“What… Why would you say such a thing, Princess? I’m merely doing what’s expected of me.”

“…Today I’ll stay by Mother’s side. Please go get some rest in the meantime.”

“No. When Her Majesty wakes, she’ll surely ask for me.”

“When that happens, I’ll call for you… So please… go and rest. I’m so afraid you’ll collapse too…”

“Princess…”

With Adeline pushing at her back, Mrs. Neumann had no choice but to be forced out of the hospital room as soon as she set down her things. After sending Mrs. Neumann away, Adeline closed the door with a click and sat in the chair beside the bed.

Adeline wanted to touch her mother’s face. But her hand, cautiously extended, fumbled in the air for a moment before withdrawing. She didn’t dare touch her, afraid she might wake her.

When she’d looked from a distance, her mother had seemed surprisingly neat for a patient lying in bed. The collar of the linen dress she wore had crisp lines, like it had just been starched.

“…”

But her mother’s face, examined this closely, was worse than she’d expected. Sunken eyelids, chapped lips, and a pointed chin. Everything.

Adeline let out a sigh and ran her hand down her face.

How… what should I have done? Mother, what should I have done?

If only Mother had asked me to cut off my flesh… if cutting off my flesh and letting Mother eat it could restore her health…

If that’s what it took, I would have gladly given it.

She was immersed in deep regret when her mother’s voice reached her.

“…You came.”

“Yes…”

Her mother, Luise, opened her eyes narrowly and looked quietly at Adeline. Adeline’s voice was already mixed with tears.

“I’m sorry, Mother… I’m so late… I didn’t even know you were this sick… I should have visited sooner… I was wrong…”

Luise smiled soundlessly. Moving only one corner of her lips.

“Even if you’d come to see me earlier, I never would have seen you anyway.”

“…”

“That aside, why does your face look so pathetic? You’ve lost a lot of weight.”

Adeline’s shoulders flinched, unable to lift her head.

“It’s nothing. I had a mild cold last week.”

Her mother Luise’s cold hand touched her chin and cheek.

“No matter how I look at it, you seem more like a patient than me. Truly pathetic…”

“…”

“You became Belliche’s woman just like you wanted, so why do you have that face? It’s strange. You should be overflowing with happiness.”

Luise withdrew her hand. The last words at the end of her mother’s listless, slowly continuing voice dripped with mockery.

Afraid her mother might suddenly take a turn for the worse, and because each word from her mother’s mouth stabbed into her chest like a dagger—

Adeline already felt suffocated.

You’re right, Mother… Really… you are.

It felt like a huge lump of iron had been placed on her chest. A transparent teardrop that had been welling in Adeline’s eyes finally fell.

“Don’t cry. It’s the life you chose.”

“…Yes.”

Luise paused briefly. It wasn’t to catch her breath, but a silence that seemed to measure the speed at which her daughter was crumbling.

“Are you resentful toward me?”

“…”

Adeline quietly swallowed the grief flowing out.

“Well, even if you think I’m cruel, there’s nothing to be done now. It’s all over for me. I’ll be leaving soon anyway.”

“…Don’t say things like leaving.”

“All humans grow old and sick. It’s all the same in the end. What’s so important about dying?”

“Mother, please… please…”

I’m begging you like this. I was wrong.

She barely held back her sobs, but her murmuring vision remained blurred. Sighs kept escaping from Luise’s lips.

“Looking back, it’s all so futile. My life was filled only with failures. And one of those failures is you.”

“…”

She heard something like a crumbling sound from inside her chest. But even seeing Adeline’s blank eyes, her mother still wore a calm expression.

What came from her mouth next was a cold order of dismissal thrown at a daughter she might be seeing for the last time.

“Don’t come again. Just seeing you like this exhausts me.”

* * *

Though Adeline left the hospital room at her mother’s words that she was tired, she couldn’t bring herself to leave the hospital entirely.

After wandering the hospital lobby aimlessly, she forced an envelope containing a check into the hands of Mrs. Neumann when she returned, along with a request to take good care of her mother, then left.

Early winter.

The sun had already set. In the darkening sky, snow is too ambiguous to call the first snow scattered in the wind.

Benches for visitors lined the walkway stretching from the main building to the front gate. Adeline chose one and sat down. Then she stared blankly at the falling snowflakes.

Before long, she felt her hands and feet freezing.

What… time is it?

Since she hadn’t planned to return to Varsen today, she’d sent the driver back as soon as they arrived at the hospital.

She thought she should pull herself together before it got any later and head to the station to catch a train.

She couldn’t miss the last train, so she took a cab to the station. Inside the station was noisier than expected. People’s breathing and footsteps tangled together.

After buying a ticket and going down to the platform, Adeline looked for a waiting room with a stove to warm her frozen body. Even a single stove was better than nothing.

As she was warming her frozen hands, she heard the station attendant’s voice.

Track frozen.

Delayed.

Departure today unlikely.

That was the gist of it. Adeline’s vision went dark.

Then should I get a hotel? Hotels have phones…

Her mind had already lifted her from the chair, but like cream melting in faint warmth, her body only sagged.

She couldn’t tell what state of mind had carried her from morning to this hour. Her body felt like it was floating in air, completely unreal.

Today had been too long.

Adeline couldn’t overcome the fatigue that suddenly rushed over her.

But I can’t sleep here. At least I should go to a hotel…

Contrary to that thought, her eyelids grew heavier and heavier.

Adeline’s head, sitting on the platform waiting bench, was slowly dropping when—

“Adeline.”

Someone seemed to be calling her name. In Kailen’s voice, no less.

Must be my imagination. How could he be here?

Is this a dream? Already half-asleep and late anyway, she didn’t open her eyes, thinking she’d rest a bit more before getting up.

“Adeline.”

But this time her shoulder shook. When she felt the cool sensation of someone touching her face, Adeline slowly opened her eyes.

And at the familiar figure caught in her vision, Adeline murmured quietly.

“…Kailen?”

The person before her eyes was definitely Kailen. Yet it felt unreal. This too seemed like a dream. So Adeline closed her eyes again. She thought if she got up after resting a bit more, he’d be gone by then.

“Ha…”

Then a long sigh and short command fell simultaneously from in front of her.

“Get up.”

Only then did Adeline’s eyes snap open.

This was… real?

Kailen was showing his rather uncomfortable mood without hesitation in that expression. 

But Adeline, in her drowsy state, couldn’t read him. She was just happy to see a face she missed no matter how many times she looked.

It’s you. I really missed you so much.

But how did you come?

Even in her drowsy state, she was so glad to see him that she smiled faintly and murmured.

“How… did you know to come here?”

Realizing it was real, the cold suddenly rushed in all at once and her shoulders hunched. The fire in the stove that had been burning all dawn had weakened considerably, making the waiting room air chilly.

“…I’m cold. So cold.”

Another sigh burst from Kailen’s lips.

He took off his coat and wrapped it around her body. Then without saying more, he lifted her up and strode forward.

A car was waiting in front of the station.

He got into the car still holding Adeline.

The door closed, blocking out the outside noise and cold together.

Adeline burrowed deeper into the folds of his coat, seeking warmth.

Right now, she was just happy to see him.