Vivianne really tried not to cry. In an instant, her vision blurred and her eyes became completely wet. Yes. Perhaps she had wanted to deny it all along. It was too overwhelming to accept from the beginning. Maybe that’s why her head felt dazed, like she’d been hit, even after sleeping more than enough.

She had given her very soul. It was something that collapsed her entire belief system and goals all at once. That such a thing couldn’t have happened to her. That this wasn’t her reality. That there must have been some misunderstanding. Perhaps she wanted to believe that.

But the moment she spoke those words—asking if Kian didn’t want to have a child—and heard them with her own ears, she realized. This is really happening to her. This is actually happening to her right now. It felt like becoming aware of reality. Devastation washed over her, consuming her whole.

And what was most unbearable was the fracture reflected in Matilda’s eyes. Even though she asked her to be honest. Like a fool, she wanted her to say no, that it was definitely a misunderstanding.

Did she want her to offer sweet comfort? Even though she had already overheard the conversation and vaguely understood. Even though she had confirmed it after hearing what the maids said. Perhaps she had been hoping for some unrealistic excuse that would shatter all this.

Sobs came in waves. Vivianne gasped for breath as though she were drowning. “I’m, I’m sorry. Hic, sob, I’m fine, sniff.”

Saying she was fine. But in truth, she wasn’t fine at all. She tried to appear composed, but it wasn’t possible. Vivianne was crying like a fool, making choking sounds. “Matilda, so. Hon-honestly, hic.”

No, in truth, she didn’t want to hear the honest words. But she had to listen. Having given her soul, with her life at stake, she needed to know the truth to somehow cope with it.

With tears streaming down her face, looking wretched, miserable, and a complete mess, she had no choice but to cling to her and plead. It felt like driving a large thorn into her own heart.

Matilda embraced the trembling, crying Vivianne tightly.

“Vivianne.”

She called her by her name, not the nickname Vivi. Each syllable was pronounced clearly and with emphasis. Her voice seemed to etch her name into her mind, urging her not to lose herself.

“You must have been very shocked by what happened. Right?”

She stroked her head with one hand while patting her stiff back with the other.

“Matilda, hic, sob, I’m, I’m sorry. Really sorry.”

As soon as Vivianne apologized, Matilda took a deep breath, seemingly devastated herself. Then, clenching her molars, she wiped Vivianne’s wet face with her hands.

“Vivi has nothing to be sorry for. None of this is your fault. So don’t blame yourself.”

Her voice was calm, but the fingertips caressing Vivianne’s cheeks trembled slightly.

“I said I’m fine, but, sob, I just keep crying, I’m, sniff, sorry, hic.”

“It’s okay to cry all you want. And it’s okay to talk slowly.” She kept wiping the tears from Vivianne’s eyes, continuously gazing into her sad blue eyes.

“So talk when you’re ready. I’ll wait right here beside you.”

Vivianne buried her face in Matilda’s embrace and sobbed uncontrollably. Matilda bit her lower lip as she felt her clothes getting wet. Poor, pitiful thing. Pat. Pat. She tapped her back, soothing her like her own child. She waited patiently for Vivianne to be ready.

* * *

Matilda lay on the master’s bed with Vivianne, holding her close, just as she did when they slept together.

“My goodness. Your eyes are so swollen they’ve become ti-ny. Vivi.”

She looked at Vivianne’s face nestled in her arms and smiled playfully.

“Wow, this is too good to keep to myself. Should I show you a mirror?”

When Matilda grinned, Vivianne shook her head vigorously.

“Why not? Our Vivi is so pretty. You look incredibly cute even with small eyes.”

“No. I don’t want to see. I must look awful.”

“That’s not true. Don’t you believe me? Have you been deceived all your life? Hmm?” Matilda took out a hand mirror from her apron pocket and held it up to Vivianne’s face. She saw a face like a swollen pufferfish from all the crying.

