Chapter 5

She had believed that to Leonid, women were nothing more than possessions. Even if his attachment ran deep, he showed no interest whatsoever in something once it had served its purpose.

That was the extent of a possession’s worth to him, and she had been certain she was no different.

A dead woman could have no use left in her, so he would turn away without a second thought.

And yet. Why……

Why, at the death of someone who had been nothing but a possession, had he lived as though he had given up on everything. Why had he acted as though he wanted to die quickly.

“As if he had loved me.”

Nowhere in the book did it say he had loved her. No, perhaps Leonid himself had never known. He was a man who had never once received whole, unbroken love.

How could a man whose life had been stained with *buse and blood have known what that was.

“……Leonid.”

Even speaking his name aloud was agony, like her heart being wrung. The thought of him having had to live that kind of life was almost more than she could bear.

And right now he was……

“Living through that hell.”

Since she had turned back time and returned to being nineteen, he would be the same age as her now.

That thought made her breath catch.

Leonid’s ruin had been entirely his own choice. It had looked as though he had deliberately chosen that path. But the one who had led him to that end was……

‘If I hadn’t died. Leonid wouldn’t have met such a wretched end.’

As though punishing himself, after Ellen’s death Leonid had raced headlong toward his own destruction without hesitation.

In the end, their relationship had brought ruin to them both. From the very beginning, they had only ever crossed each other’s paths and torn each other apart.

And beyond that……

Having read the final pages of the book, Ellen set it down with trembling hands.

After Leonid’s death, a blood-soaked struggle for the throne erupted. The Cavern Empire, already crumbling, met its end.

The Empire, torn into five pieces, was drawn into endless war with the surrounding kingdoms, and the entire world plunged toward catastrophe. That was the book’s final line.

“How could this……”

Ellen pressed down on her heart, which refused to settle.

She couldn’t accept Leonid’s death in the book as it was, and now the entire world was to be dragged into a catastrophic, irreversible war.

“……No.”

She wanted to set it right, if she could at all. Her own wretched life. And……

She pushed her shaking body upright. Then, with the resolve of someone who had made up her mind, she gripped the book tightly and raised it toward the ceiling. Ellen called out as though Deriel were standing right in front of her.

“You’re watching, aren’t you. That’s what you gave me this book for, isn’t it. To see my reaction.”

“Hardly. As I said before, it’s simply the interest on the life debt I owed you.”

“You call this interest? Showing me Leonid’s and the Empire’s ruin?”

“I showed you everything about him that you always wanted to know. You were always wondering about it, from the moment you entered the harem.”

Deriel appeared and snapped his fingers in the air. The sound of the outside world was cut off.

“Yes, I was. Because I loved him. But I won’t anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not going to love Leonid in this life. We were a terrible poison to each other. We destroyed each other completely.”

“You mean you won’t enter Leonid’s harem.”

“That’s right. I’m going to find a way to avoid it. And.”

Ellen’s eyes lit up with quiet, steely resolve.

“I’m going to set the broken reality right.”

“Are you speaking of your own situation?”

“Of course. And Leonid too……”

The lips that spoke his name trembled almost imperceptibly.

Was it because of the ending in the book? Even the thought of Leonid sent a sharp pain through her chest, like a blade cutting through.

Ellen bit down on her lips hard enough to cut off the blood.

“Didn’t you just say you wouldn’t love him? So why would you change Leonid’s reality?”

“That and this are separate things. Even if I’ve come back to the past, the reality of him seizing the blood-soaked throne won’t change.”

“That’s true. That has nothing to do with whether you enter the harem.”

“Then the ruin of him and the Empire might be an unchangeable future as well. Leonid could have gone out of control at any moment. In my previous life, I was simply the spark that set it off.”

“That’s true. He could have exploded at any time.”

“Yes. Which means even without me specifically…… that possibility was always open. And that means this world could face catastrophe at any moment.”

Even having resolved not to love him. Her heart ached for Leonid’s reality.

