I Grant You Permission for Revenge

Chapter 91: I’m Allowing It

Clive’s face showed no expression.

His cold, downcast eyes looked at Eirene, but they were completely empty inside.

“That day.”

The words spilled from Clive’s mouth without hesitation.

That day was when Eirene’s family had died.

“The first person I killed was your father. Next was…”

“Why are you telling me this story? I already know you killed my family, so you don’t need to give me every detail.”

“No. Listen to the end.”

“Next was your mother.”

“I said stop!”

Clive’s voice retracing that day’s events sounded even more cruel. Eirene felt her chest tighten and couldn’t breathe, like she was right there in that place. She couldn’t understand why he had to say each thing one by one.

The words coming out emotionlessly and matter-of-factly made her feel like she might go insane.

When she first saw Clive, she thought he had dead, ashen eyes. She mistook him for the grim reaper. But it wasn’t a mistake. She had been remembering his eyes from when she was young.

If she was going to remember, she should have remembered completely – what kind of revenge could she accomplish with incomplete, half-baked memories?

Did God know this day would come?

Was that why He told her not to seek revenge?

If she hadn’t dreamed of revenge, she never would have become entangled with Clive, who killed her family.

“Sparing you was just my last bit of conscience. If you hadn’t been a child but my age instead, I would have killed you immediately.”

“…”

“They all died without even making a sound.”

“Clive!”

“At least they didn’t die in agony.”

Eirene stood up from her seat and grabbed the dagger on the table.

The dagger that had been heading straight for Clive’s chest stopped against his clothes.

Her hands trembled violently.

“How… how can you say ‘at least’? How can you say ‘at least’ about people who died without even being able to let out a small scream?”

Tears welled up in Eirene’s eyes.

She hadn’t shed tears since learning that Clive was the one who had stabbed her family.

Even while thinking she should judge coldly, perhaps because she didn’t want to believe it, it hadn’t felt real.

It felt distant, like something that happened in a dream, but now, after hearing his words, her chest ached like it was being twisted.

“Eirene. Even if I went back to that day, I would make the same choice. The choice to kill all of your family.”

She needed to put strength in her hand and make the blade pierce Clive’s chest.

Eirene hated herself to death for not being able to do it. The whites of his eyes gradually reddened, but his pupils didn’t waver and only looked at Eirene.

Clive knew Eirene would be confused. It was natural. He wanted to comfort her heart that wanted to kill but couldn’t. And it was also for himself.

That incident from the past had always been a burden on his heart. Sometimes he would forget and live normally, but it would suddenly come to mind – a burden that could never be erased until death.

Because of Eirene, he had even escaped from the insomnia that started back then.

How dare he. Through her, of all people.

How foolish he had been to commit that sin and then dream of a future with someone.

“I didn’t hesitate even a little when k*lling your family.”

“…”

“So don’t hesitate either.”

“…”

“Stab me.”

It’s okay.

I’m giving you permission.

Tears flowed down both of Eirene’s cheeks. Even though her hands were trembling, her eyes were firm. Eirene took a short breath and tried to put in more strength.

She bit her lower lip. She tried again but eventually hung her head.

“Leave.”

Clive couldn’t even part his lips to call her name because he felt sorry.

“I’ll leave here tomorrow.”

Hearing Eirene’s calm announcement that she was leaving, Clive finally felt pain in his chest.

* * *

Eirene stared at the tip of the fallen dagger. Clive’s blood was clearly visible on the blade’s edge.

The blood that flowed from his chest had also stained the sofa. She couldn’t drive the dagger deep. Countless thoughts tangled in her head, but her heart held only one feeling.

She couldn’t kill Clive.

Even though she resented and hated him, she couldn’t do it.

The moment she stabbed, when the sensation of piercing through flesh reached her hand, her first thought was that it would hurt him.

“I’m crazy.”

Eirene covered both her eyes.

“I’ve gone crazy.”

A crazy woman blinded by a man. All she managed to do was stab him a little and stop.

If she couldn’t kill him, she should have cut him down with words.

Don’t you know well what kind of life I lived because of you?

Go before the empire’s citizens and reveal everything you did, and receive punishment from them.

If you can’t do that, just go out and die alone.

She couldn’t say any of those words. All she managed to say was that she would leave. But…

Why did her chest feel like it was tearing apart? Why were these tears falling?

She buried her face in both hands and burst into the tears she had been holding back.

* * *

“Are you alright?”

When Clive entered the main palace, Ulik, who had been waiting, approached.

Since he had expected this, he wasn’t surprised to see the blood staining Clive’s chest.

When he brought a handkerchief to stop the bleeding, Clive pushed it away with his hand.

“It’s not serious enough to need bandaging.”

Ulik had expected this too.

At dawn, he had heard in detail from Clive about what happened with Eirene.

He had told him in advance so that even if Clive died or was seriously injured by her hand, it could pass like nothing had happened.

Ulik thought Clive was making unnecessary preparations when nothing would happen.

Don’t you know Lady Eirene that well?

Someone who had always been expressionless began to smile because of Clive. It was obvious what feelings she had for her fiancé.

