Yunjoo had no idea what her own face looked like. The sorrowful one wasn’t the lotus flower. It was her. She had fixed her dark eyes on the lotus with an intensity that unsettled the person standing beside her.

“Ms. Yunjoo.”

“Oh, did I look a little pitiful just now? I guess I did. Alright, on to the next spot!”

Yunjoo had been drifting far away, but the sound of her name snapped her back, and she quickly changed her expression. But Sihyeong had already seen the shadow pass over her face. 

He had carved out time from his packed schedule to bring her here because he was tired of seeing her under these vague, undefined terms. He knew how he felt, yet he couldn’t say it. He wanted to look after her, yet he couldn’t do that either. And Yunjoo was giving off an air that made it impossible to bring anything up.

Sihyeong thought back to what Yunjoo had said about him. She had called him thoughtful and kind. But that wasn’t who he was. He wasn’t the type to be especially at ease with female actresses, even as colleagues. Yet Yunjoo had said she liked him because he was that kind of person. 

Sihyeong let out a quiet, dry laugh. She was someone who showed none of herself and tried just as hard not to see others clearly. Yunjoo had the wrong idea about him, but he also realized he had the wrong idea about her.

Her smile was not the whole of her. Whatever her circumstances were, there was something Yunjoo kept locked away somewhere deep. Thinking that he could be a source of strength for her if she came to him, Sihyeong deliberately raised his voice and caught up to Yunjoo as she walked ahead.

“Ms. Yunjoo, let’s go to the sculpture garden. I think you’ll find something there too.”

“Really? But I like how small and cozy this place is.”

“Isn’t it really that there are no people here?”

“Caught me. I’m not used to people staring, and being recognized is even worse.”

“But you said we’re friends. Shouldn’t a real friend be able to put up with at least that much?”

“Ugh, did you just hit the nail on the head? That stings, but I’ll still pass.”

“Excuse me?”

Heh heh heh, ha ha ha. Their laughter rang out loud. Yunjoo stepped into the sculpture garden with a grin and turned back to look at Sihyeong.

“I’ve seen this place on TV a lot.”

“Right. That’s how I knew about it too.”

Along both sides of the wide walking path, sculptures of Greek mythological figures stood in rows, Venus and Nike among them, and from the central fountain in the middle, a steady stream of water shot up into the air. Seeing Yunjoo’s eyes go wide with delight, Sihyeong smiled too. This face was far better than the one from a moment ago.

“If I’d known you’d enjoy this so much, I should have brought you out sooner.”

“I thought you weren’t the type to have that kind of free time.”

“Even I have moments when I want to.”

“I picked a good friend.”

“Even one with no loyalty?”

“And no love either.”

Yunjoo said it with a wink, and Sihyeong suddenly took her hand and started walking somewhere. Startled by him pulling her along so abruptly, Yunjoo tried to stop him.

“Mr. Sihyeong, I’ll follow you, so let go.”

“……”

“Mr. Sihyeong!”

The place Sihyeong led her to was a spot where the trees arched overhead and formed a tunnel. Only after stepping inside did he let go of her hand and turn to face her. This kind of atmosphere made her uneasy. Yunjoo turned her head and avoided his eyes at the shift in his mood.

This was exactly what she had been trying to prevent with all the joking around, all the talk of friendship and loyalty. It had all been for nothing. Now what?

“Ms. Yunjoo, look at me and hear me out.”

“Mr. Sihyeong.”

She didn’t want to hear it. But she also knew she couldn’t avoid the man standing right in front of her. She slowly turned her eyes toward him at his words, and there was Sihyeong, looking at her with an intensity that made it hard to breathe. Yunjoo didn’t want to hear what he was about to say. More than that, she didn’t want to know. But she had a feeling he had made up his mind. Even with Yunjoo’s pleading eyes on him, Sihyeong pretended not to notice.

