I tried my best to smile kindly.

Now, he won’t have to struggle with my name anymore, right?

Just to be sure, I drove the point home again.

“I prefer being called ‘Lou’ rather than ‘Louise.’ It sounds cuter, doesn’t it? Unlike me. We’ve been married for nearly a year now, so I hope you’ll start calling me by a nickname too.”

“…Oh, I see.”

He slightly lowered his head as if it was news to him.

I felt relieved, thinking he wouldn’t struggle with practicing my name anymore.

“Lo.” It was a hastily made-up nickname, childish and completely unfit for me.

But I just hoped he would give up trying to pronounce my name properly and feel more comfortable.

Finally, the next day came.

He really stopped practicing my name.

Did my plan work?

I was relieved that he no longer seemed troubled, but a few days later, unexpectedly…

“Lo… Louise…”

“I’m afraid it’s hopeless, Your Grace.”

“Lo.. Lo… Haah…”

“Why don’t you take a break? You don’t have to pronounce the Duchess’s name perfectly, after all.”

“I… I just… want to… say her name… properly.”

“…Your Grace.”

“At least… I want to… do that right…”

“…”

He buried his face in his hands, looking exhausted.

The therapist seemed at a loss for words, and I too was speechless.

Why?

I even gave him the easy, one-syllable nickname ‘Lo.’ Why was he still struggling with my name?

I had told him I preferred the nickname, to just call me Lu…

At that moment, I couldn’t hold back any longer and burst into the room.

Alec and the therapist, both startled, looked at me.

“Lo… Louise.”

“My lady!”

“Why are you still practicing my name? I asked you to call me by a nickname!”

“…”

“I told you I prefer to be called Lo rather than Louise.”

“…”

At my frustrated words, the therapist’s mouth hung open, and Alec looked just as bewildered.

I wanted to yell at him to stop this hopeless effort.

But I couldn’t.

Seeing him cherish my name made me feel like I was truly important to someone, and it wasn’t such a bad feeling.

Who else in this world would long so earnestly to say my name like that?

I didn’t want to see him struggling, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him to stop.

Was I being selfish?

He stared at me for a long time, then lowered his head again. He hesitated as if struggling to say something difficult, then finally began speaking slowly.

“I… I found out… Lo… Louise… doesn’t have… a nickname… like Lo.”

“…What?”

How did he know?

I felt the strength drain from my fingertips.

“How did you find out?”

“I… I sent someone… to your… homeland.”

“…You really went that far to check? That’s impressive.”

Why didn’t he just trust my words?

I thought he was naive and kind, but he’s surprisingly not so simple…

I felt hurt and disappointed by him.

He must have guessed why I lied like that. Couldn’t he just have pretended not to know?

He always acted like he’d do anything I asked…

But strangely, I didn’t feel too bad about it.

If he had really called me by my fake nickname, it probably wouldn’t have felt quite right anyway.

With mixed feelings, I spoke up.

“Yes, I lied. You looked so worn out every day. I thought that if I shortened my name, you wouldn’t have to struggle so much.”

“But… that’s not your… real name…”

“Does that matter? I just didn’t want to see you having such a hard time, that’s all.”

“…”

He said nothing, and I left the room with a weak farewell.

Thinking about it now, I couldn’t help but laugh bitterly.

“Haha…”

I want to see him again.

He might have seemed lacking, but he was innocent and endearing.

Even though he was clumsy, I could feel he cared for me…

I want to hear his voice again, struggling to pronounce my name, see his desperate face as he called out to me over and over, beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

“Alec.”

I gripped the blanket slightly and whispered his name.

It was so soft I could barely hear it myself.

How wonderful would it be if he could hear my voice?

“…Alec.”

I called out a little louder.

But I already knew that no matter how loudly I called his name, he wouldn’t answer.

That realization made it hard to breathe.

Alec!

I wanted to shout his name, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

He was the one who had left me behind.

Once we were married, but now we were on separate paths.

Even if I called his name loud enough for the whole world to hear, I didn’t think he would return to me.

I swallowed his name, which was on the verge of spilling from my lips.

Our bond hadn’t been that deep, so I didn’t wish for us to meet again.

