At some point Burke had slipped out, and now he was nowhere to be seen.

Ethan figured they must have taken him to his own guild building while he was unconscious – the room he was in looked familiar.

Slowly moving his eyes, he scanned the area.

The infirmary, usually too cramped and always hot from overcrowding, felt strangely cool now that it was just him and If – the same If that had been pushing him away all this time.

Silent tears dripped steadily, soaking the hem of her skirt.

If he wiped them away with his hand, he might scratch her sensitive skin again. Instead, Ethan reached for the edge of the sheet covering him and gently pressed it to her tear-stained cheek.

But she shook her head, hard enough to push his hand away.

She was close – close enough to reach if he only stretched out his arm.

But she hadn’t given him permission.

So his hand fell weakly to the side.

Only one arm fell from the bed – only one arm.

The absence of his right arm, lost again, didn’t really matter.

It had never really been his to begin with.

She was the one who had made it, so it made sense that she would be the one to take it away.

‘Still… it’s a bit of a shame I can’t hold her with both arms.’

“Hic.”
“…”

Ethan instinctively reached out his hand, but she turned her head away, avoiding his touch.

Watching her stubbornly let her tears fall, Ethan closed his mouth.

She often paid attention to other people’s actions—
but she never really understood why they did the things they did.

Nor did she care to.

“Then teach me again, Ethan.”
:”If Ethan touches me, it’ll be okay.”

Every shift in her emotions—all of it stemmed from him.

Ethan opened and closed his empty hand.

The hardened calluses were the marks of years of fighting just to survive.

He had let his guard down.

He’d never had anyone to protect before, never had a place to return to, so it all felt strange and difficult.

He had always fought with everything he had, just to get out alive.

But this time, in his haste to return… he had stopped watching his enemy.

There was no way someone like that – someone who had come all the way here – would have fought without a plan.

“Are you hurt anywhere?”

“You’re the one who’s hurt, Ethan.”

Her answer came back firmly.

Still, Ethan’s eyes carefully scanned every part of her body.

Watching him, If furrowed her brow.

“I’ve never been in danger – not even once.”

“What do you mean, never.”

He still couldn’t forget what he’d seen that day –

her shoulder pierced by a knife, blood dripping.

The horror he’d failed to prevent by not protecting her in time was burned into his mind.

And yet she said she’d never been in danger –

not knowing how close she’d come.

She had no idea how it drove him mad just to watch her.

“It’s your fault, Ethan…!”

Ethan’s eyes widened at her raised voice.

Just by shouting a single sentence, she was already panting, her breathing ragged and uneven.

“It’s nothing, I’m telling you. Injuries like this don’t even count.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d passed out like this.

Losing an arm? Among mercenaries, that was practically routine. Better to lose a limb than your life.

Most of the scars that once covered his body – now gone – were from battles like this.

The rest were from t*rture.

He had so many scars he couldn’t even remember what had caused each one.

“If you’re so weak, why do you keep going off on your own?”

The body that had always been so warm… grew cold in his arms.

The eyes that once burned with heat when he looked at her no longer reflected her.

He no longer smiled at her.

He no longer held her in his arms.

He lay there with his eyes closed, completely still – it felt as if he would never get up again, as if he would just rot and wither away.

“I hate you, Ethan…”

What he’d taught her hadn’t just been nice feelings.

She hadn’t known what their war was really about.

It didn’t bother her that they fought and bled.

The mercenaries wanted to protect Rigo and the enemy wanted to take him.

She could understand that disputes here were not settled with words, but with violence.

That was the rule of this place.

Because in this world, they said, that was the way things were done.

It had nothing to do with her, so she never paid much attention to it.

In her world, it was a natural right to do what she wanted.

So she let Ethan do what he wanted.

Even if it meant spending less time with her – that was fine.

She put up with it.

Because his eyes sparkled when he concentrated on something else.

Because the way he acted around others was different to the way he acted with her.

Because when it was all over… he would come back and hold her.

So she waited.

“I really hate you…”

There were no other words she could say.

Her vocabulary was too soft to curse anyone,

and she didn’t know enough to fully express what she was feeling.

So instead of overwhelming emotions, tears fell, endlessly.

With his eyes closed, he didn’t react when she called his name.

Even though he had always looked at her.

Even though he had always responded.

She didn’t understand – because she had never lost anything before.

This was the first time she had connected with anyone.

Not knowing how much of a person one should carry in one’s heart,

she had filled her whole world with Ethan.

