Chapter 9 – Long Life (Part 6)

“Ah, Woo Junhee.”

Slowly, Dowook smiled. His face, which had been fierce like a cold-blooded person, turned warm like a boy.

“How can you propose so clumsily?”

His smile seeped into her heart. The scenery beyond, the heat of the moment, their distant past, and their dazzling present all poured down at once. Unable to handle it, her heart swelled. Dowook hugged her bursting heart. She knew he felt the same.

“So… you go to Seoul. I’ll stay here for now. We only need to be apart for six months.”

“I don’t want to. How can I leave after hearing such a lovely proposal? Can you go alone after hearing such a sweet proposal?”

“You’ve always given in to me. You always gave in eventually. So give in this time too. Don’t you know my stubbornness? I’m Woo Junhee, who does what she says no matter what.”

“You’re always difficult, Woo Junhee.”

Dowook pulled Junhee in his embrace. He furrowed his eyebrows. His gaze, looking down at her, was fierce again. His expression was harsh, showing his displeasure with her words.

But Junhee knew.

“Promise me. That you’ll come back.”

That he would give in again this time.

“Okay.”

“That you won’t meet other guys.”

“Okay.”

“Kiss me.”

“…….”

“Junhee. That’s just a peck.”

Dowook grabbed the back of Junhee’s neck and gave her a deep kiss. He held her cheeks and plunged his tongue deep. Even though it was a sufficiently deep kiss, he twisted his head as if it wasn’t enough, thrusting his tongue in and craving her saliva. As if he wanted to explore all of her deep roots that even she didn’t know.

When the rough and deep kiss ended, Dowook commanded.

“Say you love me.”

“Ha, ha… I love, ha… I love you.”

“Keep pouring it out.”

“I love you, hoo, love, you, I love you, I love you, Dowook….”

I’m only yours….  

Dowook’s expression turned strange as he listened to her. His face was filled with both extreme pain and extreme happiness, unable to either smile or frown. His forehead touched hers. His dark eyes stared straight into hers.

His gaze was a strange mix of murderous intent and affection. He wondered where these emotions stemmed from, why he wanted to kill her so much, why he hated her so much.

“When you come back, I won’t hide that you’re my girlfriend anymore.”

“Okay.”

“I’m going to tell everyone that you’re my girlfriend.”

“Okay.”

“I hate you.”

“…….”

“Even at this moment of proposing, I’m still secondary to you.”

Dowook hated Woo Junhee for not loving him as much as he loved her.

“But I love you to death.”

His lips touched Junhee’s nose bridge.

“Let me ask you one thing. Were those eight years by my side unhappy for you?”

Even though it was a question that came out of nowhere, Junhee immediately understood the root and intention of his question, just as he would with her.

‘I won’t make you like that!’

‘I’ll make you the happiest person in the world!’

‘No one believes in that kind of superstition. Who believes in that kind of superstition these days! You’re just Woo Junhee. The Woo Junhee I like. Damn it, the Woo Junhee I’ll make the happiest person in the world…!’

He wanted to keep that promise. Those events had traumatized him. The promise of not making her a scapegoat and making her happier than anyone else had been an absolute principle shaping his world for a long time, and Junhee realized that only now.

“Were you really tired of me?”

She was at a loss for words. She looked at him distantly and then shook her head.

“No. I misspoke. It was my fault. You’ve been so good to me all this time. Thanks to you, I’ve had many more happy moments.”

So I had forgotten. I had really forgotten all those words about being a scapegoat and whatnot.

Dowook blinked slowly. He erased his expression and silently stared at Junhee for a long time. His forehead was still touching hers, and his breath falling on her nose bridge was hot and humid.

Time passed. Junhee realized that the color of the surroundings was gradually turning red. The day was ending, and night was approaching. As her gaze lifted to the reddening sky,

Dowook smiled faintly. He fixed her face towards him so her gaze wouldn’t wander elsewhere.

“Internet dating coaches say that saying things like that makes you less attractive, so you shouldn’t say them. But why do I like those words so much? I like you saying them.”

Am I really a hopeless idiot? 

Junhee didn’t understand his words.

“You always easily abandon me.”

Then, a cold voice disguised as gentleness fell.

“When inevitable trials come in this long life, you’ll abandon me again. But it’s okay. If your role in this relationship is to get tired and run away every time, then my role will always be to hold onto you. No matter how much you push me away and run, I’ll find you over and over again. Only I have that right, and it will be that way in the future too. So do whatever you want.”

Do whatever you want.

Those words oddly made her feel at ease. Whether she stayed here, stagnated and rotted, flowed downwards, or rose upwards, she could do whatever she wanted. She mulled over his words.

There are so many things I want to do and have to do in the remaining life. If life is that long. If I have to set one thing I really want to achieve in that long life. The one thing I most desperately want to achieve.

“I want to be with you.”

Slowly, Junhee’s eyes curved. Like a sunset spreading, a smile spread across her face.

This is the expression Choi Dowook makes when he’s deeply moved. She marveled and hugged him tightly. His heart pounded as if it would burst. He hugged her with a force greater than hers.

“I love you.”

The dazed Dowook finally spoke.

“I love you. I love you. I love you, Woo Junhee.” 

She quietly listened to his pouring confessions. Her chest warmed up. She kissed his ear, neck, and chin. As they entangled their bodies, she suddenly realized. Choi Dowook was her first desire and longing.

Behind his back, the asphalt road stretched endlessly. The sky was vast, and the light of the sunset was excessively dazzling. Junhee recalled a time when she had looked at the light behind his back with a sense of emptiness. Just like then, she still couldn’t dare to know what lay beyond his back, at the end of this road.

Even so, she was no longer afraid of that light.

Because she had found one unchanging thing in the uncertain future. Even if unexpected trials made her life stagger again and her knees buckle, there would be an unquenchable desire by her side. Junhee was ready to leap into that light.