“Click, click, click. You have to picture it. Why do you think the Second Prince became Emperor over the First Prince?”

“Ah.”

A small sigh escaped the youngest maid’s lips, seemingly understanding, but then she tilted her head. She’d heard about the duke’s daughter’s disappearance too, and something that had been attached to that story suddenly came to mind.

Hidden behind the massive topic of the duke’s daughter’s disappearance that filled newspapers and magazines, there was one rumor that had only been passed by word of mouth during those ten years she was missing.

‘Didn’t they say the Second Prince was searching for his lost lover? I think they said that person was Princess Renedia.’

She wanted to ask if it was true, but the others began earnestly tearing down the Empress like always. In the relentless stream of slander, titles the servants secretly used kept popping up—abandoned Empress, hollow Empress, fake Empress with no memory.

The youngest maid listened quietly to their stories, then waved her hand dismissively to herself with an “Oh, come on.” 

If the Empress had been the lover from the rumors, the Emperor wouldn’t have let her be treated this way. Even she, who hadn’t worked at the palace long, could clearly feel how the servants treated the Empress—there was no way the Emperor didn’t know.

‘He even ordered us to monitor her and report back so she wouldn’t leave her room.’

The Empress really must not be Renedia Alphlut.

‘Besides, there was that other rumor too.’

There had been a rumor—one that would make the Alphlut family faint if they heard it—that Renedia hadn’t disappeared but had actually fallen in love with a man other than her fiancé and run away with him. 

The youngest maid laughed it off, thinking, “Rumors really can’t be trusted.”

* * *

Cotton sat on the sofa, gazing at the window in the distance. She’d waited until the sun that had been overhead tilted and descended, disappearing from view, but Rickton hadn’t returned.

“Does he have a lot of external appointments…?”

Even after what happened yesterday, she found herself laughable for thinking it was because his schedule was busy rather than him deliberately avoiding her. Cotton pulled her lips into a bitter smile, then released it.

Cotton, who’d been about to leave the reception room and go up to her room, remembered she hadn’t eaten lunch and turned her steps toward the dining room. She wasn’t hungry, but recalling her physician’s words not to skip meals, she planned to at least have dinner.

A servant was just coming out of the dining room, apparently having finished his meal. Cotton tapped his shoulder as he adjusted his clothes.

“Excuse me.”

The man turned around, and when he realized it was the Empress who’d called him, his expression crumpled oddly, looking uncomfortable. 

Though his face quickly returned to normal, Cotton, who’d been looking directly at him, noticed that fleeting moment and simply conveyed her request.

“Could you… would you tell the head chef I’d like just one plate of food? Nothing elaborate, just enough to tide me over.”

Cooking aside, the kitchen was always overflowing with ingredients and snacks. It wasn’t much of a request, so he was about to go ask the head chef when another person who’d also come out of the dining room and been watching the situation grabbed his arm. Then he spoke to Cotton.

“We were the last ones, so they’ve probably cleaned everything up by now.”

“Ah… I see. Thanks for letting me know.”

Cotton nodded lightly and turned around. If there was no food left, it couldn’t be helped. Now she had an excuse, so the doctor wouldn’t scold her too harshly. It was the moment she turned the corner and was about to go up the stairs.

“Aren’t there things left that can be eaten simply?”

“Forget it, don’t give her anything. We bring food out on time every single time, and she doesn’t eat it and throws it all away, and now she wants more? It’s annoying.”

“I guess even a fake is still an Empress.”

“Must be nice being precious, eating whenever she feels like it.”

Followed by giggling. The small voices reached her ears before she’d gone far. Cotton didn’t stop walking and silently climbed the stairs.

Even when people try not to reveal their true feelings, it inevitably shows in their attitude. A furrowed brow, lips curled up slightly to the side, speech tinged with annoyance or subtle irritation, whispers heard from afar. There was no way she didn’t know.

But Cotton remained silent. She was already used to their subtly mocking attitudes and sarcasm after experiencing it for a whole year. Rather, she was more afraid that even if she said something, there would be no change in her cold husband’s attitude.

* * *

“Then where Rickton lives is… different?”

“Well… different. Especially here… even among islands, it’s remote and underdeveloped…”

In a space seemingly filled with fog, the sound of murmuring conversation gradually became clearer.

“Is it bad enough to say that? I’ve only ever lived here.”

“You don’t need to know. Memories can be recovered gradually.”

As the voices became distinct, the fog lifted and the figures of two people atop a cliff became clear.

“Rickton says I have no memory, but I’m still not sure.”

Cotton laughed awkwardly and changed the subject.

“You said you came from across the sea? Then is it far, far away?”

“…Far. Very far.”

It must be very far. Hearing the answer that came a beat late for some reason, Cotton looked at the sea spread before her eyes. 

The sparkling ripples on the waves looked exceptionally clear today, unlike her complicated feelings. Even scanning the seemingly endless horizon, not even another island was visible. If he left, she’d never see this man again.

“You’ll have to… leave soon.”

