Chapter 32

It was a rare warm day.

He was lying on a long sofa, using soft thighs as a pillow. Next to his head, the sound of turning pages, occasional small breaths, and warmth wrapped around him.

He wished he could stay like this forever. In his favorite dream.

He had found something he liked. Small things, but things that made up who he was. Just that thought made Dieldo feel he could keep living.

He looked up at the one he liked the most. As her brown hair slipped down, she lifted her hand to brush it aside. When their eyes met, she smiled.

She said,

“I’m going to be like my mom and dad.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’m going to make a family!”

“Are you stupid?”

He wanted to say something nice, but what came out was a bit rough.

“That kind of thing is meaningless.”

“Why?”

She asked in return at his firm statement. Her face was cute and innocent… now that he looked, she seemed younger than he remembered. Maybe about ten years old.

On the other hand, he too had a young face, maybe also around ten.

“Do you have any brothers or sisters? I do.”

“No…”

“See? You don’t know.”

He criticized his younger self for acting like a know-it-all kid lecturing someone.

Of course, in some corner of his heart, he thought these two he’d never met and might never meet looked cute. He had always been famous for his looks even as a child, but Amber’s childhood was unbelievably adorable.

Yes, the child was Amber. He could be sure.

The freckles on her cheeks, like sprinkled star dust, and her curly hair fit perfectly.

“But I do have a mom and dad…”

She pouted, upset.

“I have that too. Oh, not a mom. But I have a d*mn older brother.”

“That’s a bad word!”

“D*mn? Or brother?”

“Both are bad!”

Her indignation amused him, and he chuckled. This was the first time he’d had such childish banter with Amber.

“Yeah, I’m bad. My mom died because of me anyway.”

“……”

“Why? Surprised?”

He leaned toward her round eyes, grinning mischievously, even threateningly.

“My mom, I killed her.”

“……”

“Making a family is pointless. You’ll just die having a kid like me.”

“Why do you say that?”

Her face turned red as she demanded to know.

“Why are you so mean?”

“Because I’m bad…”

“You don’t want to say mean things, so why do you keep doing it?”

His face flushed at her words. She’d read his heart.

Amber’s face was red too. After a moment, she pushed him away and jumped up. All he could see was the pink of her ears as she turned her back. She lifted both arms and rubbed her eyes with her sleeves, her voice a bit wet.

“Don’t say things like that. I… don’t have a mom either.”

From that, he realized he’d touched her wound.

“Sorry.”

Amber shook her head at his short apology. Then she spun around, looking at him with obviously tearful eyes.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You too.”

“Yeah.”

They exchanged clumsy comfort without knowing each other’s circumstances. Then, on a whim, he said,

“Your freckles are cute.”

“Huh?”

“Like star dust.”

At that moment, voices called for him from far away. “Prince, Prince Dieldo!”

Ten-year-old Dieldo sighed, obviously annoyed. Amber noticed he was busy and grabbed his hand, shaking it.

“Thank you for playing with me!”

Such a cute thank you.

Finally, he remembered everything. His nanny had brought him outside because he was bored, and he’d snuck away from her and the guards to meet this girl. Her name was the same as “Amber Sweetheart,” who had performed at the palace recently.

They’d played house. At ten, playing with a girl his age wasn’t really his thing, but he’d enjoyed it.

So, in short, it was a strange dream. Or maybe not a dream. It was something that really happened. A fleeting memory he’d forgotten. Both of them had brushed past it in childhood.

Young Dieldo slowly turned around. Where those calling for him should have been, there was nothing. It was time to go back.

And then, he opened his eyes.

…The sound of rain falling. Damp air.

As he came to, his stomach churned and his head spun. He closed his eyes tightly, then opened them.

D*mn, he really almost died.

He’d suspected, but it was a dizzying experience. Yet, he thought, “Life’s not so bad,” because the face he wanted to see was right in front of him. In his dream, and now.

What was this… But seeing her sleeping with her face buried in her arms made it look like she’d nursed him all night.

“Am…ber.”

He managed to speak, his voice cracked. Amber, half asleep, lifted her head and, seeing him, opened her eyes wide.

“George, you’re awake? Can you see me?”

Amber leaned in, checking his condition.

How has this woman not changed at all since childhood? He looked up at her freckles and lovely curly hair, marveling as if he hadn’t just come back from death. Then he chuckled, because she’d unconsciously called him by his name.

She’d called him George before he collapsed, too. She hadn’t lost her memory—she’d just pretended…

He found it so cute, Dieldo barely managed to stretch his lips into a smile. He thought he was hiding it well… but Amber suddenly bit her lip and glared at him, like he was her worst enemy.

“Hm?”

Why is she acting like this?

A moment later, Amber’s resentment burst out.

“So… are you a Prince, or a d*ldo?”

“I’m a Prince, but also a d*ldo.”

“…Really.”

“Amber, let me be a d*ldo for you.”

Dieldo’s playful reply made Amber’s face twist even more.

“I’ve got nothing but my body. So.”

So this was all he could do. She had to let him be her d*ldo.

Amber’s head dropped at the implication, and something began to fall onto the blanket.

Drip, drop…

“You’re not really a tool, though.”

“Amber?”

‘Is she crying? Amber? For me?’

“What if I couldn’t make the antidote, what if I didn’t know how—what would you have done?”

“That wouldn’t happen.”

