Flutter.

Another sheet of gray paper was turned over.

There was no trust between him and her. It was natural, given their past. Like a broken teacup, it would shatter again with just a little force.

「I’ll glue it back together every time. I’ll hold it together every time.」

Cedric’s words from a few years ago came to mind. He had said that while holding onto her hand, trying to prevent her from leaving the capital. She didn’t believe his words at that time and left the capital without any regrets.

Is it possible for people’s hearts not to change? Every piece of paper she had seen in her life eventually faded in color. Even this vivid gray paper in front of her eyes would blur someday.

Flutter.

Blair thus checked the casualty list in all the newspapers and placed them on top of a pile of papers meant for recycling. The pile was all the same shade of gray. She then went into the bedroom to wake up Alvin.

* * *

Alvin turned six years old.

There was only one school in the small rural village. Upon enrollment, Alvin proved his intelligence by becoming the smartest kid in school.

The teachers unanimously said that the child should be sent to a big school in the city, but Blair just smiled faintly. If she left this place, that man wouldn’t be able to find her.

In one season, Blair fell ill for several days. Colds had been like an annual event around this time of year, and she would usually recover after lying down for a day or two. But this illness was severe. She felt so achy all over her body that she couldn’t even get up.

Alvin brought a towel soaked in cold water and placed it on her forehead. His maturity was unchildlike, even at six years old.

“Mom, you can’t die…”

The child cried loudly, fearing that his mother might actually die. His behavior was indeed childlike, making Blair’s heart ache, yet she found her son endearing and smiled.

“Sniff, mom, you can’t die…”

Seeing Alvin cry and look anxious, Blair pondered. The severe pain last night indeed made her fear what would happen to her child if she were to die.

“Alvin, everyone can die. Mom will try to live as healthily as possible until you grow up, but sometimes things don’t go as planned.”

“I don’t want that, mom…”

“Alvin, listen…”

When Blair spoke in a serious tone, Alvin stopped crying and listened intently, quickly picking up on the atmosphere.

“Hm?”

Alvin’s eyes widened like a calf’s.

“What would you do if mom were gone?”

The heavy question made the child freeze like a statue.

“…Where is mom going?”

“If, just if… If mom gets very sick and dies before you… What then?”

Even as she spoke, she felt guilty. But it was a conversation that had to happen someday for Alvin’s sake.

Blair knew she was thinner and weaker than most people and had been badly hurt giving birth. The fever she had during her first year of marriage and dying on the cold stone floor with an injured hand had all shortened her lifespan, if not worsened it.

“……”

Alvin kept silent for quite a while but eventually came up with a thoughtful answer based on his mature understanding.

“…I’ll ask Aunt Kay to take care of Alvin.”

In the meantime, employee Kay had gotten married and set up her own household. Recently, she was pregnant and proudly showing off her growing belly.

“What if Aunt Kay says she can’t take care of Alvin because she’s about to have a baby?”

Blair’s heart ached as she asked this question, hoping to hear Alvin’s thoughts. But it was a possibility that could happen anytime. Alvin pondered with his little head and soon answered.

“…Um, then…”

“Then?”

“Since Alvin is young, I’ll go to the orphanage. I have to stay there until I grow up.”

Blair’s heart tore hearing the words spoken by the young child. Blair was so focused on Alvin that the headaches and fever that had been tormenting her for days were forgotten.

Gulp, Blair swallowed once and said,

“Listen, Alvin…”

“Yeah.”

“If something happens to mom later on, go to the capital and find a man named Cedric Fitzgerald.”

“……”

“Everyone in the capital knows that name. Got it, Alvin?”

The child’s eyes widened like a rabbit’s but he remained silent.

“Hm? Did you understand what mom said? Alvin.”

“…Is that person Alvin’s dad?”

The child asked in a calm voice.

“…Yes.”

Blair paused for a moment before answering.

“Is it… that man with black hair from back then?”

Blair swallowed her breath.

To think that Alvin remembered Cedric… It had already been three years.

Blair was surprised that Alvin remembered Cedric from their brief encounter 3 years ago.

“…That’s right.”

When they encountered Cedric, Alvin was just a three-year-old child. Even if the time when he was saved in the rainy mountains was a vivid experience for him, how could he remember something from when he was so young?

“…What is that man doing now?”

“That man is…”

Blair momentarily looked blank before answering the child.

“He’s a soldier, protecting our country.”

