Chapter 13

“I’ll drink it later, so leave it there.”

Heila said indifferently, then turned her head back toward Marlene.

“Kersian said he’s like family with the people of the Count Bettia household. That must mean he favors that woman that much. I have no intention of competing with her for his favor… and no confidence to do so either.”

Even if she could, she had no desire to.

Every time she thought of Kersian, chills ran through her entire body.

Just imagining him looking at her, touching her, and whispering insincere words made her feel nothing but disgust.

“Please don’t say such things.”

Marlene looked at Heila with reddened eyes.

She still had a youthful face, but now carried a maturity she hadn’t had before.

It was a pity her innocent charm had faded, but now she seemed even more noble and beautiful.

To Marlene, though Uriel was beautiful, blood was thicker than water.

Having raised Heila like her own daughter, in her eyes, Heila was incomparably superior and more beautiful than anyone else.

Honestly, thinking about Kersian’s recent behavior only made her feel anger and disgust.

But Heila had already become a member of the ducal household.

The worse her relationship with him became, the harder her life would be.

“You are His Grace’s wife—how could you possibly be compared to that vulgar young lady? Even if His Grace dotes on her, she belongs to another household and is nothing more than a mere concubine. Besides, in my eyes, you are the most beautiful person in the world. Even His Majesty and the Crown Prince have said so, haven’t they?”

At those words, her unpleasant mood eased somewhat.

The feeling of being favored by someone—it was something she had long missed.

However, at Marlene’s next words, Heila’s expression turned cold.

“If you had a child, then His Grace would surely….”

“I don’t intend to just sit still either. But.”

Heila, who didn’t want to hear any more, cut Marlene off.

But she didn’t finish her own sentence.

For a brief moment, deep despair crossed her face.

But only for an instant.

In her previous life, she had fallen into despair after losing her child because of Uriel.

It was a child between her and Kersian.

Yet she was the only one who grieved the child’s death.

On the day she miscarried, even after hearing that she was bleeding, he still spent the night with Uriel and returned.

In front of her, he pretended to comfort her, but behind her back, he ignored her plea to properly investigate and hastily covered up the incident.

There had clearly been more than one suspicious point, yet even after suddenly losing his child like that, he remained completely indifferent.

When she closed and opened her eyes, it felt as though the scene from that day replayed before her.

After enduring excruciating pain for hours, she eventually lost consciousness, and when she woke up, her abdomen felt empty.

When she belatedly asked for the child, Marlene, wailing, brought her the already cold body.

She had been in the final month of pregnancy, so the small body was already fully formed.

Its skin was wrinkled, with tiny doll-like hands and feet, and the umbilical cord had not yet fallen away.

Holding those hands, far smaller than her palm even when fully spread, she had wept endlessly.

The pain in her heart was so great that she could hardly feel the pain in her body.

She buried that small life that had never even had the chance to bloom within her heart.

Without even properly recovering her body, she attended a banquet not long after.

There, Kersian danced affectionately with Uriel.

With smiles on their lips, the way they looked at each other overflowed with affection like a river.

It was as if the death of his child had not affected him at all.

Was there any father in the world so heartless?

Even if a blade were held to her throat, she would never again bear his child.

Having finished recalling, Heila raised her head again.

Her gaze landed on the maid standing in a corner.

Looking at the maid who had not yet left the room and had been eavesdropping on the conversation, Heila spoke.

“I received word from the merchant I entrusted with my dress for the banquet that it’s finished. The banquet is only a few days away, so I should check it today. Go and bring it back right now.”

After the maid left, Heila stared at the tea the maid had set down for a while before giving Marlene an order.

“I’m going to find a trustworthy apothecary and have them disguise themselves as a servant. Find someone suitable. Quietly.”

“My lady, your complexion doesn’t look good. Are you feeling unwell? The last time the physician examined you, they said there was nothing wrong…”

Seeing the worry deepen on Marlene’s face, Heila shook her head.

“No. Not right now, but if I stay in a place like this, there’s no knowing what might happen.”

***

The sun had completely set, and Kersian returned.

Heila, hearing the news from her room, prepared to go to bed.

Having been unable to sleep properly for the past few days due to tension, the fatigue seemed to have built up, making her body feel extremely heavy.

Just as she finished washing and lay down on the bed, Marlene’s voice was heard.

“My lady, His Grace has come to see you.”

At those words, Heila’s hand, which had been pulling the blanket over herself, paused.

Originally, after the wedding, Kersian would visit once a month out of obligation, spending a hollow night before leaving.