“I thought I’d never see you again, how much…”

“How much what?”

Dieldo managed to look happy for someone lying sick in bed. Amber still liked him. She was crying for someone like him. She’d tried so hard to save him.

He spoke again, his voice a bit excited.

“Amber, you saved me again. Did you know?”

“And you say that now.”

“I knew it would turn out like this.”

“Da…mn…”

Seeing Amber suddenly burst into tears, his eyes widened. Amber cried out loud, like a child, as if just relieved he’d woken up.

“Don’t cry.”

“I don’t care!”

Amber shouted. The man who kept smiling seemed so stupid. All for that idiot…

For Amber, it had been a long, hard wait. Dieldo had collapsed and lost consciousness right before her eyes. And the reason was probably the exchanged cup. The one that should have been hers. Her hands shook. She couldn’t think straight. If she’d drunk that wine, if she had… After Dieldo was carried away, Amber just stared into space.

It was only after the Imperial Princess summoned her that Amber understood the situation.

“It was planned from the start, and the Prince agreed. There was no choice, to completely get rid of the Sperado family.”

“Planned?”

“He drank knowingly. My plan was a bit different, though.”

The Princess had expected the young Marquis of Sperado to act. He was always hot-tempered, unable to keep things inside. He saw Amber as a thorn in his side, and it was only natural he’d try something like this eventually. After all, he was of a major noble’s family, and Amber was just a minor noble from a small Kingdom.

Dieldo had realized it.

He offered a better card. In exchange, he suggested the Princess leave handling the young Marquis to him.

He also demanded that half the profits from the research go to Amber, but after some negotiation, she received a thirty percent share. It was a deal to make sure Amber got her fair share for her involvement.

Hearing this, Amber was dumbfounded. So dumbfounded, she almost cried.

Who are you to do this? Why would you, a d*ldo, do something like that?

Even so, Amber couldn’t rest. She had to make the antidote. She identified the poison the young Marquis had tried to give her and added the right antidote ingredient. During that time, she had to face her feelings for him all over again.

To love someone means putting something else before yourself… But it wasn’t just Amber. There were people who threw themselves in completely. Even more foolishly, pathetically…

Amber made the antidote with trembling hands and gave it to Dieldo, who lay sick for three days before finally waking up. Spouting silly nonsense. Amber cried for a long time, then sniffled and said,

“Prince, that’s not love.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Back then, I was the only one you could rely on… When you’re desperate, you cling to anything.”

“Yeah.”

“I did too.”

“Yeah.”

“And now… I don’t think I can love anyone. One failure was okay. But twice… I can’t.”

“Alright.”

Dieldo smiled and took her hand. It was like the patient comforting the healthy one.

“But you haven’t failed yet.”

“I have. That’s why I’m here.”

“That’s why I came.”

“……”

“Now you just have to pick me up. Like before.”

Amber’s eyes wavered. The sound of rain filled the space between them, just like that day when they were alone.

“I… I.”

Dieldo looked at her as if he’d wait for any answer. Outside, it was still raining.

Amber couldn’t bring herself to speak. It had rained for three days straight, postponing their departure. But she knew the truth. The rain was just a good excuse; even if it hadn’t rained, she wouldn’t have left. In fact, according to someone who knew the sea, the rain would stop and the waves would calm by tomorrow.

So just dragging out time, she could keep deceiving him.

She could avoid saying how she truly felt.

Then she wouldn’t have to start anything, wouldn’t have to get hurt.

That’s when Dieldo laughed quietly.

“Amber, you’ll do fine without me. I know that. But I can’t live without you.”

Amber, listening with wide eyes, couldn’t believe it. He was a Prince, a noble. How could he say he couldn’t live without just her? More realistically, they’d only spent about two weeks together…

But he said,

“I have nothing, and I want nothing.”

“……”

“So you take me.”

He placed Amber’s hand on his firm chest. Her attempt to snatch it away failed because he didn’t let go.

Amber’s face flushed.

“Why your chest all of a sudden…”

“It’s yours. All of it.”

…Goodness.

She could feel the man’s hot body. With his gaunt face, suddenly showing off his body was almost funny.

“Don’t do this, you’re a patient.”

With no choice, really, she pushed him away with her hand on his chest. She wasn’t so much a sl*ve to instinct that she’d do anything with a patient. But not being so made her waver in another way.

“A patient, but still useful, right?”

“You’re trying to make me shameless, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m just saying I’m better.”

So, things like that.

“You know how useful I am.”

“……”

Amber truly wondered. Why was this man so desperate? Did he have no pride? She knew they felt the same, but if she were him, she wouldn’t go this far. Was she really worth clinging to so desperately?

Of course, she was one of the main contributors to the research’s success, and would soon have a place in the Kingdom’s lab.

But the woman he saw was just the ordinary Amber Serentano from the days when she had nothing.

It made it feel like his heart would never change. Like she was shrinking, turning into a coward.

After much thought, Amber spoke.

“…I’m going back to the Kingdom.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Tomorrow.”

“Should I follow?”

“……”

“No, I will.”

Without hesitation, he promised. Amber handed him the medicine on the table, without answering.

“Take this. It’ll help with the antidote.”

“I’ll get healthy.”

Dieldo smiled and replied obediently. Her figure filled his eyes. At that moment, Amber realized for the first time: not once had he ever left her first.