62. Density of Reunion

Unlike the scentless Nuero Garden, the city overlooking the harbor was filled with countless aromas. The subtle salty smell of the seashore, the savory and salty scents of food wafting from every corner, and, as summer ripened, the intense fragrance of many flowers all blended together. But Felicia could only sense the dry yet refreshing scent of Yuan, reminiscent of wood, which she had missed so much that she wanted to break down and cry.

“…I almost fell.”

“…….”

“Felicia.”

Felicia, determined not to speak to Yuan, felt strangely empty when he called her by her full name rather than the affectionate nickname he used daily. It was just her name, but her left chest ached so much she bit her lip and pulled her arm away from the hand that had caught her. There was no affection in his touch, but the spot where his hand had touched seemed to burn, which she found irritating.

“There’s somewhere else you need to go, isn’t there?”

“…….”

“Next time, Yuan. Let’s talk next time.”

“I’m worried there won’t be a next time.”

Yuan’s voice was full of longing, and Felicia’s face went pale. Maybe it was childish anxiety that she might never see him again, but to Felicia, it sounded as if this might be their last meeting. So, she couldn’t help but grab the hand Yuan had let go of, the hand that had lost its place.

“Felicia.”

“…Ah, sorry.”

Yuan squeezed her hand again, unwilling to let go so easily. Regret and sorrow over everything that had changed stabbed at their hearts. Since when, why them, why herself—fragmented questions hovered on Yuan’s lips. Everything had gone wrong since he’d let slip his suppressed feelings, and now he was afraid.

“The atmosphere’s been strange for days. That’s why you came back, isn’t it?”

“…….”

“So let’s talk later.”

“That’s why I want to talk now.”

“I don’t want to.”

Felicia’s hand, caught in his, trembled and gradually lost its warmth. Yuan looked down at her hand, noticing her reddening eyes, and closed his mouth. To call it a misunderstanding would have been a life-risking resolve, and he was afraid that if he poured out all his feelings while looking into her resentful eyes, he’d be left too pitiful. Still, her refusal stung, left him aching and upset.

“Just give me a little time.”

“…….”

“I don’t need much. Just a little.”

“Three days.”

“…….”

“Would that be enough?”

“…It’s enough.”

When Felicia said “It’s enough,” Yuan finally loosened his grip. If only he’d let go all at once, but his fingertips brushed over the back of her hand, leaving a lingering feeling. Whenever they met, there was so much to say, but Felicia thought herself childish for showing her feelings so openly. She wondered if, instead of wasting time, she could understand Yuan’s heart and turn things around—even if it was a foolish hope. But she felt like she would burst into tears, so all she could do was bite her lips to keep from crying.

“Yuan.”

Fortunately, the somber mood lightened a little when Sejio appeared at just the right moment. Of the four eyes that met, two were wide and two looked ready to die, so Sejio awkwardly tried to smile.

“It’s been a while, Felicia.”

“Indeed. Have you been well?”

“Don’t ask. On the way back…”

“Sejio.”

Yuan blocked Sejio’s attempt to slyly mention something. Sejio clicked his tongue quietly in disappointment, then nudged his foolish friend toward the carriage parked in the distance and offered his hand to Felicia.

“We’re headed to Akuris anyway.”

“…….”

“If you’re alright with it, shall we go together, My Lady?”

Sejio’s gentle voice cut through the heavy atmosphere, and Felicia nodded before her heart could respond. As he took her hand, Sejio glanced at Yuan, who seemed unable to say a word he’d wanted to. Sejio had no idea what the two had discussed to make things so tense, but there were more pressing matters.

“If possible, always keep someone with you, Felicia.”

“I’m more comfortable alone.”

“Then at least keep that friend with you.”

“…….”

“It’s better to use what you have while it’s there. Just look—he’s reliable.”

Sejio joked, glancing at Yuan, who was walking behind them, but Felicia only looked at Sejio and didn’t once turn her head. She seemed much more stubborn than expected. Sejio, sweating a little, forced a laugh and opened the carriage door for Felicia.

“Get in, Count.”

“…….”

“Isn’t it strange for the Count not to be in Viamel’s carriage?”

What had he done wrong? Sejio’s curiosity reached its peak, but he kept quiet at Felicia’s pointed comment about Yuan’s discomfort with sharing a space. As soon as the three of them filled the carriage, the door closed and it began to move slowly. Yuan kept looking out the window, and Felicia, feeling stifled, took off her robe and neatly laid it in front of her.

“Is everything alright at Akuris?”

“There have been many guests. Today, I saw visitors from the Decado Viscountcy.”

