True to her reputation as the one who had set the whole capital buzzing with her elopement, Liv Astrid’s wedding was a modest affair. Modest, of course, by the standards one would apply to a family of the Astrid name. The ceremony was held in the garden of the Astrid estate, a garden so vast it rivaled half the size of the central plaza of the capital.

And yet that enormous space was filled to capacity with guests. Even having invited only close relatives and acquaintances, the numbers ran not merely into the dozens but into the hundreds, a figure beyond the imagination of any ordinary household. Even so, Lady Astrid sighed in front of me more than once, lamenting that the rushed preparations had made the wedding a shabby thing. The words that followed each sigh were always the same.

“The next wedding will be celebrated properly. In a manner befitting the Astrid name.”

Lady Astrid could hardly have been unaware that Danyu had recently begun coming and going from my home, so the remark was her own subtle way of pressing me to put forward a proposal for Danyu without delay. I understood her intention perfectly well, and yet I played the fool, saying I certainly hoped so, and pretended not to catch her meaning. Each time I did, Lady Astrid’s dissatisfied gaze would find me, but I had no desire to bring up a marriage proposal to Danyu just yet.

I knew well enough what life looked like for a married woman. I had watched classmates who once moved freely through the capital and gifted students full of talent change entirely the moment they wed. Even now, the capital did not welcome women in public life. For married women in particular, the standard was strict, and their work was in many cases confined entirely to the home and to raising children.

Danyu was a young musician who had only just entered university. She had won the Jubilion, and she was a musician whose name would endure in history. The thought of her being diminished by others for no reason other than being a married woman was something I could not bear. She needed more time to be free, and that was a value more important than my own selfish desire to bind her to me in whatever way I could.

“Why haven’t you asked Danyu to marry you?”

Liv Astrid was a somewhat more direct person than her mother. The moment she saw my face when I stopped by the bridal waiting room to offer my congratulations, she asked me that without preamble, and then, without waiting for my answer, launched into her own grievances.

“Our mother bent her pride and put forward a proposal to you not once but twice, which tells me she must think quite highly of you. And that is genuinely no small thing. You know how much I went through to get this wedding, don’t you?”

From the story of how she first met the man who was to be her husband, all the way to the account of how she had finally resolved to elope in the dead of night. The story went on at considerable length before it circled back to where it had begun.

“You may be from the Werner family, but you’re the second son, so you won’t be taking over the family business anyway. Wouldn’t becoming the Astrid family’s son-in-law actually work out rather well for you?”

I had been drifting along, half lost in her story, and gave a light shrug before I spoke. It was something I hadn’t been able to say to Lady Astrid, but I thought a young woman like Liv might actually understand the situation.

“There’s no need to rush things. Miss Danyu is still young and has a great deal ahead of her.”

But the answer that came back was nothing I had expected.

“What a frustrating thing to say.”

A long sigh escaped her lips.

“Listen, Werner. Do you really think Danyu cares about any of that? Don’t wait until it’s too late and end up regretting it. Catch her now. Young hearts change with the moment, and if you don’t make things certain, she’ll be off somewhere else before you know it.”

It was exactly the kind of thing you would expect from a woman who had run away for love. She reminded me of someone, and a smile came to me on its own.

“And did you make certain of your opportunity when it came, Miss Astrid?”

“Of course. Letting go and regretting it afterward is not in my nature.”

“So Miss Danyu grew up watching her sister and that’s where she gets that boldness of hers.”

“That’s a compliment, isn’t it?”

Liv lifted her chin with a haughty air and narrowed her eyes. The playfulness so unlike what you would expect from a daughter of a distinguished family finally drew a laugh out of me, and at that, a small laugh slipped from Liv’s lips as well. A maid standing nearby helping her fussed that her makeup would smear, but neither of us could stop laughing for quite some time.

“What’s so funny? They’re saying the ceremony is about to start.”

