-45-

I will definitely burn your hair next time.

“Phew.”

I took a deep breath and gathered the energy of nature. Since it didn’t seem like it would work well in an artificial place, I went out to the garden. Can you really feel mana or whatever by doing this?

“If you take your time and try to feel it consciously, you will know at some point.”

Won’t it take about a hundred years to feel it at this rate? By then, my body would have already returned to nature. Yeah, by then, I would be one with nature.

“Linda Selbaum.”

Even on my 50th attempt, all I could see were the well-groomed trees and flowers, meticulously tended by the gardener.

Mary had told me that Roan had already left. Normally, he would still be at the mansion at this time. Did he leave early to deal with the mess I made yesterday?

Yeah, right. The voice in my head saying “that’s right” must be a hallucination.

When I reached my 90th attempt and 90th failure of the day, I was almost at the point of resignation. If there was even the slightest reaction, I would keep trying, but it felt like banging my head against a wall.

Am I learning how to abandon futile hope rather than magic? Is this Jafflin’s grand lesson in life? Haha. I let out a bitter laugh. Maybe I’ve gone a bit mad.

“What the heck.”

Sigh.

I turned around at the sudden clear voice. The owner of the voice was none other than Alexandra. Come to think of it, I hadn’t seen her since the banquet yesterday.

Despite seeing her for the first time since then, Alexandra’s face was calm as if she didn’t remember anything from yesterday.

“Al…, mother?”

Oops. Since I think of her by her name, I almost called her by it. That would have been disrespectful. Whew.

“Are you feeling better?”

“Yes. I wasn’t really sick anyway.”

Maybe my mental state was affected, but except for a slight scrape on my forehead, I wasn’t physically hurt.

“Oh. But.”

I suddenly felt a sense of incongruity at Alexandra’s words and soon realized what it was.

She was suddenly speaking to me in a less formal manner. It wasn’t rude, so I didn’t feel bad, but it was unfamiliar enough to make me stop and look at her.

Alexandra noticed my hesitation and spoke.

“Why? Don’t you like me speaking this way?”

“No, haha. It’s just a bit strange.”

“There’s much for you to find strange.”

She smiled with an ambiguous expression that could be a sneer or genuine amusement. It was hard to tell if she was mocking me or sincerely thinking that.

“What were you doing? It’s the first time I’ve seen you in the garden since you came to this mansion.”

“I was trying to feel the energy of nature… How exactly do you do that?”

At my response, Alexandra’s face turned thoughtful. She spoke with a tone that suggested it was obvious.

“Nature? You just feel it.”

It was like telling someone hesitant on a bungee jump platform to just jump, or telling someone who failed a test to just study. If I could just feel it, I wouldn’t be struggling.

“How can you do that…”

My words trailed off in helplessness.

“There are things in the world that you come to realize naturally, like flowing water.”

Alexandra’s expression reminded me of something Jafflin once said. Curious, I listened attentively.

“Even things you never thought you’d feel, even things you didn’t want to feel.”

She spoke calmly, looking straight ahead, seemingly at the green leaves in front of her, but her gaze felt like it was focused on something unreachable.

“How much more for you who earnestly desire it. Don’t worry too much.”

Oddly enough, her words calmed my previously restless heart like a gentle breeze.

“You were quite reckless yesterday. I saw a glimpse of your old self.”

“You know… my old self?”

Weren’t they not very close?

“Why do you sound like someone who’s lost their memory? Of course, I know. After all, you were supposed to be my daughter-in-law.”

“Such interest…”

I didn’t expect that.

“Don’t be too flustered. Some degree of evil is necessary in life.”

But wasn’t Delis taking it too far? Such malice didn’t seem necessary. It seemed like it would only lead to anger and nothing else.

“Hmph, you say that because of Roan. The Marchioness’ actions yesterday were clearly wrong. Honestly, isn’t that right? Don’t you think even a mother…. would think so?”