This first taste of loss was so immense, it felt like her whole body had been ripped open.

So much that she could barely stand it.

“I hate you…”

She lowered her head and poured out her anger.

Tears fell from under her hair, tangled like threads.

Ethan watched her and parted his lips.

For someone who didn’t know a single curse word, those were probably the harshest words she could manage.

“I’m sorry. You’re going to faint. Come on, stop crying, OK?”

Her hand, gripping the sheet tightly, trembled with an effort she couldn’t control.

The hand he carefully reached out couldn’t quite make it – and fell quietly back.

“You’re mean, Ethan.”

“Then… shall I disappear from your sight?”

At his words, If lifted her head quickly.

Her vision was blurred by the tears that wouldn’t stop.

“Why…”

A heavy swell rose from her chest, cutting off her voice mid-sentence.

The last of her tears, clinging to her lashes, finally fell with a soft drop.

“It’s my fault.”

“Hic…”

“Your eyes are all swollen. I’ll just wipe them, that’s all. And if crying makes you tired… I’ll just hold you.”

Ethan opened his arms and gave a faint smile.

As weak as he was with her, she was weak with him.

Her small body settled naturally into his embrace and he gently pressed the back of his hand to her swollen eyes, wiping away the tears.

He had said it a little harshly.

Startled, she had stopped crying – but the mention of his disappearance must have bothered her, because this time she didn’t avoid his touch.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re mean…”

“I know.”

Ethan held her close and patted her back slowly.

If he’d had both arms, he could have held her tighter – but with only one, he had to be extra careful.

Her small body collapsed against him, completely exhausted.

Ethan steadied her with a firm shoulder and held her close.

“She’s finally asleep.”

Burke entered the room without a sound, not even the noise of the door, and raised both hands to meet Ethan’s suspicious gaze.

“How long have I been out?”

“It’s only been two days since you collapsed.

Well, the young lady hasn’t slept or eaten in that time.”

Ethan frowned at the words.

“Seriously, who told you to use brute force against such an artefact? You should be thankful you’re still alive.”

Ethan didn’t look at him, but stared at his side with a strange feeling.

“Did she heal me?”

“Don’t even get me started. First your arm fell apart, then the pieces moved on their own and wouldn’t let me treat your wounds. It was chaos.”

“Figures.”

He’d panicked too, the first time he’d seen her.

He’d thought she’d got rid of his right arm because she hated him – but after hearing her side of the story, that clearly wasn’t the case.

“It was really chaos. When I got there, you were dying and the artefact was targeting you. Why would you do something so reckless? Well, I guess with your personality, staying was never really an option – but still, you should have. You should have thought about what would happen afterwards.”

If he’d just fired a flare, he probably wouldn’t have been hurt so badly. 

And it was unlike him to lunge at someone so suspicious. 

“……” 

He should have been more careful – 

not let his anger get the better of him just because she was the one being attacked. 

Ethan smiled bitterly as he looked at her, sleeping uncomfortably. 

If he’d still had both arms, he could have put her down properly – but even that was beyond him now.

“Sigh… Well, the artefact is taken care of. The moment the young lady stepped in, it was over in an instant.”

Frankly, it made all the fighting up to that point seem pointless.

He was reminded once again of what it meant to be one of the Ancients.

“This is ridiculous. What the hell was all our effort for?”

A crushing sense of helplessness.

What use were words when the war could be ended with a wave of the hand?

This wasn’t a war – it was a game of flag pulling.

A game to see who would pull the flag that said ‘Ancient Human’.

Power, rank, title – none of it mattered.

It was so overwhelming.

At Burke’s bitter complaint, Ethan smoothly pulled the sheet up to cover If’s shoulder.

“That’s why I didn’t want to bring her.”

Because as soon as a god gets involved in a fight between humans, it turns into chaos.

She had that kind of power – but she didn’t understand human wickedness.

A girl who accepted everything without question.

Even if everything was taken away from her by humans, she would never really realise it and end up being used.

Burke already knew about the relationship between Ethan and her.

Even if his own wife had that kind of power, he wouldn’t have tried to use it for war.

Scratching his cheek awkwardly, Burke let out a sigh.

“If it hadn’t been for that artefact, we would have won.”

“Probably. So I collapse – then what?”

Ethan’s question was blunt, almost cold.

Burke frowned, then clicked his tongue.

Not that Ethan ever said anything nice.

“We agreed to split up and investigate, remember?”