Chapter 10

“Ah…….”

A regretful sigh slipped from Kina.

“I will prepare more tea for you.”

At the same time as the maid returned with the tea, Bersha came into the drawing room just then.

Raon returned to his usual face as though he had never worn that expression at all. Expressionless and indifferent, without a trace of what could be called tenderness.

“What were you doing? Ah, the jewel! It’s pretty, right?”

Bersha lifted the brilliantly shining red diamond and held it to her neck. But unlike her smiling face, her hand was trembling faintly. Enough for everyone sitting there to notice.

“It suits you well.”

Raon’s voice, on the other hand, remained calm. That was why Kina found it even harder to look away from him. Because she now understood how much he was hiding his feelings at this moment, and how dearly he was truly looking at Bersha.

“I…… should be going first.”

Kina hurriedly rose from her seat.

“Kina.”

She saw the surprised faces of both Raon and Bersha, but this was not a place for her to remain. She came out as if fleeing. She wanted to go as far away from where the two of them were as possible. But unlike her heart’s desire, she could not even fully leave the empty corridor with no one in it before she stopped walking.

The two of them were only pretending to be calm, soothing themselves that way. Even now, their hearts had not changed at all.

It was the moment Kina painfully realized that she truly was nothing more than a stand-in for those two. It was the moment when the slight hope that had settled deep in her heart after the relationship that had seemed as though it would last forever had gone astray turned into embarrassment.

Because of Kina’s sudden departure, Bersha and Raon were left alone and grew flustered. Even though they had surely spent no small amount of time alone together before, they realized once again that their relationship with each other had changed.

“Until the wedding, Imperial Knights will be helping you. I only stopped by for a moment to tell you that.”

Raon hurriedly rose as well. Now that Kina, who would have stayed with them, was gone, he knew how many rumors their meeting could cause. That was what their changed relationship was like.

“Raon.”

Bersha’s voice caught at him as he was about to leave. Why did it hurt her heart so much to see him looking as though he were fleeing? Bersha felt as though she might cry. She tried to smile in front of him, but it was not easy.

“You’ll…… keep helping, right?”

If he turned around now, he would probably notice her tears. But Raon did not turn.

“……Whenever you wish, if you call for me, I will come running.”

With only those words delivered, he left. Only after the door had closed did Bersha collapse where she was and cry. And through the closed door, Raon could hear the muffled sound of her sobbing. He could no longer wipe away her tears.

* * *

The next time Kina and Raon met again was on a street lined with shops.

Kina was looking at bolts of cloth for making fabric. They were gifts she intended to send to the poorhouses that had taken in the children. If she sent more cloth, there would be enough to make clothes even for the children who had originally been there.

As Kina carefully chose while touching the cloth with her hands, a heavy noise reached her ears. It was the sound of a carriage stopping. Soon a small disturbance arose outside. It was not the sound of only one or two people.

“We have come to retrieve goods to be taken to the Imperial Palace.”

Kina, who had continued with what she was doing even amid the commotion, looked up. And as someone came into the shop and stopped beside her, their eyes met. It was Raon. The memory of the last time they had seen each other came back, and both he and Kina grew flustered.

“We have prepared them inside. Could you follow me for a moment?”

At the shop owner’s request, the uniformed Knights who had come with Raon disappeared inside. Only Raon and Kina remained in the shop, and an awkwardness lingered.

It was extremely rare for him to come to a shop in person. Unless it was for a special case, for example, decorating the residence meant as a gift for Bersha.

Kina idly touched the cloth she meant to buy and stole a glance at Raon standing beside her. He was looking at the fabric. It was cloth with an exceptionally soft feel as it flowed through his hand. Glancing at his expression as he carefully touched it, Kina understood at once. He was thinking of Bersha now. The same smile she had seen at the Crown Princess Palace rested at the corner of his lips.

Kina knew that this, too, fell into that ‘special’ situation for Bersha.

Though he loved her so deeply, Raon was outside rather than at the palace where Bersha was. Even though the commander of the Imperial Knights had no need to come all the way to a place like this.

To Kina’s eyes, he looked as though he were running away. Like someone who thought of Bersha even from the smallest object and yet wandered, unable to adjust to the changed situation. At least, that was how it looked in Kina’s eyes.

“Your Grace.”

Just as before, unable to take her eyes off his actions, Kina called to Raon. It was an impulsive call made without deep thought. And then she spread out the cloth and draped it over his shoulders.

“It’s warm, right?”

When buying fabric, if one draped it over like this, it was easy to tell whether it suited someone or not, and one could directly feel the texture too. It was something she often did.

“They say the material used to make this cloth takes time to produce. And that only after spending that time does it become the finest quality.”

Raon watched Kina idly touching the end of the cloth resting over his shoulders.

“There are times like that, aren’t there. Things that inevitably require time. Things made that way, and then finding the owner who suits them.”

His gaze naturally turned to her. Kina was speaking calmly, but clearly. Her eyes were not on Raon, but on the cloth over his shoulder.

“Just as even a small object is shaped by passing time, and in the end finds the owner who suits it.”

Throughout everything she said, she had not met his eyes, but now she slowly raised her gaze to his.

“Everything is bound to flow on anyway. Your Grace, your time, my time, and even this cloth as well.”

She herself did not really know why she was saying such things to Raon. It was only that all she could infer had to do with his feelings.

“So sometimes, just let things flow as they will.”

Even if his heart, faced with a suddenly changed situation, could not find its direction and wandered, she wanted to tell him that whichever way that heart eventually turned, letting it flow that way was not wrong at all.

“And if you drape it like this, they say it’s easy to tell whether the cloth suits the clothes or not.”

As though draping a shawl over the shoulders of a noble lady, she adjusted the cloth that hung carelessly over his shoulders so that it sat neatly, then lightly patted it with her hand as though dusting it off.

“It suits you well, Your Grace.”

His pain would not disappear, but if he endured the present well, then as Chris had said, the time for the two of them to love would eventually come.

The feelings she had experienced a few days ago seemed almost meaningless now, and she found herself wishing that he would become happy. And so, unlike a few days before, a somewhat lighter smile came from Kina.

Raon gave no answer for quite a long while. Just as she began to wonder whether he might think her presumptuous,

“Everything is ready.”

Thankfully, the shop owner, who had loaded all the goods, changed the atmosphere.

“It seems everything is ready. Then I should excuse myself as well.”

Standing facing Raon, Kina naturally offered a farewell and disappeared as though fleeing. Without buying the cloth she had meant to purchase.

Raon stared blankly at Kina’s retreating figure. Then he took hold of the cloth resting on his shoulders and gathered it into his hand.