I just hoped that if he had another life, he would be happy.

Next time, I hoped he wouldn’t take his own life, that he would have a loving wife and adorable children.

Our life together was a failure, but perhaps in the next, we could both find happiness.

Would there be a next time for me?

“…Hic.”

In the end, I buried my face in the pillow.

My chest heaved with sobs that I couldn’t hold back.

It felt like I had no hope left to live.

The only thought that filled my mind was the desperate desire to see his face one last time.

The unfulfilled love and loneliness inside me had overflowed beyond my capacity to bear.

* * *

I downed the entire bottle of sleeping pills, the kind you’re supposed to take little by little.

It was enough to make sure I wouldn’t wake up again. I wished fervently for my consciousness to disappear from this world, clean and final.

After all, waking up would only mean being dragged off by the wretched emperor or being fetched by the fake Alec.

Neither of those was what I wanted.

All I desired now was to quietly close my eyes in the place where my husband’s traces still lingered.

Because of the overdose, it didn’t take long for my consciousness to fade.

Just as I slipped away, a voice broke through that final moment.

“Louise.”

“I think I finally understand what I’ve been wanting all this time.”

“Louise. It was you.”

“……”

The countless, dazzling sparks that accompanied his confession.

If only he were truly my husband, Alec. How wonderful that would have been.

But that was all I could think about when it came to him.

I couldn’t allow myself to entertain any other thoughts.

Suddenly, I remembered his words—that his original form was exactly the same as my husband’s.

How could that be true? There couldn’t be another man that handsome…

And then, I began to sink into a sleep I knew I wouldn’t wake from.

A sleep I didn’t deserve to rise from, after failing to find happiness even in two lives.

.

.

.

How much time had passed?

I cautiously opened my eyes to find everything shrouded in darkness.

I closed and reopened them, but all I could see was pitch black.

I looked around, wondering where I was, and softly called out.

“Is anyone… there?”

Had I really died?

I thought death meant your consciousness would disappear from the world like a snuffed candle, but I was still aware of myself.

It was strange, but if I was truly dead, that was a relief.

I didn’t want to wake up and face a painful reality again.

As long as I was conscious, I would keep thinking about his misfortune and mine.

“Sigh.”

I let out a deep breath and started walking through the darkness.

This wasn’t how I imagined death would feel.

Just as I wondered if anyone else would show up, I noticed the surroundings slowly brightening.

I could faintly hear overlapping noises entering my ears.

Honk honk!

Screams!

“Run, everyone! Get away!”

“What… is that? Oh my god.”

“…?”

The noises became clearer, and I stood frozen, tilting my head in confusion.

Strangely, the sounds of people’s voices and the commotion felt familiar.

It was like I had returned to the country where I lived in my previous life.

As I stood puzzled, the surroundings brightened enough for me to see clearly.

It was broad daylight.

Tall buildings and asphalt roads filled my vision, with buses and cars honking chaotically as they crowded the streets.

People dressed in familiar modern clothes were screaming and running in panic.

But strangely, they didn’t seem to notice me; they passed right through me, as if I wasn’t there.

In shock, I clamped my hands over my mouth.

“…!”

This place…

This is where I originally lived, isn’t it?

Could it be that I didn’t die, but somehow ended up back here?

The thought that an even worse fate had befallen me made my head spin.

It felt like the Earth itself had slammed into the back of my head, and my ears were ringing.

“No way…”

I stood there, frozen, as if time had stopped for me alone.

In the sky above, a mysterious, dark hole was gradually growing larger.

What had happened in this world while I was living in another?

I felt like I was about to collapse.

As my vision blurred, my head tilted backward.

Suddenly, the blue sky filled my view.

I can’t even die properly—what is this?

Just as my eyes were about to close for good, I felt the strong sensation of someone’s arm supporting my back.

With effort, I lifted my heavy eyelids to see who it was.

A man.

As I recognized his face, my eyes widened slowly in shock.

“Lou… Louise?”

The man looked down at me, just as stunned.

…Alec?

TL NOTE: More advanced chapter of this story is already up to the site. Visit dusk blossoms for more advanced chapters and stories