68. Same Place

Midonia, unlike Veone, was located at the center of the continent—a place that existed even before the concept of “empire” was born. Being in the middle of the continent made it difficult to interact with anywhere, and, as luck would have it, the land was more sand than soil, making survival inside even harder. Yet they survived, and when Midonia appeared on the first page of history, it was as if they had been waiting, staining the world red with blood to show how they had endured. Since then, despite its soft-sounding name, Midonia became notorious as the Empire of Blood.

“Never sick a day in his life.”

“My apologies.”

“Better to be sick now, I suppose.”

Matching that reputation, the Empress’s voice slithered through the corridor as she handed over a letter sealed with old, sticky, dark-red wax. For days, Marhel had been playing the role of a frail prince, staying in his room and quietly treating his injured back in the heat of summer, while his mother pretended to worry about him. Mateo thought, “Blood is blood,” and, as always, couldn’t refuse the Empress’s orders, quietly accepting what she gave him.

“It’s about time you stopped being weighed down by your status.”

“…….”

“Share in the glory.”

The Empress boasted as if bestowing some great favor, but it was something Mateo had never once wanted. He’d never wished for glory, never wanted to risk his life for it, but the price of the foolish dream to wield his family’s sword for life turned out to be crueler than expected, so Mateo could only nod.

“No sincerity.”

“Are you awake?”

“You’re not even trying to hide it.”

Yet she herself wasn’t trying to hide that she’d been eavesdropping. Mateo swallowed the words that wanted to burst out. Speaking one’s thoughts was as foolish as it gets. He wasn’t so stupid as to forget his late mother’s advice: “If you want to live, don’t even breathe loudly.”

“At least make an excuse.”

“I have none to offer.”

“The only one I call mine is so shameless.”

“You already knew everything.”

At Mateo’s words, Marhel stopped his mocking tone, and even though it was deep night, his two blue eyes shone fiercely, as if under daylight. For a moment, the world seemed to freeze, so silent that even the sound of air moving disappeared, until the rustling of cloth as Marhel moved broke the heavy silence.

“I didn’t know everything.”

“But you knew this moment would come.”

“That I’d lay down my life to be my mother’s puppet to the end?”

“…….”

“Or that I’d realize I’m nothing more than a tool for the Empress’s ambitions?”

Judging by Mateo’s face, it seemed to be both. Marhel wasn’t sure if the bitterness in his mouth was from the medicine he took before nightfall, or just the reflux of a wounded heart, but he ran his tongue over his mouth as if he’d bitten into something rotten and gave a bitter smile. He’d sensed from a young age that he’d have to risk his life to rise to the rank of Grand Duke that the Empress wanted, but it had only recently occurred to him that his very existence was just a means to fulfill her desires.

“What do you plan to do?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do as you wish.”

“I don’t like that.”

“…….”

“That phrase brings back bad memories.”

Now, the image of Felicia came to Marhel so naturally it troubled him. The thoughts he always tried to ignore had settled so deeply that he found the situation both difficult and strangely pleasant. The dawn outside the window, dark as the depths of the sea, was peaceful despite the moonlight fading. Marhel, gazing out at the world beyond, turned his head to look at Mateo, who stood like a statue.

“Just in case, I should make one more person my own.”

“Am I not enough?”

“Someone might misunderstand, Mateo.”

“You’re not denying it.”

“I’m not enough either.”

“Do you have someone in mind?”

Instead of answering, Marhel simply stared at him, then turned away. Living as a puppet wouldn’t be so bad, but his ego had grown too large to let go of his desires. If there was no one to accept his regret-stained heart, then at least he should wash away the stains—that was his conclusion. So Marhel didn’t bother to hide his shamelessness in front of the Marquis.

“I think it’s a good deal.”

“It is.”

“But?”

“…….”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“If we’re talking trust, I have even less, Your Highness.”

Marhel couldn’t let go of the now-cold teacup in his hand. The Marquis, on the other hand, seemed perfectly at ease. He glanced at the papers Marhel brought, then, as if he had no intention of reading them again, set them on the table and didn’t look at them. Marhel felt anxious at his behavior. He knew he couldn’t refuse the Emperor’s command, but he fiddled with the teacup anyway.

“If you say so, I have nothing else to add.”

“Haha, I was only joking.”

“…….”

“But there is something that bothers me.”

