My Former Lover Didn't Die And Came Back - Chapter 52

In fact, she had also forgotten her chaotic past. That part about her ex-husband, her parents, and Cedric’s entanglement that contributed to her not accepting this man, had faded. Time has blurred it.

She gave birth to and raised this man’s child. Initially, she also found it difficult to become attached to a child that came into being unwillingly.

Surprisingly, it was just recently that she accepted Alvin as her real child. She couldn’t abandon Alvin, who began to speak and looked at her with eyes begging not to be abandoned, maturing quickly in a manner unlike that of a child.

Had she ever thought that the child needed a father? If she said she never did, that would be a lie.

“……”

But just like then, and now, she could not trust him. The man before her was the same man who declared that what he did ‘that night’ was the right thing and then left.

This giant man will probably never understand in his lifetime the enormity and helplessness she felt upon learning the truth late.

To her, this man hasn’t changed much from three years ago.

He still intrudes into her shop and her living space, at his whim, still invades her daily life with his military boots, and still does not respect her wishes. He will never understand why she cannot accept him.

But Blair did not open her tightly closed lips. She wanted Cedric to figure it out himself.

Thud.

Cedric placed a velvet box on the wooden counter.

“I’ll leave this here. Take your time to think about it.”

Just when Cedric was about to leave the shop, he stopped suddenly at the door and added,

“……I want to pass on the dukedom to the child.”

Blair’s eyes widened.

“Raising him in this small village versus growing up receiving high-quality education in the capital. What do you think is better for the child?”

“……Being a successor doesn’t necessarily mean happiness.”

She murmured, looking at the floor.

“Well? It might be better to let the child choose.”

Cedric stated flatly.

What’s better for the child. Unless you’re a fool, it’s impossible not to know. As the child grows older, he might desire power, honor……many things.

Blair’s eyes wavered.

Her concern was that if Alvin became his successor, she would have to close up shop here and move to the capital. She would have to be there for the child.

“It would be wise to think carefully.”

“……”

Cedric emphasized in a soft voice.

“What’s a better choice for the child.”

“……”

Bang.

The shop door closed. Despite controlling his strength, it made a loud noise due to his brute force.

“……”

Blair stood still inside the shop left alone, until time passed and the employees arrived for work.

Look. He’s still a man who does what he pleases.

And I concluded that my judgment was correct.

* * *

That evening, Alvin, sitting at the dinner table, talked non-stop about the rabbits on the back mountain. It seemed they all went to the back mountain from the daycare during the day. The child chattered excitedly with flushed cheeks.

“Mom, the rabbits on the back mountain, can’t we keep one?”

“Keeping an animal is not something to be taken lightly, Alvin.”

“Why?”

“Bringing a family member home is not an easy task.”

Blair hesitated at her own words.

…Bringing a family member home. Without realizing it, she had imagined bringing Cedric into the family between her and Alvin.

A chuckle escaped her lips.

If we were to come together, it would be a picture of Alvin and I joining Cedric’s household. Just as he wishes.

…Yes, as Cedric wishes.

She did not like that. Wouldn’t it mean he gets everything he wants? She might even be jealous of Cedric. He, a high noble connected to the imperial family, and she, who’s running a grocery store in a rural village.

…Their situation was reversed compared to their first meeting. When they first met at nineteen, she was a young daughter of a viscount, and he was a mercenary of the village. Life is truly unpredictable. She didn’t know her parents would pass away so vainly, nor that she, who grew up in a noble family, would end up running a store in a remote village.

After finishing dinner, the mother and son got ready for bed and lay down facing each other.

“Hush now, hush…”

She lulled the child to sleep, stroking the back of his head as he snuggled into her arms. Her red lips stopped moving when she made eye contact with the child. Blair asked, looking into Alvin’s eyes.

“Alvin, do you want to go to the big city?”

“Huh?”

Alvin was surprised by the sudden question.

“Not now, but someday when you grow up.”

“Like that uncle?”

“Huh, what?”

She was startled when her son suddenly mentioned Cedric.

“Alvin wants to grow up and become as big as that uncle with black hair and golden eyes.”

“…Really?”

…Does he recognize his father? The child glanced at the tall man during dinner. Was that brief moment unforgettable… Is that what bloodline means?

Blair’s lips, which had been moving silently, slightly parted.

“…Yes, when you grow up to be as big as that uncle… Alvin might want many things.”

