Her heart was pounding, and her fists clenched involuntarily.
But there was no need to feel intimidated. If anything, she needed to stay calm at times like this. Vivianne swallowed hard and clenched her fists.
“I just couldn’t sleep, so I… I went for a short walk.”
“Through that strange hole in the palace outer wall?”
“…”
Oh no. He knew all along when he asked.
Left speechless by her father’s sharp questioning, Vivianne became mute as a fish who’d swallowed honey.
Silence fell in the room.
The Mermaid King wore a somewhat devastated expression, as if he didn’t know where to begin re-educating his thoughtless daughter.
Vivianne remained quiet too. She felt ashamed before her father, and if he knew about the hole, he must also know about her ventures outside the palace. There was no room for excuses.
“You impudent thing.”
The Mermaid King spoke first.
“I heard you’ve been dismissing your handmaiden early, claiming to sleep early on temple days. A long tail gets stepped on eventually. Just how long did you plan to deceive your father with such shallow tricks?”
“I’m sorry. I just felt so suffocated being confined in the palace all the time.”
“Silence!”
The Mermaid King thundered. His voice seemed to make the underwater palace walls vibrate.
“How many times have I told you not to carelessly venture outside the palace? Do you find your father’s words amusing?”
Vivianne spoke pleadingly toward the Mermaid King.
“Father. I understand your concern, but I’m really healthy. I dance the best in the kingdom. I swim fast too. I can easily circle the seaweed garden ten times, no, twenty times.”
“What?”
“So please let me go outside the palace now. Please?”
“I don’t want to hear it!”
The Mermaid King dismissed her plea with a single phrase, not even blinking at her entreaty.
It felt suffocating, like being strangled by this blind oppression without reason.
“I see. Looking at how you keep getting influenced by outside air and wandering around, you must be in quite a heat.”
“H-heat?”
Heat? It was somewhat insulting and embarrassing to hear such words from her father. Vivianne couldn’t believe her ears.
“I’ve arranged your marriage. The Minister of State’s eldest son. You’ve met and exchanged greetings with him several times at parties, so you must know him.”
“You decided on my marriage without even consulting me?”
No wonder he kept following her around and trying to talk at parties. Apparently, everyone knew except the person concerned.
“Since you seem unable to control your heated body. I’ll set the date as soon as possible.”
“I can’t. A marriage without the consent of the person involved? I cannot accept this.”
“Don’t be stubborn, Vivi!”
The Mermaid King showed no intention of listening to his youngest daughter’s words. It felt unfair and infuriating. Vivianne bit her trembling lips firmly.
“Your sisters have all gone through this too. Aren’t they living well now, married and having children as their father said?”
“Marrying a male I don’t even love? That’s absurd. Father, please withdraw this decision.”
“You peculiar thing!”
The Mermaid King threatened with an agitated voice.
“You are a princess. I’ve raised you with too much indulgence because you’re the youngest. Do you think that position is just for idle love games?”
“Father. I’ve always respected you. I’ve believed in and followed everything you’ve said, thinking there must be meaning behind your words. But this time, you’re wrong.”
“What did you say?”
“I’m not sick and I’m healthy. And I’m not your puppet. I absolutely won’t be dragged into marriage by you…!”
Slap!
With a sound like tearing, Vivianne’s face turned sideways. It was the first slap she’d ever received in her life, and her whole body seemed to sway from it.
“…why.”
Her vision blurred and thick droplets fell down her reddened, swollen cheek.
“You won’t take a single step outside your room until the wedding. Remember that!”
Bang!
The door slammed shut violently.
Soon after, the sound of metal scraping began outside the door.
Bang bang bang bang! Bang bang bang bang!
Vivianne began pounding on the door in panic.
“Father… Please don’t lock me up…! Please? Father!”
It must have been locked from outside. No matter how much she knocked on the door or pulled at the handle, it wouldn’t open.
‘I’m completely trapped.’
Vivianne slid down against the door, covering her face as she collapsed there.
If I had known it would be the last time.
I shouldn’t have run away.
I should have at least asked his name.
Tears poured endlessly, and sobs escaped her. Her heart stung more than her slapped cheek.
* * *
“Princess. Are you really not going to eat?”
In Vivianne’s bedroom, even as Annabel worriedly asked while holding a tray with clam stew, she just turned over in bed.
“You’ll really get sick at this rate. Just one spoonful? Please?”
“No.”
She was being completely unreasonable. Annabel let out a soft sigh and cleared her throat again.
“Princess. Please look at me.”
“…”
“You don’t have to eat, just please look at me. Please?”
Annabel gently stroked Vivianne’s shoulder as she coaxed her. Finally, she reluctantly turned her head.
Perhaps from crying so much, her fair face was completely wet.
“Oh, our poor princess. How upset you must have been. Come here.”
Annabel, seeming to find Vivianne pitiful, wiped her wet face with her fingertips.
“How can you keep crying like this? Your beautiful eyes will get all swollen.”
Perhaps feeling reassured by the gentle touch, tears kept falling even though she tried to hold them back.
When Vivianne clung to Annabel’s neck like a child seeking comfort, Annabel held and patted her.
“Princess.”
“What?”
“Do you dislike your marriage partner that much?”
“…”
“He’s handsome. He’s smart and from a good family too. He even won first place in the spear throwing competition this time. I heard His Majesty specially picked him out for you?”
