#19. Trust

Karina stared at the imperial physician sitting across from her. His eyes wandered here and there, seemingly uncomfortable under her gaze.

“I don’t understand.”

The physician tried to meet Karina’s calm and elegant voice with his gaze. But he couldn’t hold it for even a few seconds and dropped his eyes to the floor again.

“It’s about my body, yet you can’t answer me.”

Just before, Karina had asked him why she had collapsed. Even Bernice, her closest confidant, didn’t know the reason, and only Aidan had heard it, but unfortunately, she couldn’t have a proper conversation with him. So now she had no choice but to ask the physician. He was also the person who could give the most definitive answer.

“As I mentioned earlier, you’ll be fine now. You just need to consistently take the medicine I prescribed morning and evening.”

“You say I’ll be fine but I need to keep taking medicine?”

When she caught his words, the physician let out a groan, apparently realizing his mistake.

“That sounds like I’m not in perfect condition yet.”

Unable to refute Karina’s words, the physician bowed his head even lower.

“A physician who won’t accurately convey the patient’s condition to the patient themselves…”

The physician’s face hardened as she deliberately sighed while speaking.

“Well, it doesn’t matter. I can just call for another physician.”

Thinking there was no need to press further if he didn’t want to answer honestly, she stood up, and the physician hurriedly called out “Your Highness.” He seemed to feel the crisis that he might be driven from his position as imperial physician if his skills were doubted.

“His Highness Aidan asked me to keep it secret from you if possible.”

Karina silently stared at the physician. It was the answer she had already suspected. If Aidan hadn’t ordered it, there would have been no reason for the physician to try so hard to hide the reason from her.

“Follow His Highness’s orders. It would be troublesome for you if you disobey.”

For a physician, it was clear which side to follow when the orders of the prince’s consort and the prince differed. Knowing his position would become difficult, she had no intention of forcing him.

The physician, who had been thinking with his hands clasped and head bowed, took such a deep breath it made an audible sound. When he raised his head, he looked at Karina with a more composed expression than before.

“Actually, I think you already know, Your Highness.”

He opened his mouth, seemingly having made up his mind. Throughout his explanation, Karina showed not the slightest change in expression.

She had been poisoned and getting pregnant would be impossible for at least one to two years. The medicine the physician prescribed was to detoxify that poison.

That was the conclusion. After he finished speaking, the physician observed Karina’s complexion. He seemed worried she might have been hurt, but contrary to his concern, Karina showed no agitation. It was somewhat surprising even to herself that she could remain so unmoved at the news that she couldn’t get pregnant.

It was because she had seen too much of everything before her regression. Above all, the fact of ‘pregnancy’ itself was closer to a catastrophe than a blessing for Karina. It couldn’t be helped. Pregnancy had been an impossibility for her, and the existence of ‘Aidan’s’ child had driven her to death. That was why her heart felt like it was dropping when she heard about Kate’s pregnancy recently.

Fortunately, Kate’s pregnancy had nothing to do with Aidan, but pregnancy still felt like someone else’s business to Karina. So whether she could get pregnant right now or not wasn’t that important.

Would it have been different if he said she could never get pregnant? Just 1-2 years…

What’s more important was who, why, and for what purpose had been feeding her such poison.

“How unexpected. They didn’t try to kill me outright.”

The physician’s face hardened at her muttered words that seemed like she was talking to herself.

“How can you say such frightening things?”

The physician was serious, but Karina swallowed a bitter laugh. She regretted not being able to admit that she already knew too much about the empress, despite starting palace life only a few months ago.

She didn’t need to ask why they tried to make her infertile — it was obvious. The prince’s consort being infertile meant that even if Aidan inherited the throne, he wouldn’t have an heir. Of course, things would be different if his consort changed.

She gave a wry smile as her thoughts reached that point. Could it be that was why Aidan said he would divorce her? Such a conclusion came far too naturally.

“Why did His Highness tell you not to tell me this?”

Once aroused, suspicion quickly turned into distrust. The physician, perhaps sensing the coldness in Karina’s question, stared at her with a tense expression.

“Your Highness seems to misunderstand.”

What was the misunderstanding? She forcibly suppressed the numerous thoughts threatening to spring up and tangle together like weeds, and quietly waited for the physician’s next words.

