4.4

• Do you, perhaps, have someone you wish to marry?

That was why he hadn’t been able to answer Iliana’s question honestly.  

To be truthful, just once, he had thought about it.  

What if they became husband and wife?  

She was someone he could never grow tired of, someone he didn’t have to try to impress, and someone whose silence wasn’t uncomfortable.  

She was sharp in her own way, and her reactions when teased were as adorable as a squirrel’s.  

It wasn’t a bad thought to entertain once.  

To Lucian Declan, Iliana Raylin was just that—a comfortable existence.  

So why was he now lusting after her?  

Why were his dreams becoming more vivid?  

Why was he so ravenous for Iliana?  

…Why wasn’t this reality?  

Feeling like a complete scumbag, Lucian sat at his desk to calm himself.  

For the sake of his childhood friend, who had been worried about his lack of response, he resolved to keep these feelings hidden.  

At least until Iliana began to see him as a man, he would bury these emotions.  

“Hah, fine.”

Lucian, who had blown air into his bangs, dipped a dry quill into the ink.  

Starting with an apology for making her worry, the letter flowed more smoothly than expected.  

Perhaps his desire to arrange their next meeting was spurring him on.  

Instead of sorting out his feelings now, Lucian decided to meet her in person to define them clearly.  

He called for his butler.  

The butler, puzzled by the young master’s awkward posture at the desk, took the letter and left.  

Since the sun hadn’t set yet, the letter would likely arrive by tomorrow.  

Lucian, thinking this, went to sleep—only to be hit by a storm a week later.  

***

“Still no reply?”

“Yes. The letter you sent yesterday was even returned. What should we do?”

“…If it was returned, we need to confirm. I’m going to the Raylin estate.”

“I’ll prepare the carriage.”

“Make it quick.”

Lucian, who gave his orders briefly, hurriedly prepared to leave. The more vivid the Iliana in his dreams became, the more anxious he felt, as if the real Iliana was disappearing from his reality.

Could something have happened to her? 

No, if that were the case, Iliana would have told him. At the very least, she would have sent someone from the estate to deliver the news.  

Then what could be the reason?

• …Are you going to the capital for the social season this year?

“My sister isn’t home right now. She’s away.”

Anas said coldly, and Lucian blinked belatedly. He couldn’t even remember how he had arrived at the estate. Anxiety and unease had consumed him entirely.

Why isn’t Lana here? 

His voice came out low and rough, uncertain whether it was a question or a threat.  

Anas, who had been watching Lucian growl, crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes as she replied.  

“She’s in the capital, so of course, she’s not here. You know that, don’t you? She has to get married since she’s not taking over as the heir.”

“It’s not an obligation. Why didn’t you stop her?”

“Why would I stop her? That’s a strange thing to say. On the contrary, why should I stop her? If she marries another noble, it would benefit you too, wouldn’t it?”

Another noble. Though it was a short phrase, the words struck Lucian’s ears with clarity, making him clench his teeth tightly.

“…”

It was a scenario he had never considered. The thought of Iliana marrying someone else.  

He had always envisioned Iliana staying by his side as his childhood friend. But he had never once imagined her being by someone else’s side. Realizing this, Lucian sighed deeply.

‘Even so.’

Even so, she could have said something to me once.

He wasn’t expecting anything grand. Just something simple, like, “I’m going to the capital,” or “I’m attending this social season.”  

No, even a joking suggestion like, “Why don’t we get married?” would have sufficed…

“Why are you making that face? Wouldn’t it be good for you if she met more people? Honestly, if you don’t even like her, there’s no reason to block her path…”  

“Ah.”

Huh? 

Anas, who had been firmly staring at Lucian, trailed off at the end.  

A late summer breeze passed through the autumn air. For some reason, it felt like a scene from a romance novel. Anas blinked her blue eyes, disrupting the atmosphere.

“Don’t tell me… do you?”

In Anas’ eyes, Lucian’s face was flushed red as he stood there.  

The carriage was white, and the tiles of the Raylin estate were a light gray, making his reddened face even more noticeable. It was so vivid that even his black hair couldn’t hide it.

“Anas.”  

“Do you like my sister?”

“…Yes, I think I do.”

Lucian, who had called her name to avoid answering the deadly question, eventually admitted it with difficulty as Anas pressed on.  

Her shocked expression and gaping mouth somehow reminded him of Iliana.  

“Really?” 

Her tone mirrored Iliana’s, and Lucian, seeing her likeness, lowered his eyebrows and let out an awkward laugh.

“Let me correct that. I like her.”  

“Whoa, since when?”  

“Well, it’s a long story…”  

“Ah, wait. Hold on.”

Anas, who had been pestering Lucian with her gaze, hurriedly rushed into the estate.  

Lucian, left alone, reached out a hand, but before he could stop her, Anas was already noisily walking down the hallway.  

She’s just like Iliana.  

Watching the servants and Anas through the window, Lucian clasped his hands together and waited quietly.

The Raylin estate, being smaller than other estates, caused sounds to echo loudly inside.  

The voice of the Raylin family’s butler, chastising someone for throwing things out of the window and calling it unrefined, rang loudly through the house.

Was it a mistake to come?

Lucian let out a faint laugh. Just then, Anas came trotting toward him.

“Ugh, that butler is always nagging. When I become the head of the house, I’ll replace him. Stop smirking and give me your hand.”  

“My hand?”  

“To take this.”

Lucian, not understanding at first, extended his hand without resistance, finding Anas’ grumbling similar to a younger sister’s teenage rebellion.  

“You’re quick to cooperate.” 

Anas muttered as she placed a piece of paper in his hand.

“Don’t look so puzzled. These are the list of balls Mother insisted my sister attend. She’s been pestering her about them for six months now.”

“…”  

“She’s probably attended about half of them already. If you’re planning to visit our townhouse, it’ll take time.”  

“This is…”  

“So just take it. It’s useless to me anyway.”

The Earl is in the capital because of this, isn’t he? So there’s no need to send a letter to the Raylin townhouse and go through all the formalities. Just deliver it directly before my sister chooses her marriage partner.

Lucian’s eyes widened as he quickly grasped the core of Anas’s brief yet pointed remarks.

Seeing Lucian’s shoulders puff up, Anas nodded and waved her hand dismissively.

It was a clean order for him to leave.

“Thanks. I’ll repay you later.”  

“No need for repayment—no just give me money!”  

Without responding to her last remark, Lucian clutched the paper and ran toward the carriage.  

Though the carriage wasn’t far, his flustered movements resembled Iliana’s from some time ago, making Anas chuckle mischievously.

“Those two are ridiculous. Ha! Finally, that miserable one-sided love is coming to an end!”  

After all the complaints and curses I’ve thrown at it, it’s about time!

Feeling a strange chill in her side, Anas laughed quietly as she opened the door.  

There was still some time left before her economics lesson, so she thought she’d send a quick letter to her sister, asking for a reward as well!  

Stretching with a grin, Anas imagined her bank account filling up.  

The Declan family’s carriage sped off into the distance, looking as if it was ready to face the cold autumn ahead. It made her smile even more.