Though she tried to speak plainly, her voice trembled finely. Cotton hurriedly closed her mouth to avoid showing it. It would be too shameless to stop someone who had a place to return to from going. They’d met less than half a day ago. 

Yet wanting to hold onto this man who’d entered deep into her heart, Cotton swallowed the words that had risen to her throat.

“I’ll help you find your memories.”

Rickton deliberately turned her around to face him when she’d turned her head the other way. Their gazes crossed. She was reflected in his deep blue eyes that showed no bottom.

“Come with me.”

.

.

.

Cotton woke from sleep. Her vision was so dark it made the sparkling scene she’d just witnessed feel like a lie. She closed her eyes, hoping to dream the same dream again. But cruelly, sleep wouldn’t come anymore. Eventually, Cotton dragged herself up.

When she walked to the window and drew back the curtains, sunlight poured in brightly. Rickton’s proposal had felt exactly like this. Like brilliant light was radiating from him…

An unforgettable day. Even after a tremendous amount of time passes, it won’t be forgotten. Cotton smiled at the vividly drawn past. Then her eyes widened. In the distance, a carriage was circling around to the back of the palace. 

It was the carriage Rickton rode when returning from external appointments. Confirming it by its unique design and crest, she hurriedly changed out of her nightgown. Even without a maid, a simple dress was manageable.

She was descending the stairs quickly but carefully to avoid falling when Rickton was entering the entrance, handing his coat to a servant. Perhaps sensing a presence, his eyes looked up and their gazes met directly. Cotton smiled like she was acknowledging his hard work, but Rickton quickly looked away.

She felt disappointed, but more than that, she felt glad. Normally it would be hard to even see his face, but today they’d looked at each other, hadn’t they? 

Cotton followed with quick steps as he gave some instructions and climbed the stairs. After confirming no one was around, she spoke.

“Rickton, do you know what I dreamed about today? I dreamed about when we first met in Cuswell.”

“……”

“It was so vivid—I could feel the cool breeze, the smell of the sea, even the air from back then, so I thought I’d actually returned to that day.”

Rickton remained silent, but Cotton didn’t mind and smiled brightly. Excited by the happy dream she’d had in so long, Cotton completely forgot about yesterday’s incident and continued chattering away like a sparrow.

Cotton’s voice, which had risen a tone, suddenly stopped the moment they reached Rickton’s bedroom.

“Did I ever say you could come in whenever you wanted?”

Rickton frowned, looking at Cotton’s foot that had crossed the doorway. She stopped and carefully looked up at him as he turned to face her. When had it started—thinking it was frightening when her husband looked down at her quietly?

“I never said you could leave your room either.”

No, more precisely, it wasn’t Rickton that was frightening but the coldness felt in that gaze. The gaze that had softened tenderly, looking at her lovingly, still hadn’t been forgotten, but in those coldly indifferent eyes, she could no longer feel any warmth.

“Could we just talk for a bit—Ah!”

Impact struck her shoulder. Cotton staggered and was pushed out the door.

“How many times do I have to tell you before you’ll at least pretend to understand? Didn’t I say I’m disgusted to see your face? That even mixing words with you, even breathing the same air as you is filthy and nauseating?”

Bang. The door closed mercilessly. Cotton flinched at the loud sound, then pressed her trembling lips tightly together. Her mood that had been floating sank down below and disappeared completely. Though cold water hadn’t been poured on her, she somehow felt chilled.

Though it was her shoulder that had been pushed, her chest hurt. Each word felt like she was being slashed, so Cotton forcibly stopped her labored breathing.

After enduring for a while, her startled heart calmed and her wavering breath settled. Cotton swallowed the stinging pain and spoke quietly to her husband beyond the door.

“I’ll come again.”

He must be tired. Let’s hope for next time. Comforting herself alone, she headed to her room. Her returning steps dragged heavily.

“Ugh…!”

It was the moment she’d walked slowly like that and reached her room door. She suddenly staggered and grabbed her head. 

Dizziness that felt like the world was turning upside down rushed in, and her vision spun. Cotton stood for a moment, waiting for the dizziness to pass, then moved forward with her hand against the wall.

* * *

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.”

Cotton smiled like she was fine at the merciless clicking of his tongue. But a scolding immediately flew at her.

“What on earth are you smiling about! Didn’t I tell you? That you need to eat properly?”

Gott, her physician, stopped examining her and lifted her thin arm, shaking it to make her look. Though he applied only light pressure, Cotton’s body, sitting on the bed, couldn’t withstand it and swayed. Gott let out a deep sigh.

“Look at this. Every time I see you, you’re wasting away.”

“I think I’ve been eating pretty well…”

“You felt dizzy again, which is why I’m here, so tell me a lie I can believe.”

Cotton subtly avoided Gott’s piercing stare. Truthfully, there were more than one or two things she felt guilty about. 

She skipped meals while waiting for her husband, skipped them saying she wasn’t hungry, and even when she ate, she’d put down her fork after just two or three bites because nothing more would go down. 

But if she forced herself to eat, her stomach would feel bad anyway, so what could she do?