“Did you want to have a baby, Vivi?”

Matilda looked directly into Vivianne’s eyes, asking rather bluntly.

“…Yes.”

Vivianne gently stroked her lower abdomen with a dejected expression.

She looked profoundly sad, seemingly already accustomed to resignation.

“After being with Kian, I would gently rub here whenever I had the chance, hoping a baby would come. I’ve always wished for it from the moment I was with him.”

No, that was a lie. It started even before that. From the moment she secretly watched him from behind the rock once a month, Vivianne wanted nothing more than to bear his child.

“I even made wishes to the moon.”

This too was a lie.

With every full moon, while looking at the male who shone more brilliantly than the moon itself. She wished for him, yearned for him.

After several full moons had passed, she thought that when the red moon appeared, she could stay by his side forever.

Even with her thin, weak legs. Still, she wanted to stand on two feet and be with him.

“But I wonder if Kian… dislikes having a baby.”

As she lowered her eyelashes, now darker from being wet, they cast long shadows over her eyes.

“Or maybe he likes babies. But perhaps… he dislikes me having his baby.”

Her voice, heavy with moisture, sounded heartbreaking.

“Why do you think that, Vivi?”

“Because I’m not a noble like Kian.”

It was something she had learned after coming to land. No, she had already known it in the Mermaid Kingdom, but she was a princess then.

She had never felt inadequate, so there was no need to know. Her pride was hurt. She didn’t want to admit it.

But after experiencing this, while searching her mind for reasons, she kept remembering what Kian’s fiancée had said.

That a child born from her would never be acknowledged.

That Kian would never want her child.

It was miserable and heartbreaking to realize those cutting words were true after all.

“If he dislikes having a baby, why does he embrace me? No matter how much I think about it, I just… don’t understand.”

Perhaps it was the difference between mermaids and humans.

For animals, mating was always for reproduction. That was an unchanging law of nature, an instinct.

Mermaids took only one mate, and when in heat, they desired to mate. Bearing offspring through that was simply natural.

The belief that she would someday bear Kian’s child.

That was what had kept her going through all the hardships after coming to land and being with Kian.

Perhaps she had been too presumptuous. Thinking that getting pregnant was all that mattered. She might have been overconfident. She hadn’t even considered the possibility that humans might not want children.

She wished she hadn’t figured it out at all.

Although she said she couldn’t understand, there was actually something that gave her an idea. Frustratingly, Vivianne recalled the fiancée’s words again.

“Do you know how Kian looked to me that day? Just like a child showing off a toy.”

A toy. Vivianne’s feelings were certainly not a game.

No one would offer their soul or gamble with their life for a mere game.

If what she said was true.

Did Kian see her as just a toy to use? Even thinking back to what he had said that dawn.

“If it’s mine, it should be whole.”

“I’m not fond enough to put something I dislike in my mouth…”

Even when she said she wanted to rest, he only asserted his ownership of her.

“If you understand, please don’t do things I haven’t asked for.”

She even had to be under his control for every single action.

She remembered when she was still a mermaid, confessing to Annabel about loving a human.

Annabel had said humans only imprison and possess mermaids, never truly loving them.

The reason was “because they have no legs.” Because they had to be confined to tanks or ponds. How could anyone be happy living in captivity?

So she made a deal with the witch and gained legs. She naively thought that with legs, such problems would be easily solved.

But even with legs, she was still just as confined by Kian.

Overflowing lust and occasional kindness that she sometimes comforted herself might be affection.

He would throw these to her like feed, making her pant desperately, and ultimately driving her mad with such doubts.

“Vivi.”

Matilda, who had been listening silently, took both of Vivianne’s hands.

Noticing how cold and stiff her fingertips were, she massaged each joint while looking into those blue eyes that trembled on the verge of tears.

“May I share my thoughts?”

“Yes.”

“I’m a mother, you know. I gave birth to Theo, and I gave birth to Sophie. I had two children.”

Matilda smiled faintly.

“Now only Theo remains, but you came to me like a gift sent by Sophie. Right?”

“…That’s right, Matilda.”

“A woman’s body… it takes a toll every time she gives birth. I look healthy, but my joints ache when it rains. That’s why having a baby requires careful consideration. I don’t know the master’s mind exactly, but he might be thinking of your wellbeing. So I hope you won’t only think the worst.”

Of course, having never given birth, she didn’t know much about that.

“Still, I think he should have told you when he gave you that medicine. It could have been dangerous since you didn’t know.”

“…I told Kian.”

“Told him what?”

“That I wanted to have a baby.”

She hadn’t fed him chocolate afterward, but the doctor had said not to. Kian’s intentions remained frustratingly unclear.

“Oh dear. You’ve been through so much. Our poor Vivi.”

Matilda stared at Vivianne, who kept sighing, then suddenly embraced her.

“Did you know? When you were sick, the master stayed with you at night. Both the time at the beach and this time too.”

Of course, she knew. That’s why on the nights when the side effects made her feet burn, her heart felt as full as the moon.

But this time felt somehow different. Maybe because of the medicine she mistook for chocolate.

Or maybe because of how he tried to tell her what she wanted to know while looking somewhat broken, how desperately he thrust into her, how he mated with her.

Kian seemed a bit unfamiliar and frightening.

“Richard says he’s been taking short naps on the sofa in his office during the day because he’s not getting enough sleep. In the end, it’s the heart that matters.”

“……”

“Anyway, there’s no need to rush. When you feel better, talk to the master slowly. Alright?”

Although Matilda tried to soothe her gently, her mind still felt chaotic.

He did everything with careful consideration.

It seems I misunderstood.

The heart is what matters.

Was I really being oversensitive?

Of course that’s true. But with so many incidents happening, she couldn’t tell anymore.

She would feel upset and sad, then feel like everything was her fault. The inability to explain things clearly was so frustrating.

Misunderstandings or truths—she couldn’t tell which—piled up, making her mind murky like muddy water. The inexplicable sense of alienation choked her, preventing words from coming out.

She just felt like she was suffocating.

* * *

She wanted to return to her room, but Kian wouldn’t allow it.

He said they needed to sleep together for a while, not knowing what other reckless things she might do.

When she wanted to take a walk, he said she should rest for now. Instead, she was permitted to move around inside the mansion.

She wondered if he remembered the night of the full moon when she had lied about night swimming because she felt suffocated. He didn’t completely lock the bedroom door, but he clearly preferred she didn’t leave.

What if the full moon night came again, and like before, her feet were engulfed in burning sensations? What excuse could she make to slip away? Nothing came to mind.

Her head throbbed, but worrying in advance wouldn’t solve anything. Once her body recovered, she could go outside the mansion again, and the moon was still new.

‘…I feel so stifled.’

Although she was allowed to move around the mansion, she had stayed obediently in her room until now, but she’d reached her limit. Vivianne put on an indoor dress and headed to the training grounds.

She thought of meeting Theodore, whom she hadn’t seen for a long time since the opera. It would be nice to walk through the glass greenhouse together or have him show her unfamiliar parts of the mansion.

So, as usual, she told Theodore’s junior knight that she had come to see him.

“What brings you here?”

But today, she unexpectedly encountered a different person.