“Ms. Yunjoo, do you know what kind of trees these are? They’re yew trees.”

“Are they?”

“Yew trees live a thousand years and stand for a thousand more after they die. That’s why this is a place where lovers make their vows.”

“Oh…”

A place to pledge love. She could not be that kind of lover to Sihyeong. The answer was already set, yet the look in his eyes was desperate.

“Ms. Cha Yunjoo, I’m not the good person you think I am. I was only that way because it was you.”

“Mr. Sihyeong, wait!”

She had to stop him. Once the words were out, she truly would not be able to see him anymore. He watched Yunjoo try urgently to cut him off, but he didn’t stop.

“No, hear me out first. I see you as a woman. From the very first day I met you, you were a woman to me. So I won’t be your friend, Ms. Yunjoo.”

Having started, Sihyeong let out everything he had been pressing down without holding back.

“Mr. Sihyeong, I don’t want to be someone’s woman or anything like that. There’s something I want to do. I want to be free while I do it. And I’m not someone who deserves your feelings.”

“Whatever it is you want to do, I’ll help you.”

“Mr. Sihyeong, I want to leave this country. I want to fly free.”

“Ms. Yunjoo, what do you mean…?”

It was the last thing he had expected. It had never once crossed his mind that Yunjoo was thinking about leaving the country. He had assumed she was more than satisfied with her work and enjoying it. Hearing the word leave come out of her mouth threw him off completely.

“I can’t tell you everything right now, but when the time comes, I’ll make sure to tell you. So take what you just said as something not heard, and something not said.”

“Ms. Yunjoo.”

“I barely have any friends, so becoming friends with Mr. Sangyun and you meant so much to me. Does this mean I’ve lost one friend today?”

A sad shadow fell over Yunjoo’s eyes.

“Ms. Yunjoo, tell me what’s going on.”

“I can’t say anything right now. I’m sorry.”

Watching Yunjoo look at him with a face full of pain and ask whether she had lost a friend, Sihyeong found he couldn’t say another word. His plan had been to tell her he would stay by her side no matter what, but Yunjoo had made that impossible. She was looking at him with a face so genuinely, deeply sorry that it stopped him cold. Sihyeong looked at that face and gave a small smile.

“Ms. Yunjoo, alright. Don’t make that face.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Sihyeong.”

“It’s not something you need to be sorry for. Then don’t cut off my feelings all at once. Just keep them in mind. And promise me that when the time comes for you to talk, you’ll tell me.”

“I will. I’m really sorry, Mr. Sihyeong.”

“Ms. Yunjoo, from now on, no more apologies. And I’ll be your friend for the time being, so don’t feel too down about it.”

“Mr. Sihyeong.”

Yunjoo looked at him, feeling terrible that she couldn’t tell him everything. She couldn’t tell him she was married, couldn’t tell him who her husband was. She couldn’t say any of it.

‘Mr. Sihyeong, once everything is settled and the day comes for me to leave this country, I’ll tell you everything.’

“Ms. Cha Yunjoo, I’m not normally the type to be friends with someone I have feelings for, so this is something special I’m doing for you. But that doesn’t mean this is the end. I’ll be here as a friend out of loyalty to you, but on my end, it’s love.”

“Mr. Sihyeong.”

“If you start avoiding me just because I said I love you, you’ll hear about it. Starting tomorrow, I’ll drop everything and become your stalker.”

She was grateful he hadn’t pressed further, and even more grateful he had stepped back at this point. Either way, her heart was in turmoil. Seeing Sihyeong going forward wouldn’t be easy, but since he had made clear he wouldn’t let her avoid him, that seemed difficult too.

On the drive back, she kept her head turned toward the window, pretending to watch the scenery pass by, but her mind was tangled and her thoughts a mess. Kangwook, who had changed in ways she couldn’t explain ever since she brought up the divorce, and Sihyeong, who was drawing closer to her like this. Both of them weighed on her.