Her manner of speaking was extraordinarily elegant and composed. It was a refinement that bore no comparison to the director’s manner, with all his desperate attempts to imitate the upper class. I found myself suddenly wondering where that remarkable refinement came from. 

If this elegance, which neither I nor the director possessed, was something passed down from birth, then I was destined to live out my days as a vulgar person.

“In any case, the performance that day left quite an impression.”

“Thank you.”

The memory of Lady Astrid’s cold expression as she listened to that performance came to mind, and I gave a blank nod, and a laugh escaped her lips. She seemed to have read my thought that she was merely being polite.

“If anything, I should be the one thanking you for a fine performance. I held my tongue that day because I didn’t want to lose ground to Mr. Manuel, but I was genuinely moved.”

She added the compliment once more and looked at me with steady eyes. There was no falsehood in that unwavering gaze.

“Mr. Manuel told me that Mr. Lieselotte would become a remarkable musician worthy of a place in history, and that if I supported such a musician, my name would be recorded in history as well, so why not give you my patronage. Well, it was nicely packaged, but in the end it was a request for money. It wasn’t a bad proposal, but unfortunately I have already cultivated more musicians than I can count. There are few young musicians in the capital who haven’t received my support. So I have no particular reason to take on the trouble of supporting Mr. Lieselotte.”

“I didn’t perform in hopes of patronage.”

Being turned down for something I hadn’t even wanted made my words come out blunt on their own. The reason I played the piano was to confirm that I had at least some right to exist in this world, not for money. As long as I could play the piano, even without money. If that could give me some certainty about my life, it didn’t matter how I got by. But Lady Astrid, hearing those words, gave a strangely knowing smile and winked.

“I’m sure that’s true for Mr. Lieselotte. But Mr. Manuel’s thinking was different. He seemed to believe you would bring in a great deal of money. He appeared to think that simply holding a recital would yield enormous profits, but he simply didn’t know this world well enough.”

Her words became a little more direct. She seemed to have realized I was not accustomed to roundabout speech.

“I’ve heard that despite your considerable talent, you haven’t managed to hold even a modest recital yet. That’s understandable. The music world is quite conservative, and it places great stock in one’s background. Gathering enough patronage to hold a concert must have been difficult as well. The people in these circles have tremendous pride, and they are very reluctant to support anyone with even the slightest blemish. Oh, saying blemish may have been rude. It’s simply how people in these circles think, so please don’t take it too much to heart.”

“Did you request this meeting in order to impress that reality upon me? To tell me to give up on music?”

“I have no interest in despairing other people. If that were my intention, I would not have come to find Mr. Lieselotte.”

She was clearly saying something, yet it was difficult to grasp what she truly meant. Was this how people of the upper class always spoke? My brow furrowed more and more with the confusion, and an amused smile rose on Lady Astrid’s face across from me.

“I need you to become my daughter’s piano teacher. She’s eleven years old this year, and she’s an obedient child, so it shouldn’t be too difficult.”

It was a remarkably trivial matter to raise after explaining the formidable hierarchy of the music world, but her face as she said it was serious. I tilted my head, feeling somewhat bewildered.

“At eleven, she’s too old to begin serious study, and still a little young to start as a hobby.”

“That’s certainly true. But I’m not particularly hoping for her to learn the piano in any formal sense, so it doesn’t matter. Just spend time with her and keep her in good spirits. Saying it this way makes it sound like I’m asking you to be a nanny, which is a bit amusing, but that really is all I want. Well, if some unexpected talent is discovered along the way, all the better.”

If it wasn’t to raise the child as a pianist, then why look for a piano teacher at all. It would have made more sense to simply find a nanny, as she herself said.

But there was no time to resolve the question, because her words continued without pause.

“It wouldn’t do for the person teaching a young lady of the Astrid family to be unremarkable, so a grand debut recital should come first. I’m not pleased with this orphanage either. I’ll find you a place to live on your own in the capital. So live there. I’ve already seen to it, but it would be best to cut ties with Mr. Manuel personally as well. Getting entangled with that man makes everything tiresome. I also don’t like him inserting himself and making demands about the profits.”

Every time she mentioned the director’s name, Lady Astrid’s face creased with distaste. That director would have played the part of a courteous gentleman while throwing himself at any chance for personal gain, so there was no need to ask why. The frustration it had caused her was evident enough that she even took a sip of the tea she had pushed aside and not touched again. Though of course, once it went down her throat, her expression twisted again.

“The profits from the first recital are all mine. There tends to be a great deal of expense involved in a first performance. From the second onward, I’ll take thirty percent. It’s not a common arrangement in the usual patronage contract, but I’ll maintain these terms until the day my daughter tires of learning piano from you. Oh, you’re welcome to take on other students if you like. Once you leave the orphanage, you’ll need a steady income beyond recitals.”

When she finished speaking, Lady Astrid held out a brown envelope she had been carrying since she first stepped into the orphanage. I stared blankly at the papers whose nature I couldn’t yet determine, and a smile had settled on her face, her composure fully restored.

“This is the contract with those terms. There shouldn’t be anything particularly disadvantageous to Mr. Lieselotte. Oh, there is a clause stating that the termination of the patronage contract is entirely at our discretion, but that’s quite standard in patronage contracts, so let’s move past it.”

I slowly opened the envelope and read through the contents of the contract. I had no education to speak of and knew little about the law, but I was not so illiterate that I couldn’t read. What the contract, filled with difficult and unfamiliar language, was saying was simple. 

The director, who had been my guardian, had accepted a large sum of money and entered into a patronage contract between the Astrid family and me. When I counted the figures of the amount the director had received, it was enough to build a new orphanage from the ground up.

Rather than anger, a laugh came out. Once my birthday passed and I became a legal adult in full, the director would lose his status as my guardian. So before losing that status, he had moved quickly to secure a deal that would benefit him. Treating me like an object all the while. It was thoroughly in keeping with his character.

“You said there was no need to take on the trouble.”

Still, Lady Astrid’s decision puzzled me, given that she had said she had no reason to go to the trouble. She was clearly sharp enough to see through the director’s intentions, and there had been no need for her to go along with his clumsy dealings. At my question, she laughed as though she found it entertaining.

“In terms of what makes sense, yes. But what can I do when my daughter insists she must learn piano from you specifically.”

Her daughter again. She quickly added an explanation as I furrowed my brow in incomprehension.

“I heard you met Danyu at the salon on the day you came with Mr. Manuel. Oh, the child’s name is Danyu. It comes from the Danube River. When I was expecting her, I went on a boat trip along the Danube, and the river flowing straight ahead without obstruction was so beautiful. I named her with the hope that the child to be born would grow up the same way. I’m so proud of how magnificently she’s grown, just like her name.”

A warm smile played on her lips as she continued. It was a completely different smile from the obligatory expression she had worn while discussing the contract.

“She almost never digs her heels in about anything, but on this matter she was immovable. Mr. Lieselotte seems to have made quite an impression on her. Well, I suppose anyone would feel that way after hearing that music.”

Pressing a large sum of money on someone she had no wish to be involved with, and wading into a matter she had no need to involve herself in, going to all that trouble. The reason being nothing more than a single word from her daughter. Something about that left me feeling strangely vacant.

There are people for whom simply confirming their own existence is all they can manage, and there are people for whom the whole world moves to grant their wishes. Feeling that stark distance in my bones, something felt hollow beneath my feet. It was a strange sensation, like falling from a great height.