But now, it hadn’t even been a week since the wedding, and unlike before, she had not been obedient or tried to please him, so there was no reason for him to come.

After thinking for a moment, as if she had guessed why he had come, Heila pulled the blanket over herself and pretended not to know.

She covered herself completely with the blanket, waiting for Kersian to leave.

In the silence, every time she sensed his presence outside the door, the sound of her racing heartbeat, driven by fear and tension, seemed to echo loudly.

“Heila, I’m coming in.”

Contrary to her expectation that he would leave if ignored, the door opened with his words, and the sound of footsteps followed.

The sound reached her ears.

She tightened her grip on the blanket.

“Heila, are you asleep?”

Kersian asked as he pulled the blanket away.

With no other choice, Heila sat up and spoke.

“I’m not feeling well right now. Could we talk later?”

“You’re unwell? I hadn’t heard anything about that.”

A trace of suspicion appeared in Kersian’s gaze.

“Since the wedding day, my chest has felt tight. I haven’t been sleeping well, and I’ve been feeling unwell continuously.”

“What my lady says is true. She has always had a weak heart, and it seems something recently startled her greatly or has been weighing on her mind.”

Marlene added tactfully.

Kersian’s brows drew together.

His expression remained gentle, but Heila clearly saw the hint of annoyance in his gaze.

“Alright. Rest for today. Sleep well, and we’ll talk again tomorrow.”

She managed to avoid the conversation, but as soon as morning came, Kersian came to see Heila again.

And this time, he asked her to dine with him.

The soft soup made from mashed potatoes and the properly cooked vegetables looked appetizing at a glance,

but Heila kept drinking only water.

During the meal, he asked,

“I’m going on an inspection of the territory. Would you like to come with me?”

Heila bit her lip.

Even sitting across from him like this and eating was unbearable, and now he wanted her to go out with him.

She knew what he was aiming for, but living under the same roof, she couldn’t keep avoiding him forever.

In the end, she nodded.

The two rode in a carriage and toured the estate.

She steeled her resolve several times, but being left alone with him in such a confined space made her emotions surge, and Heila had to clench her fists so tightly her nails dug into her skin.

“From here, we’ll go on horseback. The scenery here is especially beautiful.”

He spoke.

They moved toward a hill.

Suppressing her revulsion, Heila took the hand Kersian offered and mounted the same horse with him.

Her whole body stiffened, and it felt as though her heart might leap out of her chest.

Feeling his body heat at her back and the familiar scent of his cologne made her stomach churn, goosebumps rising all over as her body went rigid.

Even Kersian could tell how tense she was, but he dismissed it lightly, thinking she was simply nervous because she wasn’t used to riding.

“We’re here.”

Following a path lined with a vibrant flower field, they reached a point where the entire village could be seen at a glance.

The crimson glow of the sunset bathed the vast estate.

“I wanted to show you this place.”

As Heila recalled past memories while gazing at the beautiful scenery, Kersian wrapped an arm around her with the hand that wasn’t holding the reins.

She was still young, small, and thin.

She hadn’t been this frail before, but perhaps she had lost more weight over the past few weeks—holding her now felt almost like embracing a living skeleton, leaving him with an unpleasant sensation.

Thinking of Uriel’s warm and soft body, he averted his gaze from Heila’s angular shoulders and looked out over the estate as he spoke.

“Just like me, you are now the master of this estate.”

“That’s true.”

“Isn’t it beautiful?”

“It is beautiful.”

The East was not as wealthy or extravagant as the capital, but its scenery was exceptionally beautiful.

The land was fertile, and with mountains, sea, and forests all present, each season offered a different charm.

However, when there is a tempting piece of meat, all kinds of beasts are bound to set their sights on it.

“The East may look beautiful and peaceful, but in reality, it has many problems. Being a frontier region, we must always be wary of foreign invasions, and pirates and bands of thieves run rampant every year. As if kidnapping and looting weren’t enough, last year they even set fire to a village, killing dozens.”

“That’s unfortunate.”

“We’ve formed subjugation forces and pursued them several times, but we’re having difficulty wiping them out. There are simply too many threats to guard against, so we can’t reduce the number of sentries, and compared to the size of the estate, we don’t have enough soldiers.”

Heila remained silent.

Kersian let out a sigh, looking frustrated.

“This estate is everything to me. That’s why, Heila, I have a favor to ask.”

“What is it?”

At his words, wariness deepened in Heila’s gaze.

She asked with a hardened expression.

“I’d like to borrow the knights you brought for a while. If the Imperial Knights join us, it would be a great help. Just this once, I’m asking.”