155. The Secret She Had Been Hiding (2)

“What Your Majesty… should know first about me is that I have deceived you.”

“Larael…”

Edward was taken aback by Larael’s words and could only sigh her name. Larael gazed at his wavering eyes with a complicated expression before lowering her head again.

If Larael knew how many thoughts raced through Edward’s mind in that brief moment before she spoke again, she would be shocked. Countless thoughts were scattered in his mind.

“You may find it hard to believe this, but please believe what I’m about to say. I have already lived a life as the Empress Consort of the Kazel Empire.”

“…”

Edward frowned at Larael’s words. He couldn’t understand what she was saying at all.

“You probably don’t understand, right? Even I had difficulty accepting the fact that I had traveled back in time. I’ve already lived a life as Your Majesty’s Empress Consort. Of course, it was very different from now. I was caught in a vicious plot, and foolishly, I didn’t know it was a lie then. I resented, hated, and despised Your Majesty.”

“Larael… stop.”

Edward growled in a low voice. It was difficult for him to listen to her story. But Larael paid no attention to Edward’s words and opened her mouth again.

“You said you had a dream, right? In truth, when I heard the content of that dream, I wanted to hide and run away. Because it was also my past.”

After saying that much, Larael bowed her head deeply and bit her lip tightly. Edward was silent. Larael couldn’t bear to look at him.

“Larael, go back to the palace and rest. You must be tired now…”

“Your Majesty, please listen. I was deceived by Grand Duke Vellaus and thought of Your Majesty as my lifelong enemy. Believing that Your Majesty had violated me, I spent my life resenting and hating you, focusing on tarnishing your reputation. And…”

Larael stopped as she was about to talk about Ian. She couldn’t bring herself to speak about Ian. Just thinking of him made her heart ache and throb. Larael bit her lower lip firmly and waited for this storm of emotions toward Ian to pass.

“…and eventually, I tried to poison Your Majesty. What you saw in your dream wasn’t just a dream. It actually happened. After Your Majesty’s death, Grand Duke Vellaus ascended to the throne, and I realized that everything was his plot. I was foolish, and it eventually led me to my death. Those memories are vivid, but… somehow I returned to the day I slept with Your Majesty. Don’t you remember how unusually calm I was that morning?”

Larael squeezed her eyes shut. She felt disgusted with herself. She couldn’t possibly tell Edward how pathetically she had clung to Vellaus when he ascended to the throne, and what humiliating treatment she had received.

“I… I don’t understand what you’re saying. Larael, this is too complicated for me right now…”

“I am living a life I have already lived once. Do I deserve to stay by Your Majesty’s side?”

Edward gripped Larael’s shoulders tightly. Larael couldn’t open her closed eyes. Edward’s hands on her shoulders tightened.

“Larael.”

Edward called her name in a low, strained voice. But when Larael kept her eyes closed and wouldn’t look at him, he called her name again, almost pleadingly.

“Larael.”

His voice was so desperate that Larael slowly opened her eyes. The moment she saw Edward’s sorrowful gaze, her vision blurred. She became disgusted with her very existence. She felt intense self-loathing for making Edward look at her that way.

“Look at me. That was a dream. An illusion.”

“No. It’s neither an illusion nor a dream. It’s my past that my entire body remembers. One reason I couldn’t leave Your Majesty’s side was also because of my guilt toward you.”

“Larael, no.”

Edward embraced her tightly with the hands that had been gripping her shoulders. Larael closed her eyes again. The tears that had blurred her vision flowed down her cheeks. Now that she had spoken out loud, even though she hadn’t laid out every detail, her sin felt too great. How could she have thought Edward would forgive her?

“Larael, I shouldn’t have told you about my dream. Yes, it was my fault. I shouldn’t have mentioned such things…”

“Your Majesty, it was me. I did those things.”

Larael’s legs gave way. Even though Edward was gripping her shoulders tightly, she slid down to the floor. Tears flowed ceaselessly from her eyes.

Edward looked down at Larael who had slipped from his hands and repeatedly ran his hands over his face. His chest felt tight and he thought he might go mad. Suddenly, he felt the urge to flee from this place. This whole situation felt unreal. Everything up until recently, when he had been smiling face to face with Larael, felt like a dream. As her sobbing grew louder, his chest tightened and a dull pain arose.

Everything from the moment he first met Larael until now flashed through his mind. Though he didn’t want to admit it, after hearing her words, there were parts that made sense.

‘Why can’t I lift her up? Why can’t I say it’s not true anymore? What about my promise to be her power?’

Endless questions tangled with her story, tormenting Edward.

At that moment, he recalled the ecstasy he felt when he regained consciousness and saw Larael again. That feeling that had made his entire body tremble—she was Edward’s goal itself. That couldn’t change now.

‘What was I hesitating about?’

Even his momentary hesitation must have hurt Larael. Thinking about that made his chest hurt as if it were being scratched by something sharp.

“Larael.”

Edward knelt before her and carefully embraced her. He called that precious name again. His emotions swirled and poured out.

Larael looked at Edward with reddened eyes.

“I thought I wouldn’t be forgiven, but hiding it from Your Majesty was too difficult.”

“Larael, look at me.”

Edward held her face in both hands.

“…”

“Larael, alright. I’ll believe everything you say. I can believe it all. Fine, I’ll believe it. But nothing changes because of that. Don’t you love me?”

“…No. I love you. Without Your Majesty, I am nothing.”

Larael said, sobbing. Her glistening red eyes sparkled even more when she spoke of her love to Edward.

“Just think about that. Understand?”

“…Yes.”

Edward embraced her tightly. Edward’s touch gently caressed Larael. That made her feel even more sorrowful. She felt so guilty that even feeling his touch like this was unbearably regretful.

Larael, held in Edward’s arms, could only stop crying after shedding tears for a long time. When she stopped crying, Edward, who had been comforting her silently, released his arms from around her and gently lifted her chin.

Edward carefully wiped away the tears staining her swollen, reddened eyes, and with his own reddened eyes, he sniffled.

“Have you finished crying now? Do you want to go to the bedroom and rest?”

“…”

Larael shook her head.

She knew well that even though she had confessed to Edward, their emotions weren’t completely settled yet. No matter how much he said they should focus only on the present, she knew that was impossible. Both Edward and Larael needed time.

“Your Majesty, I will return to my palace.”

Larael said weakly, lowering her gaze.

“Yes, if that makes you comfortable, do that.”

Edward helped Larael to her feet. Then he called in her ladies-in-waiting who were waiting outside the reception room. Both Edward and Larael looked terrible. The ladies-in-waiting who entered took Larael and left the reception room.

Edward followed behind Larael and met Joy’s gaze, who was looking at him. Joy was glaring at Edward with a very displeased expression, but when their eyes met, he was startled and bowed his head deeply. Somehow, his eyes also seemed to be reddened. He bowed to Edward and then followed behind Larael with the other escort knights.