And so Louis sent away his second love in pain as well. That saddened her. But separate from that feeling, she had no desire to go to the funeral.

Anais could no longer understand Louis. He must have known her feelings. She never hid them, so there was no way he failed to notice. They were each other’s first love.

Meeting Killian made her think about Louis again.

To Anais, Louis was always someone difficult, endlessly difficult. He looked at her and yet disliked her, resented her. And still, to the very end, he neither left her nor came closer. There was a time she thought that was simply Louis doing his best.

But was it really?

If he spared even a little thought for her feelings, could he truly have been that cruel?

Why could you never once open your heart to me? It was not as though we never had the chance.

The feelings she tended for so long slowly crumbled in less than two months. Perhaps they were already worn down, on the verge of breaking apart. Like a sandcastle that would collapse at the slightest touch.

At Killian’s side, she was free to be as needy as she wanted. Even when she was nestled in his arms, the moment she stirred he immediately asked what she needed. He was someone who kept thinking about what she needed.

And Killian was…… someone who, if Anais crossed a line, would withdraw every bit of that warmth and end things with her cleanly. Someone who could erase her from his life as though she never existed in it. At some point, that began to frighten her. There were moments she wanted to run before that time came.

Those feelings kept returning and unsettled her. She would think about ending it, and set out telling herself she would go to him and say that was enough for today. But the moment she faced him, that resolve crumbled instantly. So her second love was not a healthy one either.

Maybe it was because her first love failed so completely.

But it did not matter. If she could enjoy this brief love to the fullest, that was exactly what she wanted.

Anais felt nothing for Louis anymore. She only felt sorry that her first love, the one she gave her sincerest heart to for so long, was over, and that the wife he loved enough to marry died so quickly.

It was a remarkable change from the past, when the news of his marriage left her pillowcases in ruins.

Killian was becoming the man who fulfilled even Anais’s resolve to forget Louis completely. A dry laugh slipped through Anais’s teeth. Then her lips parted.

“Lily.”

“Yes, Miss.”

“Send a servant to Killian’s villa. Tell him I won’t be able to see him for a week. He’ll understand.”

Her period came at just the right time, she thought. It meant she would not have to see him. The wild swings in her heart were surely nothing more than that.

“Yes, I’ll do that.”

The thought briefly crossed her mind that it might have been better to see him after all, but she shook her head. Probably not. It was nearly two months since she and Killian started seeing each other. She already felt the change in herself. Seeing him right now would only make her heart waver more.

“Lily, I’m going to rest for a bit.”

“Yes, Miss. Call me if you need anything.”

“All right.”

Lily straightened the bedding and left the room so she could rest. Worn out and heavy-hearted, Anais let her eyes fall shut.

Knock, knock. A sound at the door. Anais lifted her heavy eyelids.

She seemed to have dozed off briefly, though she could not tell exactly how much time passed. She slowly tried to sit up when, once more, a quiet knock echoed through the room.

What happened now? Anais furrowed her brow and spoke.

“Come in.”

Contrary to her expectation that it would be Lily, the one who stepped into her bedroom was Killian.

“Hello, Ana.”

Anais’s pale blue eyes widened in surprise.

“……Killian?”

“Why do you look so thin? Are you feeling very unwell?”

He came toward her and placed a piece of chocolate, already unwrapped by hand, into her mouth as he spoke. Melted chocolate smeared onto his thumb and index finger. He licked his fingers clean, the same fingers that carried her saliva and breath, without a second thought. It seemed Anais was still the only one who flushed red at something like that.

“I always get like this around this time. I lose my appetite.”

“That’s a problem.”

He leaned down and pressed several light kisses to her lips, each one soft enough to make a small sound.

“What brings you here?”

“My lover is unwell. How could I not come?”

“You didn’t come last month.”

She regretted the words the moment they left her mouth. She wanted to take them back. Emily’s death notice, the feelings she became aware of, the fact that last month he did not come and yet now, in this desperate moment, he appeared before her like magic. It was all too much.

Seeing him made her say something needlessly sulky. It seemed unlike her, because Killian tilted his head and studied her, then finally let out a low laugh, haha, and spoke in a soothing tone.

“I had things to take care of then, it couldn’t be helped. Were you upset?”

Anais shook her head. Her heart melted in an instant, like chocolate dissolving on her tongue.

“No, of course not. But today…… I was thinking I wanted to see you.”

“Me?”

“Yes.”

Killian smoothed her hair with his usual gentle touch and smiled.

“How flattering. Next time, instead of saying you won’t see me for a week, tell me to come. Tell me you’re not feeling well and to come to you right away. All right?”

Then will you always come to me?

We’re not real lovers.

Why didn’t you come last time, and yet you show up at the exact moment I need you most and make my heart fall apart like this?

She would have gotten through it on her own even if he did not come. If anything, she was grateful last month that he stayed away. It felt like his way of reminding her what they were, that the point of seeing each other was simply to enjoy each other’s company.

But if you come to me now……

None of the words circling inside her made it out. Anais smiled faintly. At the same time, her eyes grew hot, and before she could stop it, tears fell.

“Ah……”

She needed to hold back. Nothing was more unseemly than crying in front of someone. But the tears would not stop, like a dam that broke. Killian’s eyes went wide, and then he pulled her out of the bed and into his arms.

“Ana, what’s wrong? Is it the pain? What can I do? Should I call a doctor?”

Anais shook her head. She simply burrowed deeper into his arms. Killian gathered her up and carried her to the wing chair by the window, wrapped her in a blanket, and sat down with her. Then he stroked her back and pressed kisses all over her face. Not the kind that meant desire, not a signal that he wanted her. Just the kind that comforted a beloved. Like someone who truly ached for the person they loved.

Anais cried quietly inside his arms, arms that felt so familiar now. Killian asked nothing and only held her, gently patting her back.

She thought that parting from him would be far harder than letting Louis go. Her feelings for him grew much larger than she expected. The realization came all at once.

The reason she tried to end things every time but never could. The reason her heart fluttered on the days she was to see him, and time seemed to pass too quickly when they were together. The reason she kept waiting for him to say, like he used to, let’s have just one more day.

Ah. She liked Killian.

Without realizing it, she gave him her whole heart. Inside his arms, Anais acknowledged that she loved Killian, and cried for a long, quiet while.

Through all that time, Killian held her and said nothing, only soothing her gently. He seemed to sense that she had something she could not speak of, and that it was the reason she was crying.