Then the child asked with innocent eyes.

“Alvin doesn’t need much?”

“Not now, but when you’re an adult. Adults need many things.”

Why can’t adults live like they did when they were children? Adults need many things. A comfortably furnished home. Clothes that didn’t go out of fashion each season, money for unexpected unemployment, a reputation that wouldn’t get you pointed at, and colleagues to share daily chatter with.

Blair lived without any financial difficulties. Her life was enough with her child, the store, her colleagues, and the villagers. Cedric’s presence as the child’s father wasn’t essential for running her life.

But what about the child? What if the child needs a father? That was something she couldn’t provide. What if Alvin resents her for giving up his position as a duke when he grows up?

She might be telling this story to a child who’s too young to understand as an excuse for the future. In case the adult Alvin asks why he wasn’t given a choice and resents her.

Besides, the matter is not just about Alvin becoming the successor. Blair would have to become a duchess.

She couldn’t trust him.

It wasn’t that she disliked him. There had never been such a time since she first saw him at age nineteen. But accepting Cedric as her lifelong companion was another matter. He was still willful, and his domineering nature was clearly unchangeable.

He left a ring box and asked her to decide, but was he really giving her a choice? It was obvious he would be forceful to her next time, as if nothing had happened.

Should she bring this unnecessary man into her peaceful life for the sake of her child? She wanted to leave the answer to the young child.

Alvin opened his tiny lips to answer.

“Alvin doesn’t need much.”

“…….”

It felt like her heart was being tickled with feathers.

“All Alvin needs is Mom.”

“…….”

She couldn’t believe there was a time when she was confused about whether she should raise this child or not. She was at her worst right before and after giving birth. She struggled to accept the sudden arrival of the child. But now, it felt like that time was just a dream. Did I give birth to an angel?

With a smile, Alvin finished speaking and closed his eyes tiredly. But he soon opened them again. Fidgeting with his fingers hesitantly, he added one more thing.

“But Alvin would like to have a rabbit too… Just that would be enough.”

* * *

The next afternoon, Cedric came to the store. He wasn’t alone today, he came with several of his subordinates.

“Would you complain if I increased your sales?”

Blair looked up at the man who spoke indifferently, like she had nothing to say. The store quickly filled up as his men entered. Blair felt momentarily suffocated and had to swallow her saliva.

After his subordinates finished their purchases and left the store, only Cedric and Blair remained. The man who was standing in front of the counter said,

“You must have grown quite fond of the store.”

“…I can’t say I haven’t.”

“If you return to the capital, I’ll set up a bigger store for you.”

It was a surprising proposal. Blair looked up at him with wide eyes. She thought Cedric would naturally tell her to quit working and stay inside once they were married.

Thud.

She put the cash she was organizing into the drawer and said,

“…People in the capital will whisper about me, won’t they?”

“It’s been several years already. And divorce is not a crime.”

This was a fresh answer, though not as good as the one she heard earlier. Cedric asked in a serious tone,

“Still no?”

“……”

“Do you still think we’re not meant to be?”

“…We’re ill-fated, aren’t we?”

Blair murmured, focusing on the scratched and worn wooden drawer she opened and closed daily.

Cedric spoke in an earnest voice.

“You didn’t go far and were still living in this country. How big do you think Eleanor is.”

It wasn’t something grand, like fate, that allowed the two to reunite. Eleanor wasn’t a very large country, to begin with, and she was living within its borders regardless.

“Did you really want to run away from me?”

“What…?”

What ridiculous thing is this man going to say now? Blair asked back.

“Out of all the cities, why did you choose a port city? Why are you running a store that’s appealing to sailors?”

Ha, Blair snorted at the man’s unexpected words.

“Well, I fled by boat, so I settled in a port city. I just opened a store with the skills I’m better at than others. That’s all.”

She answered truthfully.

“Blair, please. Don’t you want to give your child everything?”

The man asked earnestly.

“If you want to leave an inheritance for the child, do as you wish. But we’re going to stay here.”

“Why in a place like this…!”

“Because we’ve settled here.”

Blair answered firmly.

“……”

“I like it here. Cedric. I’ve made many friends too.”

“……”

“My store, my house, my people. I don’t want anything to change.”

“……”

“I like things the way they are.”

She saw an ashen color in Cedric’s eyes.

That man, he’s hurt.

But this was the conclusion she had reached.