How could such a person kill Clive?

“She says she’s leaving.”

Clive casually dropped these words while undressing in the bedroom.

“Who? The lady?”

“Yes. She says she’ll leave here.”

Clive’s movements paused briefly, but he finished undressing.

Despite saying he didn’t need bandaging, blood still flowed from the exposed wound.

When Ulik offered the handkerchief, Clive pressed it directly against the wound. The pale blue handkerchief quickly turned red.

“Shouldn’t you show this to a doctor?”

“It’ll stop soon. What’s a little blood?”

Sadness was buried in the quietly heard muttering.

Why hadn’t he anticipated that? Ulik shook his head.

It was natural, in a way, for Eirene to leave this place, from Clive’s side, after learning everything.

“You told the lady not to go, right? You stopped her?”

“Get out.”

“Your Grace.”

“I said get out.”

Rough breathing could be heard in the low, sunken voice.

After Ulik left, Clive threw the blood-soaked handkerchief to the floor.

He knew Eirene wasn’t someone who could kill him directly.

Still, he had hoped she would stab him enough to kill, right up to the brink of death.

If he went to death’s threshold and struggled on the verge of dying, she wouldn’t leave for a while.

Selfish b*stard. He wanted to hold onto her even in such a cowardly way, but it was all wrong.

A life without Eirene was the cruelest punishment for Clive.

* * *

After crying for a long time, Eirene sat there for hours and stayed awake all night until dawn. She didn’t know what lingering attachment kept her there until morning. But she couldn’t delay any longer and decided to leave.

She looked around the interior of the annex one last time. There was nothing to take. Everything was for Eirene, but nothing belonged to Eirene.

She couldn’t even take the memories made here. She didn’t know where to go.

“It’ll work out somehow.”

Thinking she could at least take the one outfit she was wearing, she opened the door.

Zeus came running from not far away.

How long had it been since they were apart? Sticking out her pink tongue, she ran straight over and licked Eirene’s face.

When told to stop, she immediately sat and listened well, wagging her tail asking for praise.

“You’ll have to come with me.”

Among everything here, Zeus was the only thing Eirene had brought herself.

“You’re leaving?”

Betty, who came late, asked.

Eirene wondered if Betty should come with her too, but for her, who valued money, this place was perfect.

“You have to work hard, Betty. Take care.”

“Miss, why are you talking like you’re going far away?”

Having no words to answer, only a bitter smile came out.

Still, since Betty had come because of Eirene, she felt she should give at least some explanation and was choosing appropriate words.

“Crown Prince!”

Looking toward the sound, she saw Florian running anxiously with a servant following behind.

“Your Highness, you mustn’t run!”

Despite the servant’s words, Florian paid no attention and ran all the way, breathing heavily.

“Huff, huff. Lady, I need to, need to talk with you…”

“Catch your breath first. You don’t look well.”

“Talk, talk first…”

“Come inside.”

Florian showed his hand to the servant trying to support him, telling him not to come in.

Eirene helped him sit on the sofa. Trying to reassure him as he hurried to speak about something urgent, she brought a glass of water.

After waiting for Florian to calm down, when she offered the cup, he hesitantly accepted it and took a very small sip.

“I’m sorry, Lady.”

“What do you mean?”

“That incident was because of me.”

“Pardon?”

“Brother had no choice but to do that because of me. If it weren’t for me, that incident wouldn’t have happened.”

Florian also knew about what happened between Clive and Eirene. She didn’t know how he came to know about it, but she could picture Florian suffering with all kinds of thoughts while running here.

She had never thought it was Florian’s fault.

“Your Highness was a kidnapped child. You’re a victim of that incident, so you don’t need to do this.”

“I can’t exactly be called a victim.”

What did he mean by saying he couldn’t be called a victim?

“My mother and Sebastian planned and carried out that incident… Of course, I didn’t know at the time. I only found out recently, but still, since Mother did it because she wanted me to become Crown Prince… anyway, since my mother did it, it’s like I did it…”

Even though he was rambling, she understood.

The Empress had also participated in Sebastian’s scheme. If even one of them hadn’t been excessively greedy, that day’s tragedy wouldn’t have happened.

Sebastian, who coveted divine power. Count Phineas, who coveted money. The Empress, who coveted the Crown Prince position. And those who envied Eirene’s father’s talent.

How good it would have been if just one of them had thought normally. Knowing it was a futile thought, she still kept wanting to turn back time.

“I understand what Your Highness is saying. But…”

Seeing no possibility of Eirene’s heart changing, Florian came down from the sofa and knelt.

“Brother gave up many things because of me.”

“Your Highness, please don’t do this.”

Eirene also came down from the sofa and tried to help Florian stand up.

“There can’t be another incident where Brother gives up something because of me.”

Large teardrops fell from Florian’s clear eyes.

“Lady Phineas. If it’s what you want, I’ll do anything for you. Just say anything.”

His desperate voice showed what state of mind Florian was in while kneeling.

“Please forgive Brother. It’s all my fault.”

“It’s not Your Highness’s fault. I know it’s not Clive’s fault either.”