“……I look ugly. Sniff, sob.”

Vivianne burst into tears again. Mischievously, even in this serious situation, seeing her act so cute made Matilda want to tease her more.

“Why are you crying again?”

“I look ugly. But you said. I’m cute. You lied. Hic. Sob.”

After being deceived by Kian’s lies and ending up like this. Now feeling betrayed by Matilda too, the sorrow overwhelmed her, causing tears to pour out.

“I really mean it when I say you’re cute.”

“Lies… You’re just teasing me, hic, again, right?”

“Yes. I am teasing you.”

Matilda gently pinched Vivianne’s wet cheek as she continued to hiccup.

“You’re probably the only person who would cry in shock at seeing such a cute face. Don’t you think?”

Even though she was joking and teasing. Thinking about it, Matilda had never once found fault with Vivianne. No matter what strange behavior she exhibited or what trouble it caused, Matilda always said she was cute, did well, looked pretty.

Nothing but praise and encouragement. Someone who offered unconditional support no matter what happened. Vivianne felt emotions from Matilda that she had never experienced from her own flesh and blood.

“Your voice is hoarse too. I can barely understand you.”

“…Hic, I don’t want to talk.”

“Then I’ll wait until you’re ready to talk.”

Perhaps from crying, she had no energy left. Vivianne lowered her swollen eyes in Matilda’s embrace. After some time passed, her hiccups subsided.

“Sigh, I’ve been working as a maid at Larson for 30 years now. Life brings such days, I suppose.”

“What do you mean?”

“Thanks to Vivi, I’m skipping work and even lying on the master’s bed. It feels thrilling to secretly be such an impertinent maid. Life is full of surprises if you live long enough, isn’t it?”

“So what?”

Though she hadn’t received Kian’s permission, considering she was sobbing because of him. Whatever. She felt like letting whatever happens happen.

Matilda smiled broadly and whispered in Vivianne’s ear. “Still, let’s keep this a secret from the master. I think I might get fired.”

“If you get fired, I’ll leave with you.”

“What?”

Vivianne wrapped her arms around Matilda’s waist and nuzzled her face against her chest. “I can’t live without Matilda. Theo comes too.”

“Why Theo?”

“If Theo stays alone, I think Kian will bully him.”

“The master?”

“Yes. And Theo is strong. And he’s Matilda’s son. We need to be on the same side.”

Even while mumbling, she assertively claimed ownership of Theo, which was cute. Matilda smoothed Vivianne’s disheveled hair.

“What about the master if Vivi leaves?”

“He’ll manage fine on his own. Whatever.”

She looked like a sulking child with her lips pushed out, clearly upset. Finding this cute, Matilda cupped Vivianne’s wet cheeks with both hands.

“I don’t think so.”

“Yes, he will.”

Vivianne thought that arrogant man would certainly survive. And suddenly, she remembered something very annoying he had said in the carriage.

“Kian said that Theo could live without him, but I couldn’t.”

It wasn’t wrong. Recklessly, she had come ashore with her soul at stake, and to become human, she needed Kian’s child. Even now, while criticizing Kian, even as her heart was crumbling with resentment and hurt.

She was still depending on Kian’s person. It was the first decision she had made on her own. Yet somehow, she couldn’t do anything by herself. Her hasty decision felt like shackles tightening around her ankles, digging in.

“The master said that?”

“Yes. So that day, Theo came separately. And I, the entire carriage ride…”

Vivianne was making somewhat disjointed complaints when she suddenly stopped.

“Yes?”

“Oh, it’s nothing.”

Upon reflection, it seemed she didn’t want to talk about it. Despite the jokes and affection shown to her, she still remained listless, slumped over. It was understandable. Having unknowingly consumed a lot of medicine and then fainting, how great must her sense of betrayal be? Matilda had been making light conversation to get her talking, but this was certainly not an issue that could be treated lightly. She felt a heaviness in her chest.