He would be suffering in that hell without even knowing the oracle had been fabricated, innocent of any wrongdoing……

“So? You’re not going to enter the harem, you’re not going to love him, so how do you intend to help him? Wouldn’t anything require going to Leonid’s side?”

“That’s……”

Ellen fell into thought at Deriel’s question. Then, with an expression of settled resolve, she parted her lips.

“I’m going to the imperial palace.”

“Didn’t you just say you wouldn’t enter the harem?”

“I said I was going to the imperial palace. I didn’t say I was going to him.”

“Is that possible?”

“Yes.”

Ellen thought back to what she had read in the book, alongside her memories of Leonid in the harem. She had been brought to his bed every single day, so there were few people who understood Leonid’s patterns of behavior as well as she did.

So it would be possible. No, it had to be.

“Even so. After everything you went through, to go back to the imperial palace…… well, if the world falls apart, it’ll become a worse hell than that place, so it’s not the absolute worst choice. It’s just completely insane.”

“So help me a little.”

“What? Why would I? I’ve already paid back the life debt and the interest in full.”

“That may be, but it isn’t fair.”

Ellen opened her mouth with a tense heart. She had to persuade Deriel right now.

“You recovered after receiving my energy and became king of the spirits. But I, your life’s savior, ended up being dragged back to this house because of you.”

“I didn’t abandon you. I handed you over to the maid who came looking for you.”

“That’s the same thing. No, that’s worse. If you had known why I left this house, you never would have done something like that.”

“But.”

For the first time since meeting her, Deriel looked genuinely uncomfortable. Ellen didn’t miss the moment.

Everything in her plan depended on getting out of this house first. For that, she desperately needed someone’s help. The only one in her current situation who could offer it was Deriel.

“At the time, there was nothing to be done. The law of my world only allowed me to repay with something equal to what I received, and above all, I needed to win the succession struggle and become king before I could properly use my abilities.”

“Mm, so in other words, you repay in kind. The interest on the life debt isn’t repaid with a life directly, so you gave something equivalent in its place.”

“That’s right.”

“So then.”

Ellen’s eyes lit up at Deriel’s answer.

“What do you mean?”

He looked at her with an expression that said he didn’t follow.

“Then repay me. Because of you, in my previous life, I was brought back to this house and had to live a wretched existence.”

“I don’t think things would have been much different even if you had left.”

“We don’t know that. There’s no telling what might have happened if I had left.”

Deriel’s brow twitched. Ellen’s words weren’t entirely wrong.

Unlike himself, who had survived thanks to Ellen and gone on to become king, the life of the very person who had saved him had been miserable.

She didn’t miss the opening and held her hand out to Deriel.

“So help me.”

“Hmm……”

Deriel bit down on his lip and sank into thought. Ellen gripped the worn hem of her dress and spoke with quiet urgency.

“I’m not asking for anything grand. Just help me with one thing involving Duke Shurn.”

“Duke Shurn? That old man?”

“Yes. This time I won’t let my father have his way like I did in my last life. I know the duke’s future.”

“That’s true.”

Watching Deriel’s hesitant expression, Ellen pressed on with all the earnestness she had.

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

Deep in the night, when moonlight lay thick across the dark.

Far within the imperial palace, a handsome young man slowly opened his eyes. Eyes deeper than blood emerged from the darkness.

“The same dream again.”

A dream in which a woman appeared as a hazy silhouette. A woman whose face he couldn’t even make out, and yet he missed her so desperately……

He gripped his own chest. Every time she came to mind, the ache there was unbearable.

“What am I doing, pining over a woman I don’t even know.”

A woman who didn’t even exist in reality. If she were a real person, she couldn’t possibly appear only as a faint outline when he longed for her so intensely in his dreams.

“No, the truth is……”

Long fingers reached out into the empty air. As though she were right there before him.

After a long while of searching, his fingertips fell back to the bed.

He curved his lips into a faint, bitter smile and gripped the bed sheet tightly. Then he turned his head and looked out the window.

His gaze, fixed on one point, was swallowed by the deep, dim light. Just like that day.