Despite her continued persuasion, the princess kept shaking her head, not wanting to hear it. Annabel’s head tilted slightly in curiosity. It seemed the marriage partner’s looks weren’t even a concern to begin with. There must be another reason.
“Or is there perhaps someone else you have feelings for?”
At this sharp question, Vivianne’s blue eyes grew slightly larger.
Just as I thought. She was a princess who couldn’t hide her expressions well. Annabel’s lips curved up in satisfaction.
“Why didn’t you say so? Just tell me quietly.”
“Never mind. What’s the point?”
“You never know? I might be able to help you.”
Seemingly intrigued by the offer of help, Vivianne immediately sat up straight.
“Will you keep it a secret?”
“Of course. Whose secret would I reveal?”
“Really?”
“Yes. I can keep my mouth shut.”
Still seeming uncertain, Vivianne repeatedly confirmed as Annabel pressed her lips together firmly to show her commitment.
Vivianne hesitated a little before starting to speak nervously.
“…He’s not here.”
“Then where?”
Instead of answering, she pointed upward with her index finger. Up? After pondering the meaning for a moment, Annabel’s face turned pale as if realizing something.
“You don’t mean a human?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Oh, goodness.”
How could she be so fearless all alone? Annabel kept muttering, still unable to believe it.
If it was a human, she must have gone up to the surface to see him. And if she was crying and carrying on like this, it couldn’t have been just once or twice.
Thinking about the tremendous things this thoughtless princess had done made her head throb.
“I saw him at the southern coral sand beach. I don’t know his name.”
“It’s better that you don’t. Forget about him.”
When Annabel answered curtly, she became gloomy again.
“Princess. Why did you go to such a dangerous place alone?”
“It wasn’t dangerous. Nothing happened. I just watched from afar.”
Though their eyes did meet.
She held this back, knowing Annabel would foam at the mouth if she mentioned it.
“Anyway. Associating with humans is absolutely forbidden!”
“I thought at least you would understand me.”
“I wish I could. I’m sorry, but this time I can’t take your side.”
“Anna-bel.”
“I’ve never heard of a mermaid who fell in love with a human and returned to the sea.”
Even as the princess whined her name, Annabel remained firm.
Annabel was knowledgeable and well-read about many things. She was Vivianne’s handmaiden, friend, and sometimes like a big sister she could rely on.
Unable to leave the mermaid palace, Vivianne would borrow books through Annabel and hear various stories about the outside world from her.
For Annabel to be this adamant… Was it really just a groundless fantasy? Somehow it felt completely deflating.
“Maybe they don’t come back because they’re happy.”
“Now, think about it, Princess. Mermaids don’t have legs, so they can’t move around on land where humans live, right? So what happens? In the end, humans put mermaids in big glass boxes or ponds. How could anyone be happy living locked up like that?”
“But I’m locked up here too.”
“That’s completely different.”
Annabel sighed deeply as if frustrated.
“His Majesty loves you, doesn’t he? Humans never love mermaids. They just lock them up and possess them.”
“…”
Annabel pulled the thoroughly dejected Vivianne into an embrace and stroked her head.
“It’s just like a fever that will pass soon. So forget about it.”
Even that thread-like hope crumbled away. Like a sandcastle swept away by waves, it collapsed as if nothing had ever been there to begin with.
* * *
After being confined to her room, Vivianne barely ate and spent most of her time sleeping like the dead.
He said he would set the date as soon as possible… That wasn’t an empty threat, as it took less than a month until the wedding day.
Vivianne looked at her reflection in the mirror. Adorned with precious pearls and mother-of-pearl, she sat there looking like an elaborate corpse.
“Come on, Princess. Smile.”
Even though she was in no mood to smile, Annabel kept trying to encourage her.
“Quickly now. How beautiful you look right now.”
When Vivianne remained motionless, Annabel bent down to meet her gaze directly.
“You will definitely be happy.”
“How?”
“Because I’ll pray hard for it to be so.”
“…Will I really become happy if you pray?”
Her wide-eyed question was heartbreaking.
“Of course.”
Annabel kissed the princess’s forehead and adjusted her headdress.
“Annabel. Can you leave me alone for a moment?”
“Why?”
“I want to pray.”
“Just for a little while then.”
After Annabel left, Vivianne was alone in the empty room.
She wasn’t particularly religious normally. But her desperate heart wanted to grab onto anything. It felt like she couldn’t endure without doing at least this much.
Even though no one was there, she kept looking around cautiously before carefully taking out her compass.
My treasure.
Holding the compass, she clasped her hands in prayer and closed her eyes tightly. Now that she tried to pray, she wasn’t sure what to wish for.
She said I would definitely be happy.
She decided to pray about happiness, just as those words suggested.
“Please make that male happy.”
Though she didn’t know his name and probably couldn’t see him again, she wished for his happiness for the brief time she had held him in her heart.
“And me too…”
Could she be happy?
Having an unwanted marriage. Having children. Still living confined in the palace – could she really be happy?
Praying like this, please make me happy… Even offering prayers she’d never done before?
She knew well that she couldn’t be happy. Still, wishing for her own happiness was a natural instinct.
If.
If I had legs.
If I could become human.
Could I reach that person?
[Shall I help you?]
At that moment, she heard a voice of unknown origin.
Could it be… an answer to her prayer?
“Yes.”
Vivianne answered as though she were in a trance.
“…I want to be happy too.”