I impulsively asked her. Maybe she would respond negatively and sternly. Given that she had accepted an illegitimate child despite being infertile, I thought she would never speak kindly about bastards. Yet, for some reason, I couldn’t suppress my urge to ask at that moment.

However, Alexandra’s response was completely unexpected.

“Do you love that child?”

Her eyes held a paradoxical mix of dryness and flowing spring water as she asked. The question sounded obscure.

“What do you mean?”

“Exactly what I said. Do you love that child?”

Wasn’t that an obvious question? What other reason would there be for me to accept this world so willingly? If Roan hadn’t been here, I might have felt a greater sense of estrangement between this place and the world I used to live in, and might not have adapted as well.

And even if I hadn’t first encountered Roan in the book, I might have fallen for him had we met somewhere else for the first time. I felt that certainty.

“Of course!”

Alexandra let out a brief smile in response to my emphatic voice.

“…I shouldn’t have asked. I should have known from then.”

“From then?”

“When you charged at the Marchioness like a mad dog yesterday.”

“A mad dog…?”

I guess it’s fortunate she didn’t outright call me a dog.

“So, how does that child feel about you?”

Roan…?

I thought of Roan these days, who seemed completely different from before. I had thought it before, but Roan certainly didn’t seem to dislike me anymore. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be kissing me… ahem.

Given Roan’s personality, that’s even more unlikely. Even if he doesn’t feel the exact same way as I do, I think he likes me.

“Even if the intensity of our feelings might differ, I think Roan likes me too.”

“Hmm.”

Alexandra let out a long hum as if pondering deeply.

“Unrequited love is worse than not loving at all.”

“I’m receiving more than enough in return.”

“From where?”

“Just having the heart to love is already a reward. Love makes people happy, whether it’s reciprocated or not.”

“…”

Alexandra fell silent for a moment after hearing my words. With her long eyelashes lowered and her lips closed, she looked melancholic. After a while, she still didn’t lift her gaze but slightly smiled with a sigh.

“…Pfft, the fact that you can say such things is proof that your heart has already been rewarded.”

“What?”

“You’re blessed.”

Alexandra’s face, which always reminded me of Roan, said with a certain chilliness.

At that moment, a strong wind blew through the garden, rustling the grass. I quickly fixed the strands of hair that had blown forward.

Maybe you’re right, I thought as I let her words drift away on the wind.

***

“Ha, hahaha.”

“…Please stop laughing. Ma…ster.”

I called Jafflin, gritting my teeth. From the moment he saw my face earlier, he had burst into laughter and hadn’t stopped since. Laughing and then stopping, only to laugh again. He said he had arrived at the banquet hall when I and the redhead started fighting. As soon as he entered, he was confused by the serious atmosphere, only to find me and the redhead pulling each other’s hair.

“At that moment, I genuinely thought the Marchioness had gone mad.”

“Who’s mad? The mad one is that red…, the Marchioness.”

“Did the Marchioness Nocturne do something wrong? Then why did you fight so fiercely? Everyone who saw the scene went silent, they say.”

Most people who heard the story would have kept their mouths shut out of fear. No one would want to take sides. They wouldn’t want to walk the tightrope between the Nocturne family and the Bannister family. Although the Bannister Dukedom held much more power, the problem was that the social world wasn’t absolutely dictated by such power structures.

The people who heard the story were, unfortunately, noblewomen who lived as if the social world was their entire world, unable to feel the power firsthand. The Marchioness Nocturne had quite an established position in the social circle, so many would find it difficult if they fell out of her favor.

“She provoked me greatly.”

“Provoked? That’s interesting. Usually, you wouldn’t respond actively to such provocations.”

“Hmm… That’s true. Normally, I wouldn’t.”

“So there was a reason.”

“Exactly.”

TL NOTE: More advanced chapter of this story is already up on the site. Visit dusk blossoms for more advanced chapters and stories