The door to the bridal waiting room opened and Danyu stepped in. She had been swept up greeting guests the moment she arrived, so this was actually the first time I had properly seen her at the wedding venue. Even from a distance, it was plain that Danyu had taken great care with her appearance. She was not the one being married, but as the bride’s younger sister and a host receiving guests, she must have begun preparing early in the day.

With every step Danyu took, her long n*de-toned dress rippled around her. Perhaps because the dress was so close to the color of her skin, for a moment I had the startling impression that she was standing there unclothed. Unable to look directly at her, I let my gaze wander elsewhere, and Danyu, who had drawn close to me by then, went quiet with a crestfallen expression. Her lips, redder than usual, caught my eye in particular.

“Why aren’t you looking at me? Is it that bad? I knew I should have worn the yellow dress.”

Danyu began anxiously looking herself over. I stopped her before she could go on sulking, and lightly pressed my lips to the back of her hand.

“You look beautiful. Truly.”

I followed it with a clear and unhesitating compliment, and the clouded look on Danyu’s face gave way to a bright, open smile. The pouring May sunlight, the warm air, Danyu’s smile. 

Everything felt distant and dreamlike. I gripped Danyu’s hand tightly, as though to confirm that the person before me was not a dream. Danyu’s eyes went wide with surprise, but I had no desire to let go of the satisfying warmth filling my hand.

“What do you two think you’re doing in front of me? The ceremony seems to be starting, so go find your seats.”

Liv, who had been watching us quietly, let out a short laugh and pushed us both toward the door. We had been standing there in a daze, and the force was stronger than either of us had anticipated, and we were pushed all the way out through the door. Caught off guard by how quickly it happened, Danyu and I looked at each other and burst into quiet laughter.

“My sister is incredibly strong, isn’t she? Even her husband can’t do a thing about it.”

Danyu grumbled with unmistakable affection as she started walking. The ceremony was about to begin, so we needed to get to the garden and find our seats before it was too late. I lengthened my stride and quickly fell into step beside her, and she glanced up at me and asked.

“What were you two talking about?”

“Nothing much. Just this and that.”

“Just this and that?”

It felt awkward to bring up the marriage proposal in front of her, so I held my tongue, and Danyu’s face fell. She had never been fond of this careful reticence of mine.

“There you go again. Why can’t you just say things plainly, Astaire? You make a person anxious. You seem exactly like someone who’s about to walk away and leave me behind.”

“How could I ever dare. As long as Miss Danyu doesn’t leave, I won’t be going anywhere.”

From where I stood, Danyu’s worries were entirely unnecessary. Just as I had said, as long as she did not leave first, there was nowhere I would ever go without her. But Danyu seemed to have no idea how large a place she occupied within me.

If you don’t say it, of course I won’t know.

Danyu always said that, but I thought it was better that she didn’t fully know the extent of my feelings.

She was the first and only person who had ever turned my world upside down. My feelings for her were so heavy and so fixed that no storm could move them from their place, but I could not impose my sense of her being my one and only onto her in return. I had no wish to burden her by laying all of my feelings bare. The one person who had turned Danyu’s world upside down was most likely not me.

“You already left once.”

Before my thoughts could go any further, Danyu said it bluntly. What she was referring to was clear. There had been only one time I had been absent from her side. A brief stretch of time before the Jubilion.

“That was…”

Knowing she would dislike it, I found myself hesitating again. To explain why I had left home and been absent from her side at that time, I would have to speak the name of a man I had no desire to bring up at this particular moment.

“See? There you go again.”

But one look at Danyu’s disappointed face, and that resolve quickly blurred. I hesitated for a moment longer, then slowly began to explain what had happened then.

“That was because of Sio. As the Jubilion drew closer, the problem with Sio’s hand had grown serious, and I had gone to find a capable physician. In the end, the medicine I obtained from that person had little effect.”

With each word I spoke, Danyu’s face grew more and more still. After the Jubilion, Sio had left the capital, and we had been deliberately avoiding the subject of him ever since. The matter of Sio’s hand in particular had become something close to forbidden ground between us.