Chapter 1 – The Most Perfect Night

It was exactly as Felicia had dreamed.

A dark sky filled with stars, not a single cloud, and the faint voices of people in the distance. The cool breeze and the two sitting with the light shining brighter than the moon behind them. Even though the most beautiful melody and fanfare echoed in her mind, Felicia, instead of writing it down in the small bundle of paper she always carried, gazed at the most beautiful face in the world.

“Felicia.”

‘Ah, why isn’t my name longer? If my name were hundreds of letters long, it would take him a lifetime just to call me once!’

Felicia ignored the cries rising somewhere deep inside her, and, hearing the low, gentle voice right beside her, she held her breath unnoticed by anyone.

“…Yes, Your Highness.”

Felicia took a shallow breath, ignoring her curled toes and the goosebumps that had risen all over her body.

‘Ah, why isn’t his name longer? If the papers with only his name written on them were thicker than the Bible, then every time I called my love, I could spend a lifetime doing so.’

Felicia closed her eyes a little longer out of regret, then slowly opened them. In her slowly opening eyes, even in the dark night, dazzling hair like the midday sun and eyes sparkling like the sea, coveted even by the god of the ocean, slowly filled her gaze.

Marhel de Han Heritten. He was the one and only second prince of the Veone Empire, and ever since Felicia was just a newborn struggling to open her eyes, he had been her sun, her muse, and her one and only love.

Even today, Felicia’s gaze, captivated by his enchanting face, never wavered for a single moment, and slowly drifted down to his hands. Even at a glance, they were large and handsome hands.

How wonderful would it be if there was something on the ring finger of his left hand, just like on hers? Felicia unconsciously licked her lips. Imagining herself smiling beside the prince, both wearing matching rings, a melody as enchanting as the prince himself rang in Felicia’s head once again.

“Do you remember the first time we met?”

Ah, that sweet voice always sent shivers down her spine, and Felicia let out a soft sigh, disappointed that her daydream had vanished. For two years now, she had hesitated, unable to decide the color of her and the prince’s child’s hair, so in her imagination, Felicia could only get as far as marrying the prince. Of course, the prince’s golden hair was undeniably beautiful, but Felicia cherished her own soft sunset-colored hair as well. That made the child’s hair a particularly difficult dilemma.

“Felicia?”

Oops. Felicia released her grip on her head, which she had unconsciously been holding tightly with both hands, and recalled her first meeting with Marhel, still vivid in her memory. How could she forget? For Felicia, her first meeting with the prince was as fresh as yesterday. She wished someone would bring her a blank canvas so she could paint that memory, so happy was it.

“Of course, Your Highness. I’ve been looking at you since I was in the cradle.”

One summer day, two weeks after Felicia was born. When her world was still black and white, the prince’s face seen over the cradle was as radiant as the sun.

“…Wasn’t it in Her Majesty’s garden that we first met?”

“Yes, I saw you then too.”

He said ‘we’. Felicia bit the inside of her mouth slightly so Marhel wouldn’t notice. It was always Felicia who spoke of the two of them as ‘we’, and Marhel would awkwardly, but more brightly than the blessed Miklene beach, smile and slip away. Somehow, Felicia felt something good was about to happen. Instinctively, she stroked her left ring finger.

“Has your heart remained unchanged since then?”

“A girl’s heart toward you is like a star, Your Highness.”

“……”

“Even if it seems absent, it is always there, just as it was.”

Instead of replying, the prince smiled for real, his eyes folding gently. Sitting side by side, Marhel turned toward her, gathered a few strands of Felicia’s hair in his white-gloved hand, and gently stroked them. The reddish-orange threads tangled in his fingers. It was just a few strands, but Felicia felt as if her whole body was being touched. Her fingertips and toes curled involuntarily.

‘Something’s different, it’s different..!’

Felicia instinctively knew. No matter what she said, he usually just got flustered, barely raised the corners of his mouth, and kept his manners, but not this time. This moment was more perfect than any dream she’d ever had.

Inside the party hall, the music had begun, and the sound of instruments was more prominent than people’s voices. Every light illuminating the beautiful imperial palace seemed to exist only for the prince, making his sun-like hair shine even brighter. Everything was just as Felicia had imagined.

“I always honor your heart.”

After a moment that felt like a lifetime, Marhel kissed the tips of Felicia’s hair and spoke.

“How could I not love you, Your Highness?”

“…Felicia.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

‘Yes. I know it all, my love. Our path has been long and rough. Well, not truly rough, but we’ve grown so much since we were children. Now you button your shirt up to your neck, and I squeeze myself into this hard corset just to look like a woman to you rather than a childhood friend. All this time, I’ve waited and loved you so much, Marhel. If you knew what I did because I couldn’t express my love for you, you’d shed pearl-like tears from those jewel-like eyes, my love.’

Felicia pressed her lips tightly together, keeping the words pouring out in her heart from escaping. She hid her trembling fingertips in a fist, but there was no way to hide the waves in her eyes. Marhel didn’t avoid her gaze, meeting it head-on.

“Felicia, I…”

‘I’m ready for anything, Marhel. Not even h＊ll could stop this love, and if any god came, I’d be ready to fight. Even the goddess of love would want to emulate me, because I…’

Felicia unconsciously covered her opening lips with her hand. She didn’t want to ruin the long-awaited moment with her overwhelming emotions. She had looked only at him her whole life, Felicia had. She had endured all that time for this moment. Of course, there were still two people who had to marry before her, but that could be dealt with when the time came. She knew her father would say she was still young, just of marriageable age, and try to stop her, but it didn’t matter. Now that Marhel was about to confess his love, nothing could stand in Felicia’s way.