“His Highness seemed shocked when he heard about Your Highness’s condition. That expression…”

The physician frowned in thought, wondering how to explain.

“I think it was close to guilt.”

Guilt?

“He seemed to blame himself for you being poisoned like this.”

“It might have been disappointment rather than self-blame.”

“That’s…!”

The physician tried to object to her cynical response, but he too couldn’t be certain and ended up just moving his lips without continuing his words.

“Thank you for answering honestly.”

Karina stood up, ending the conversation. When she told him he could leave, the physician appeared to have more to say but ultimately took a deep breath and left without another word.

Left alone, Karina sank deep into thought.

Aidan was someone who desperately needed the emperor’s throne more than anyone. He had said he would survive. As Aidan in this world. He had shown he would do anything for that.

If he had to choose between love and the emperor’s throne, what would his answer be? It was true that Aidan had approached her, showing quite sincere feelings until now, but nothing could be more important than survival. Even Lloyd, who had been pathologically obsessed with her, mercilessly slit her throat when he judged he couldn’t have her. People were always more selfish than expected. Hadn’t she decided to leave this palace because she had seen and experienced such things far too often?

She was the one who had forgotten. She must have been momentarily intoxicated by Aidan’s sweetness. She forcibly suppressed the feelings threatening to sink into bitterness and took a deep breath, her chest rising sharply.

Dreaming of sweet romance inside this palace was indeed a luxury.

As she steadied her heart, her head grew cold. And now she could clearly see what she needed to do.

*

“A letter has arrived from Viscountess Highmond.”

Kai placed an envelope bearing the Highmond family seal in front of Aidan. After their private meeting in the garden last night, Viscountess Highmond’s attitude had definitely changed. At one word from Aidan, she seemed ready to move into his palace immediately.

After opening the envelope and scanning its contents, Aidan put the letter back in the envelope and carelessly tossed it onto the desk.

“Did you put someone on Viscountess Highmond?”

“Yes. We’re watching her, but there haven’t been any special movements yet.”

“I suppose I’ll need to meet her more privately.”

Hearing his casual words, Kai took a deep breath, his expression serious.

“Her Highness says she’s going to House Hewitt. I hear she just received His Majesty’s permission.”

At the sudden mention of Karina, Aidan flinched briefly but quickly resumed rifling through the documents on his desk with a blank expression.

“Let me ask one last time. Are you really alright with letting the Her Highness go like this?”

Hearing his unusually serious tone and noticing his expression, Aidan took a deep breath and lifted his head to look at Kai.

“What would you have done in my place?”

“……?”

Not expecting the question to be turned back on him, Kai just blinked stupidly.

“Are you confident you could protect her perfectly in this vast palace?”

“That’s…”

“Arrogance and reality are different.”

At those cutting words, Kai couldn’t continue speaking.

“It’s easy to make bold promises. Anyone can say anything. But what if something happens in that brief moment when I look away? What if what I thought was perfect preparation wasn’t enough? What if there was just a tiny gap?”

Confusion clouded Kai’s face at the series of questions.

“You might think it’s a minor mistake, but in that one careless moment, a life could be lost.”

Coming from Aidan of all people, the words carried extra weight. Having personally experienced being stabbed, he couldn’t even say the imperial palace was safe.

“Even as Empress, she probably can’t touch House Hewitt. That’s fortunate at least. That Karina’s family is a noble house too powerful for even the imperial family to handle carelessly.”

Was it his imagination that Aidan’s voice sounded complicated when he said ‘fortunate’? Kai took a silent deep breath.

“I think it would be better to explain the situation truthfully to Her Highness. Her Highness will surely understand Your Highness’s intentions.”

“I suppose so. You can see how well she maintains her composure even in front of Lady Highmond, right? How coldly she analyzes situations.”

If it had been Kate instead of Karina, there would have been an uproar right there.

“But to deceive the enemy, you have to deceive your own side first. That’s how you avoid complications.”

Ending the conversation there, Aidan was already moving on to his next instructions. Though he acted calm and nonchalant, Aidan himself couldn’t possibly be at ease. Kai felt sorry that there was nothing he could do for him.

*