“Hm…”

“The Crown Prince seems to be rushing the wedding.”

“…….”

“As if trying to get urgent matters done before war breaks out, everyone’s acting restless.”

The future Countess was quite perceptive. As soon as Felicia finished speaking, both men looked at her—one with interest, the other as if he had much to say but was holding back. But Felicia didn’t meet either gaze, only straightened her robe and looked down.

“I was raised gently and spent so long acting foolish that everyone thinks I’m an idiot.”

“…….”

“That’s all.”

“There’s evidence that Midonia secretly took our imperial citizens.”

“Sejio.”

“Akuris can’t avoid responsibility for that, and Viamel is unfairly entangled too.”

“…….”

“You’re the closest to both families, My Lady, so of course you know.”

Felicia had guessed Akuris was in a difficult position, but hadn’t expected Yuan to be involved with Midonia, which made her anxious. She tried to act calm, but guilt crept in, wondering if she’d made things harder for him. After Sejio’s last words, the carriage fell silent until it reached the Akuris mansion. Felicia, who hadn’t moved the whole ride, was bathed in sunlight as she stepped out, the mansion’s ivory facade shining.

“You must have much to discuss, so I’ll go ahead.”

“Don’t resent too much.”

Felicia took Sejio’s hand as she stepped out, looking at him quietly at his worried words. Did he know? Did he say this because he knew? Confusion arose but didn’t matter. If only Nadia didn’t exist, if only she were gone from the world, then Yuan’s reckless hopes could never come true. Felicia’s lips trembled, but she didn’t waver.

“I won’t.”

“…….”

“Don’t worry.”

As she spoke, she noticed his face looked thinner than before and felt a pang. Felicia nodded lightly to Yuan over Sejio’s shoulder and gave Sejio a grateful look before turning away. The mansion was busy with guests, but it seemed quiet—until Marie burst out from the front door, making it clear Felicia had been caught sneaking out.

“My Lady!”

“Sorry, Marie. You were worried…!”

“…….”

“Yuan.”

Felicia had just stepped on the stairs when it happened. Yuan’s hand, gentle but firm, wrapped around her waist, startling her. She grabbed his wrist and calmly called his name. But his hand didn’t budge, and though he stood a step below, his breath brushed her shoulder.

“There are many eyes watching.”

“Why…”

“Yuan.”

“…….”

Even when she called his name, he didn’t answer, and instead his hand hovered, unable to touch the still-healing burn. Feeling his presence, Felicia remembered she’d wrapped a thin shawl over her ointment and donned a robe. She turned to face Yuan, her previously dark eyes now reddening to match Felicia’s green eyes. The sunlight, less harsh than before, gently passed between them.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Felicia.”

“You have things to take care of.”

“It’s because of me.”

“No.”

“…….”

“It’s my fault.”

She didn’t want to let go of the wrist she’d grabbed to stop him. She felt foolish for having wanted to make him love her, only to see him try to leave her behind and follow his comrades. She felt betrayed, but seeing his face, she realized she couldn’t help but love him even more, and the feeling overwhelmed her. She pitied him, resented him, loved him, and disliked her own feelings. Yet the concern he showed made her heart race with joy.

“So don’t worry about it.”

“How can I not?”

“It’s my punishment.”

“Felicia.”

“I realized that when I asked you to help me, I just wanted you to love me, but agreeing to help didn’t mean you loved me.”

“You know that’s not it.”

“It’s silly to give my heart away by mistake, but once given, it can’t be taken back.”

“…….”

“I can’t not love you.”

The more she spoke, the more her thoughts rang with resentment. Yuan’s face blurred as he called her name longingly, then came back into focus. Though she felt resentful, she hated that brief blur, so Felicia cupped his face in her hands. The people of Akuris, watching from afar, blushed and hurried away, not knowing the truth of the moment. Their excited whispers about My Lady meeting her destined partner spread throughout the mansion.

“So don’t worry about it.”

“…….”

“That’s how it’s fair.”

“Please, Pia.”

“I wish we hadn’t met.”

“…….”

“I could accept help from anyone but you.”

Her words were sharp, but not truly bitter. She looked as if she were holding back tears, but eventually a tear dropped onto Yuan’s cheek, and Felicia turned away and fled inside the mansion. Her hand covered her face as she let out a heavy, wet sigh.

Sejio and Marie, who had watched quietly from a distance, exchanged glances before each went to their respective side. Marie, unable to climb the stairs, found Felicia crouched in a corner crying and helped her to her room. Sejio, worried Yuan might lose what he’d risked his life for, quickly led him into the drawing room with Hanel’s guidance.