrong, brainwashing herself that it was fine and treating him calmly.

Because she liked him.

Even after hearing the answer ‘a knight I cherish and trust,’ she was willing to accept even this kind of relationship.

But she couldn’t bring herself to say this one thing. For fear that if her feelings were discovered, this ambiguous relationship would end immediately.

After her words, silence hung in the air for a while.

Arthur stared at her with surprised eyes, as if taken aback, then finally spoke.

His tone was awkward.

“Mm…”

“……”

“That’s a bit… sudden.”

His eyes showed reluctance. He looked around, avoiding her gaze, then let out a hollow laugh.

“Your timing is really something. Of all times…”

“Of all times?”

At his muttering, Rosie expressed her confusion. He laughed again.

His mouth was laughing, but his eyes were cool. It wasn’t a laugh of genuine pleasure. She realized—this was clearly a lament.

“Rosie, wait a moment. Your sense is really lacking.”

He let out a long sigh, then asked her in a tired tone.

“I’m sorry to ask, but… would you give me time to choose an answer?”

“Time…?”

“Yes.”

“……”

“Honestly, I’m so flustered I don’t know what to say.”

Flustered.

The meaning of that word was definitive.

“Ah.”

In that moment, Rosie understood.

The reluctance tangled in his gaze.

That reluctance wasn’t love for her.

It was the feeling of not wanting to lose something—meaning, he didn’t want to end this convenient relationship.

“…I understand.”

Rosie replied for now.

Of course, she didn’t truly ‘understand.’

She was naive, but she wasn’t stupid.

More than anything, wasn’t this why she came? To confirm. The confirmation was over; there was no more to see.

“Right. I’ll think about it a bit too…”

“But, Your Excellency.”

“……”

“Your Excellency, let’s stop sleeping together from now on.”

“…What?”

His gaze wavered for the first time.

Humans really are sensitive to loss, aren’t they?

Rosie thought. And she squeezed out the words. They vibrated in her vocal cords, but they hurt as if her heart itself were being wrung out.

“…It seems I’ve dared to voice an impudent thought.”

“You…”

He just stared at her with a look of incomprehension, as if observing something strange.

“Rosie, why are you suddenly acting like this?”

“I just wondered out loud. I suddenly got curious about how much value I have to Your Excellency. And honestly, doesn’t this relationship seem a bit strange? A subordinate and a superior sharing a bed.”

“That’s…”

“Anyway… I’m sorry for troubling you. I know my place now. I’ll go get some sleep.”

Having said that, Rosie turned to leave.

“Know your place? What place, Rosie?!”

“……”

She heard him trying to stop her, but Rosie didn’t turn back.

There was a time she would have gladly let herself be caught.

But in the end, no hand reached out to grasp her shoulder, and she understood.

A relationship that had only continued through her efforts, without the man’s active participation.

‘If he just lets me go… it ends.’

Just that much passion. That kind of relationship.

‘What was I… to him?’

Tossing the meaningless question to herself, she stepped outside.

***

Outside, not a single tear fell from Rosie’s eyes.

It was an outcome she had already anticipated, and she thought crying wouldn’t change anything anyway.

She just felt foolish for having even briefly hoped, a hollow laugh escaping her lips.

‘He doesn’t want a serious relationship with me, but he wants to sleep together. Exactly what my comrade said.’

In a word, a plaything.

The more she thought about her position, the more hopeless it seemed. Rosie wandered aimlessly along the same path, even though she knew it well.

After walking and walking, a familiar scene unfolded.

Past the camp of tents housing the soldiers, there was a temporary training ground.

It was just a barren yard closer to wasteland than worthy of the name ‘training ground,’ roughly set up with stakes hammered into the ground.

Anyway, various military drills were usually held here, but conversely, when there was no training, it was the perfect place to be alone, free from anyone’s interference.

On the way there.

Rosie tried hard to shake off her tangled feelings and thoughts.

‘It’s an outcome I already expected. Nothing surprising. I just need to focus on what I have to do and my plans from now on.’

She hadn’t expected anything anyway.

Because Arthur had always said to her, like a habit.

“Marriage, why do that? Humans all die anyway, and it’s not like anyone will die with you.”

“Are you… a bachelor by principle?”

“You could say that. Why, what about you?”

“Ah, me? I’m…” 

He said he was a bachelor by principle.

“I’m a bachelor by principle too, or something like that. How can anyone love just one person forever?”

Rosie had pretended to be the same.

“And why are you?”

“Well, it gets boring, doesn’t it? I hate tedious things. What about Your Excellency?”

“…I’m similar. Tedious things aren’t for me.”

One-sided love was like that.

The moment your feelings are discovered, the game is over.

So she had hidden them thoroughly until now, and today she confessed, only to have those feelings rejected.

It was sad, but one of the reasons she could still bear it was Arthur’s bachelor principle.

There would be no other woman in his life anyway.

The small comfort was thinking that he would have treated even another, more outstanding woman the same way, even if it wasn’t her.

Just then, she heard voices.

“Ah, really?”

“Yeah, that’s what they say.”

“Ah, no way.”

Footsteps approached—female voices.

Afraid of showing her broken state, she hid her body behind a large, old tree.

Suddenly, the voices drew closer, and the conversation became clear. Peeking out slightly, she saw it was female medics.

“Ugh, laundry is such a drag. Bloodstains won’t come out no matter how many times you wash them; how exactly are you supposed to clean this?”

“Tell me about it. Going down to the stream to do laundry in this cold winter, my hands will swell and crack. I’ll die.”

“Seriously. Hey, did you hear about that?”

It was trivial chatter. Rosie naturally tuned it out. It wasn’t anything she needed to know.

But that didn’t last long.

“Did you know someone from the Oferun family came the other day?”

Oferun?

“The Oferun Ducal family you mean? Seriously? Why all of a sudden?”

“Commander-in-Chief. I mean, Sir Arthur is of marriageable age now. It’s about time.”

Rosie, who had been listening idly, flinched in surprise for a moment.

Because of the name Arthur.

“It’s about marriage.”

And especially the word ‘marriage.’

Her surprise was brief; she swallowed a bitter laugh.

‘Anyway, that man is a bachelor by principle. The same man who said he couldn’t be a parent because even a baby’s cry irritates him—why would he marry?’

As she thought, the soldier listening also seemed incredulous.

“Huh, no way. The Oferun Ducal family is a huge powerhouse, right? It’s well-known that Sir Arthur is a bachelor by principle, and who’d want to invest power in a second prince who’s practically a castoff, not likely to start a succession war?”

“Mhm.”

“And… everyone knows he was basically exiled when he was posted here, right?”

“That’s true, but they say he’s in a situation where he has to marry.”

“Why?”

“The guard who received the Oferun delegation is my boyfriend. From what he overheard…”

The two voices, once high-pitched, suddenly grew calm. Lowering her voice considerably, the soldier whispered to her friend.

“They say the Oferun Ducal family and the Imperial family had a dispute over some rights. And they say if Sir Arthur just marries, he can leave this battlefield… They say he probably has no choice this time.”

And that voice reached Rosie behind the tree with perfect clarity.

Arthur’s marriage.

The blood in her body ran cold.