“Go ahead.”

“You know you might end up at odds with Her Majesty the Empress, and you still came here, right?”

It was a gentle voice, as if explaining something to a child. Marhel, feeling comfort rather than rejection for the first time at that familiar voice, finally released the teacup he’d been gripping and nodded. The Marquis, seeing this, smiled even more broadly and straightened up from his chair.

＊＊＊

“Pia.”

“…….”

“Say something, anything.”

Yuan couldn’t tell whether to be happy or sad about this situation. Felicia’s hand, which had never let go of him, gripped his own tightly, and that was enough to bring tears of joy. But watching Felicia, who never met his gaze and only seemed lost in thought, made his heart ache so much he wanted to run away.

“Felicia. Look at me.”

“…….”

“Just once, please.”

“Tell them you can’t go.”

“…….”

“Say you can’t.”

Her voice, mixed with annoyance and anger, trembled with tears at the end. Yuan gently stroked Felicia’s hand with his thumb, trying to calm her, but couldn’t bring himself to say anything to ease her anxiety. He couldn’t refuse the imperial command, nor did he intend to shirk his responsibility, so he couldn’t nod to his fiancée’s desperate plea. Lies would only lead to deeper resentment later; he wanted only the kind of resentment he could bear. Not knowing Yuan’s selfish thoughts, Felicia, feeling that holding his hand wasn’t enough, desperately wrapped her arms around his waist, clinging to him with her whole body.

“Pia…!”

“If you go, you won’t come back.”

“I’ll come back.”

“…….”

“You can come back.”

Gently, like soothing a child, Yuan stroked Felicia’s arms. It wasn’t a lie, so he filled his touch with reassurance and sincerity, hoping she’d understand. But perhaps it didn’t reach her, as Felicia’s fists, gripping his clothes behind him, trembled violently.

“Don’t come back.”

“…….”

“If you don’t leave, there’s no need to come back.”

“…….”

“I know it’s unreasonable. But if you come back, you’ll just think about leaving again.”

They say the right moment comes without warning, and it was true. At Felicia’s words, Yuan felt his heart drop, bit his lower lip, and released her arms, pushing her away from his embrace. Maybe now was the time to let go. After sending Felicia away from the territory, he’d resolved and imagined hundreds of times to let her go, but always postponed it for lack of courage, or for the excuse of seeing her one last time. Maybe now was the time.

“Answer me.”

“…….”

“Yuan.”

“Yes, Count. Answer.”

Marhel, apparently done talking with the Marquis, stepped between the two, whose silence was heavy. Yuan, seeing Marhel approach, regretted pushing Felicia away and clenched and unclenched his empty hands to fight the numbness.

“So you have somewhere to leave for, even if you come back.”

“…….”

“And it’s not just you who has somewhere to go.”

Marhel’s gaze, which never left Felicia, made Yuan frown, but he still kept Felicia out of Marhel’s sight. As Marhel strode closer, their similar eyes met.

“I’ll leave as soon as I can.”

“…His Highness the Crown Prince—”

“He must have noticed. This isn’t a game for the Crown Prince.”

“And he knows it’s too much for him.”

“And he knows that’s wrong, too.”

Marhel’s expression, once relaxed and annoyed, now crumpled like Yuan’s, so Yuan stopped teasing him and quietly watched Felicia, who stood precariously between them. Her lips, battered and dry, were a mess, but there was nothing Yuan could do. He hadn’t planned to come this far, and even if he could do something, he thought he shouldn’t.

“May I borrow your fiancé for a while, Pia? I have a lot to discuss.”

At Marhel’s request, Felicia finally looked at Marhel, then Yuan, and stepped back to give them space. She knew better than anyone that, even if she threw a fit, she couldn’t stop anything. So all she could do was step back. She couldn’t do anything about the hand that pushed her away, or the avoidance that refused her desperate request.

“Of course, Your Highness.”

Admitting she could do nothing, Felicia could only muster an empty laugh. She couldn’t read anything in Marhel’s gaze as he looked at her, and didn’t meet anyone else’s eyes. As Marhel left first, Yuan slowly turned his back on Felicia, but she didn’t look at him. Instead of Yuan’s true feelings, his foolish resolve reached Felicia. In just a few days, the once-tight ring on her finger now clung loosely, as if it might slip off at any moment.