Dorothea’s note:

Hello. This story was a bit difficult to work on due to the large, chunky paragraphs. I even had to read the entire [Chapter 1. Priest and Man] at least three times. Therefore, updates will be sparse and slow. Thank you for your understanding. 🫶🏻

1. Priest and Man

There are men in this world who are closer to God than God himself. The elderly woman who had just entered the confessional had to make constant efforts not to stare at the young priest beyond the bars. The priest had a handsome appearance. When he lowered his eyes, he immediately took on an ascetic appearance, and when he lifted his eyes to gaze at someone, he looked like a competitive young man. From the point when the priest before her had shed his youthful air and become a robust young man, the number of believers who came to see God at the monastery had noticeably increased. However, their true intention was the petty desire to see the most beautiful and healthy human being rather than God. In this region alone, there were cartloads of ladies trying to brush sleeves with the priest who wore his black cassock neatly.

The elderly woman also thought. Instead of her pathetic son who had thrown away his life in a duel due to his fiery temperament like his father, it would have truly been good if she had had a daughter of marriageable age.

For a while, the elderly woman only fiddled with the thick and expensive rings bound like shackles to her wrinkled finger joints without saying anything. The priest beyond the wooden bars silently waited for the elderly confessor to speak. However, he didn’t seem to have deep patience, as his nimble fingers were already rhythmically tapping the surface of the desk.

“Madam.”

The priest’s low voice echoed inside the confessional. When she was in the same space as the priest before her, she truly felt like she was having a private audience with God, so she couldn’t easily find her words. She slowly lifted her head to look at the priest’s lips.

“……Father Timeo.”

“Would it be alright if I wet my throat for a moment?”

The priest called Timeo, instead of reproaching the elderly woman for her slow speech, picked up the water bottle he had pushed to the corner of the confessional desk. He twisted the mouth of the water bottle before the elderly woman could even nod. Having drunk every last drop of the fruit wine he had stored instead of drinking water, he twisted his broad shoulders that fit perfectly inside the confessional here and there to adjust his posture. His upper body looked pious at first glance, but his lower body sitting with crossed legs was utterly arrogant. Now he was openly staring at the elderly woman beyond the bars with his chin propped up.

“Really…… yesterday I didn’t know what to do with my husband. His mobility is inconvenient, yet his suspicion and violence only increase day by day…… like a vagrant on the street……!”

“Violence, you say?”

“At this age, I can tolerate a sick person throwing bedsheets or dishes. But I couldn’t tolerate him bringing up our dead son to insult me! He wasn’t my child alone, how could he!”

“Your deceased son must also be sighing while watching this tragedy from beside you, madam.”

“Ah, Alphonse……!”

The elderly woman, who had covered her face with both hands, began to sob. When she lifted her head again to look at Timeo across from her, her eyes were dimmer than before.

“Do the dead…… generally stay beside the living?”

How could Timeo know that? He had never died either. Nevertheless, he lightly shook his face that only ‘appeared’ pious from side to side. The elderly woman finally looked relieved.

Timeo quietly stared behind the woman. He felt no signs or presence around her. From her husband to her son, Timeo looked down indifferently at the elderly woman who had terribly bad luck with men, and was about to slowly open his mouth. The other door of the confessional opened halfway and then closed. After the woman’s earnest confession, Timeo intended to rest for a while. However, he didn’t have the leisure to turn around and kindly tell the late believer to knock on another confessional door, leaving behind the emotionally overwhelmed confessor. Once his ‘consultation’ with the woman ended, he would quickly rush out of the confessional.

Looking down at the pitiful elderly woman’s shoulders, which looked thinner than a few days ago, Timeo asked.

“What do you think about when you visit the confessional, madam?”

The woman, who had been suppressing her tears with a handkerchief, slowly lifted her head. A speck of warmth spread across Timeo’s face, which had been utterly cold.

“I often think that the confessional is just like a coffin.”

“That’s, that’s not true.”

“The believers who visit the confessional all look like corpses. Seeing you getting thinner day by day……”

Timeo’s and the elderly woman’s eyes met. Timeo, who had bent his upper body toward the woman, smiled pleasantly. The elderly woman, who had suddenly extended her hand beyond the bars, looked up at Timeo and murmured desperately. The reason I came here today is different, Father…… The woman’s fingertips tried to grab the sleeve of his cassock.

Timeo, who had pulled his body back, also naturally shook off his wrist that had been caught by the woman. The perfume scent that had been vibrating since the elderly woman opened the confessional door…… Instead of answering, he stroked his chin for a long time, then suddenly asked the woman how many servants went back and forth to her husband’s bedroom. The elderly woman also answered faithfully.