“I do not love you.”

“So do I… what?”

“I do not love you.”

It must have been because she hadn’t slept until sunrise these days. Felicia instinctively forced a smile onto her stiff face. She smiled, blushing and folding her eyes, just like the woman in the prince’s favorite painting on a swing. Cruelly, the prince repeated himself, but Felicia didn’t hate him for it. She just smiled at him.

Felicia knew all too well that the prince did not love her. But she thought it simply wasn’t the right time yet, so she didn’t mind at all. For love to reach each other at the same time, something greater than a miracle was needed. Felicia knew this better than anyone, and so she could love Marhel as naturally as breathing. If it was love that would come with waiting, Felicia could wait even after death.

“I dislike you.”

But today was different. The prince, Marhel, for the first time did not avoid her or make excuses, but directly rejected Felicia.

“I’ve treated you as much as I should, so now I’ll be honest.”

“……”

“Felicia, I dislike you.”

Sitting together, gazing at each other more tenderly than anyone, his words poured out as if something was lacking, and they were cruel to Felicia. Even in the garden full of trees, she felt short of breath. Felicia knew it wasn’t her clothes, but she put her hand on her tightly bound body as if it were too tight and couldn’t respond. She had thought for sure Marhel would confess feelings like hers today.

But as her heart faded to white, Marhel gave a cold smile. Felicia froze at his icy expression.

“Even if I’m not your prince, you are the daughter of the great Akuris family.”

“……”

“How could I reject a daughter of such a family?”

“…Then why do you say this only now?”

“I was afraid there’d come a time when my feelings wouldn’t matter.”

Felicia was the one hurt by his bitter words, but somehow he looked even more distressed.

“So easy…”

It was too painful to be just a mutter; his words pierced Felicia deeply. Marhel turned his head to look at his steward waiting in the distance. As if his business was finished, Marhel gently released the strands of Felicia’s hair he’d been holding and stood up. The hair Felicia had so carefully brushed to look good for him was now tangled like cheap thread in his hand, the only flaw in her carefully brushed hair.

Hearing his footsteps fade into the gentle breeze, Felicia bowed her head. She had to think. It was too cruel that Marhel was pushing her away just because of her name. Why couldn’t he see that she was willing to give up her name for him? Felicia’s hands, neatly placed on her peach-colored dress worn to look good for Marhel, trembled like ice.

But soon Felicia gripped her dress tightly and stood up, hurriedly walking toward where Marhel had disappeared.

“Marhel!”

Felicia’s earnest cry rang through the quiet garden. Marhel, now far away, turned his head slightly to look at her, not caring at all for the etiquette or dignity lost in her loud call.

“Forgive my rudeness, Your Highness.”

Contrary to Marhel’s expectation that Felicia would be too shocked to move, she walked confidently up to him, bowed her head, and asked for forgiveness. When she looked up to meet Marhel’s gaze, her smile was gone for the first time in her life.

“Please give me a chance.”

Felicia clasped her hands politely, secretly gripping the front of her dress behind them.

‘Someday, Marhel will love me.’

It was the phrase she’d repeated all her life. But the wish she’d devoted her life to was denied because of her name. This was not something Felicia had planned for. She couldn’t lose Marhel over something so trivial.

“…A chance?”

“Couldn’t I make your feelings matter someday, Your Highness?”

Now pale as if she might collapse, Felicia pleaded for a chance, using the power of the name that was being used to reject her. Her desperate heart bound Marhel like a strong rope.

Marhel pulled down the gold-embroidered necktie around his neck with one hand and turned his body fully toward Felicia. His gaze was filled only with her. Not a chance. Marhel had no intention of submitting to the great name of Akuris, not even in death.

“If you truly want a chance, you should learn how to spend the night with someone else.”

Their unfamiliar expressions met. Marhel walked closer, narrowing the distance between their gazes. Felicia did not avoid him or his gaze. When Marhel was close enough for their toes to touch, the night air cooled her shoulders, making them blush even more than her clothes. Foolishly, she once thought she wanted to protect him. Did she ever imagine that she would come to dislike the owner of those shoulders so much?

“……”

“Shouldn’t you use something other than your name, something you were born with?”

Tracing the tightly bound line of Felicia’s waist with his fingertips, Marhel slowly ran his hands down, then grasped her waist with both hands and pulled her toward him. Then, like a gentle lover, he stroked around her waist with his thumbs. All that touched was the cloth and the hard corset beneath, but his touch felt as if it caressed what was hidden beneath. It was slow and persistent.

“……”

“Besides, I find it easier to use my body than my heart.”

His voice, lower than usual, seemed to resonate inside Felicia, carried by the wind held in Marhel’s grip. As if nothing could surprise him, Marhel held Felicia tighter when she tried to retreat, then leaned in, pressing his forehead to hers.

At the same eye level, Felicia met his fiercely shining gaze and saw sincerity without a hint of falsehood. But all Felicia could do was reflect her unwavering vow in eyes filled with stubbornness and resentment.

Felicia took Marhel’s hand in both of hers. Releasing his grip, she knelt before him, then pressed her forehead to the back of his hand.

“I will do as you wish, Your Highness.”

‘If that’s what it takes for you to love me, anything. As you wish.’

Felicia swallowed her last words, facing the sincerity he revealed for the first time.