The child seemed satisfied and smiled broadly with his small lips. In these times of war, the soldiers who are protecting their country were the greatest heroes to children. To a small boy like Alvin, knowing his father was a soldier seemed to fill him with pride; he couldn’t hide his flushed cheeks. Blair exhaled softly and gently stroked the back of his head.

Yet as she moved her hand, she thought.

Did I do the right thing. Telling the child about his father, was it the right thing to do……?

Heat began to rise in my head again.

Even as I spoke, my worries continued, but the thought of Alvin growing up in an orphanage was unbearable. Even if Cedric took a wife, growing up in the Fitzgerald household would have been less economically challenging for the child. Besides, Alvin was smart, so going to the capital might be better. A high-level school with geniuses would surely be good for him.

Recently, I’ve been worrying about things I never did when Alvin was just a baby. This is all because the child is too clever, a luxury worry. Blair exhaled a thin breath.

* * *

The war with the maritime power of Litunia was not easy.

The newly enthroned Emperor of Litunia was the owner of a massive weapons business, and his family, a distant line of the previous king, had amassed wealth by selling weapons to neighboring countries.

He was a proponent of war, and upon his accession, he stopped all trade with other nations. With an arsenal that filled up like a horn of plenty, the Litunia army became powerful, adding a year to the three years the Eleanor Imperial Army had anticipated. It was an evenly matched fight.

Therefore, the Eleanor Imperial Army had to devise a new plan for a swift conclusion to the war.

As the war turned into a prolonged conflict, it became a battle for food supplies. Litunia had many mines but little flat land, leading to a shortage of food. Guns and cartridges could be supplied almost infinitely thanks to the massive iron ore buried in Litunia. However, metal cannot fill hungry stomachs.

The Eleanor Imperial Army cut off Litunia’s food import routes.

Hunger weakened the morale of the soldiers. Yet, the Emperor of Litunia insisted on fighting to the end. However, the outcome of fighting a war with soldiers who had already lost their morale was clear. There was no emperor in this world who could perfectly control starving people.

As the tide of victory turned, the Eleanor army’s camp boiled with activity, but the young Crown Prince of Eleanor said with a bitter expression,

「Is this the decision of the Litunia Emperor, to fight to the end? It’s a choice I’d like to laugh at. A true monarch who thinks of his people would choose to end the war as soon as possible. I would do so.」

「…….」

「No matter how good your weapons are, what use are they? Iron does not fill the stomach.」

The war ended in victory for Eleanor. It was a grueling war that lasted four years.

The Crown Prince of Eleanor officially declared the end of the war. It was a victory for Eleanor. Most soldiers returned home or to their own lands with their reward money, filled with pride.

Cedric gazed at the endless horizon. If he sailed to the end, he would reach Little Port, and further on, the capital. His face, delicately carved as if by a god, was now tanned a deeper shade. He stared at the blue sea for a long while with an inscrutable expression on his face. The sound of seagulls cawing reached him from afar.

* * *

Blair and Kay wandered around the downtown shopping district. Recently, Kay’s belly had become so noticeable that even strangers could tell at a glance she was pregnant. She occasionally stroked her protruding belly as she walked, prompting Blair to ask if she wanted to slow down.

“I’m still fine, boss.”

Kay declined Blair’s suggestion. Ever since her pregnancy was confirmed, everyone treated her as if she were made of glass, even though she herself didn’t experience morning sickness or anything like that. She added that moving too little wouldn’t be good for her body.

“Boss, shall we go into that store?”

Kay pointed towards a store selling clothes popular with young women.

The two browsed through the store. Clothes that were clearly imported from abroad caught their eye. It was unclear whether some clothes were intentionally made to look old or if they were found in some junkyard.

Blair frowned upon seeing a dress with pilling and several stretched areas.

“I’ve felt this before, but you don’t seem to like second-hand goods much? You always prefer new things.”

Kay noted Blair’s reaction.

“Well, clothes wear out easily.”

“But there are people who find charm in slightly worn items. Look here! It’s intentionally torn. Made to look like it’s ripped.”

Kay seemed very fond of a pair of ripped jeans prominently displayed in the store, constantly touching them.

“……It’s tacky.”

Blair answered honestly, and Kay responded with her eyebrows drooping as if she were hurt.

“……Boss, that’s too harsh! People have diverse tastes!”

“Ha ha ha ha…….”

Kay’s indignant shout somehow made her seem no different from Alvin, causing Blair to burst into laughter.