“Not many.”

“What does that have to do with the hardships of your life?”

“I wondered if there might be any witnesses.”

“Pardon?”

“Did you kill him?”

Silence lingered inside the confessional for a while. The elderly woman was trembling like a dried twig. She seemed to have overlooked even the rudeness of Timeo brushing off her hand, as she desperately grabbed his fingertips again.

“It was medicine given to livestock before slaughter……”

“I see.”

Timeo replied indifferently. However, it was precisely because of that plainness that the elderly woman looked relieved. Soon the agitation transmitted through her fingertips subsided, and the much calmer woman carefully gripped the bars while anxiously staring at Timeo before her.

“I was hit with a candlestick. It was the first time in my life I received such treatment. That man…… said that Alphonse’s death and all the family’s troubles were entirely my fault. Dear God! Even so, was it alright for me to do such a thing? Wh-what will become of me now? Moreover, I am His faithful servant……”

“Of course it wasn’t alright.”

“……Father.”

“However……”

When Timeo, who had paused for a moment, bent his head toward the elderly woman, Timeo’s shadow poured over her small, thin body.

“God is a heartless being and does not care for each ant at his feet.”

“Ants…… Ha, yes. The curse of the twin gods. Originally there weren’t one but two, weren’t there? Still harboring resentment at their feet, they dry up the seed of twins……!”

The elderly woman, who had swallowed her saliva, looked at Timeo pitifully and opened her mouth.

“But then…… what should this ant do?”

He reached out his hand and slowly grasped the elderly woman’s wrinkled hand. Soon Timeo began making a perfect sign of the cross with his other hand, and she also hurriedly made the sign of the cross following him.

“I have absolved you.”

“Father……”

“Though they say priests have ears to hear but no mouth to speak.”

The elderly woman, who was moved as if Timeo had truly washed away her sins, burst into tears of relief.

“I have no ears either, so you need not worry.”

A promise not to speak, absolution that overstepped faith…… Nevertheless, the elderly woman seemed much more settled and wiped away her tear stains with a face calmer than before.

Eventually, the elderly woman, who noticed Timeo’s gaze staring at his own fingers, removed a ring from her ring finger and held it out beyond the bars. Timeo shook his head as if troubled.

“In this Alzaz, this is a small offering to the priest closest to God.”

“Madam.”

Timeo, who had picked up the ring with intricate patterns carved unlike its blunt band, reached his hand beyond the bars. He unhesitatingly grasped the elderly woman’s bony fingertips wandering on the desk. Soon he slipped the old, heavy ring back onto the elderly woman’s ring finger like a moment of proposal.

“You must keep the ring on.”

“……Ah. That’s right. It would be troublesome to arouse unnecessary suspicion.”

“If you put it in the donation box at an appropriate time, it will become daily bread for the monastery.”

“My thinking was short-sighted.”

“Your son will always be by your side.”

The elderly woman, who had regained her spirits, slowly stood up. Unlike when she had entered dragging her feet, the elderly woman walked away with somewhat lighter steps.

After today’s last confessor left the confessional, Timeo opened his water bottle in a disheveled posture. However, his neat forehead soon wrinkled due to the water bottle revealing its bottom. When Timeo, who had carelessly thrown the water bottle on the confessional floor, was about to leave the confessional while ruffling his hair……

The monastery’s confessional had three doors. When he was listening intently to the elderly woman’s confession, someone had opened the back door and entered, and seemed not to have left yet. Having been cramped in the small confessional for quite a long time, Timeo was not very generous at the moment. Without even hiding his annoyed expression, he casually looked beyond the bars. The silhouette of the confessor who had steadfastly taken a seat was clearly female. It would be an obvious confession that he didn’t need to listen to with devotion and sincerity. The capital was overflowing with mental patients, and their wives walked around with gaunt appearances. Timeo asked while standing without even sitting in the chair. His gaze was arrogant.

“Sister.”

He hadn’t called expecting an answer. Among them, there were some who found comfort just by sitting in the confessional. To be trapped in her own world with such an upright posture…… However, a response came from the confessor beyond the bars. It was a voice as soft and deep as velvet.

“I have neither sisters nor brothers.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Do you have brothers, Father?”

It was an unpleasant question. Instead of answering, Timeo stared intently at the confessor’s silhouette. She seemed to be a young lady dressed stylishly in a purple dress.

“I don’t.”

“How strange.”

She was a rude confessor.