Around the time she grew somewhat used to the salt-tinged orange-scented wind, a letter came from Louis. Along with a formal note of thanks for attending the wedding.

She never told anyone she was heading south, so she had no idea how he found out. It was a letter Anais had no wish to receive.

Emily’s health was the same as before, it said. Which meant it hadn’t improved. Anais read his request that she come visit their newlywed home in the east once Emily showed signs of recovery, and a laugh that was almost a sigh slipped from her lips.

Anais genuinely wished for Emily’s health. Because that was what would make Louis happy. Separately from that, even if Emily recovered, Anais would never visit their newlywed home in the east.

Louis’s face as he offered her advice when telling her of his marriage was still vivid. She might never forget it for the rest of her life.

‘Anais, I hope you find your own happiness too. Meet someone good, get married, have children.’

‘Like you, Louis?’

‘Yes, like me. Meeting Emily taught me what love is.’

She wanted to ask what the two of them had, then. Whether the feelings they shared were false, or just child’s play. Whether there was truly not even a little sincerity in it. Why you…… why you hated me so much, when I was the one who brought you close and kept you near.

She asked none of it. And she couldn’t push him away either. The distance between her and Louis only kept growing. Her mouth tasted bitter, and Anais took a sip of lemon water to clear it.

After bringing Louis in to work under Viscount Bellini, Anais grew distant from her father too. Viscount Bellini couldn’t understand the kindness his daughter showed, and the fact that it was her former fiancé was something he couldn’t accept even more.

In the end, she lost her place at the estate and had no choice but to go live in the capital. Would it have been better, even if harder, to stay at the estate and never see Louis? No, probably not. She wouldn’t have been able to keep him away from her side.

All of it was pointless speculation. Anais closed her eyes.

Lily, circling the table where Anais sat, glared at the letter.

Lily didn’t particularly like Louis. No matter that he was once a noble, she disliked the way he spoke down to her mistress or showed a disrespectful attitude when the two of them were alone. What she disliked most of all was that he brought another woman in and hurt her mistress.

If he was going to leave like that, he should have stayed gone. And yet that man still came looking for her mistress.

She really didn’t want to deliver this letter either. What could it say that left her mistress looking so sunken and sighing like that. No, actually, today might be a blessing in disguise. Lily spoke in a deliberately bright voice.

“Today is finally the day you go out on the yacht, Miss. Aren’t you excited?”

Anais opened her closed eyes at Lily’s question and turned her gaze to the window. The weather was wonderful. She saw the sea with Grand Duke Visconti several times over the past few days, but she never went in. Naturally she never rode a boat either. Killian suggested they go out on a yacht.

She saw the sea itself for the first time in her life when she arrived. Living in the estate and the capital all her life, that was only natural. He said if they went to a small island he owned, she could even go into the water. Perhaps that was why. The low feeling that settled over her after reading Louis’s letter seemed to lift a little.

“Shall we start getting ready, Miss?”

Anais let out a quiet laugh at Lily’s question and parted her lips.

“Let’s start, Lily.”

She didn’t want to think about Louis anymore. Anais wiped every thought of him away and stepped into the bathroom.

* * *

Louis thought of Anais again today, receiving no reply, and sighed. He gathered the letters neatly and set them aside in one place, then boiled water for tea and went into Emily’s room.

Louis crossed to the bed and, in a practiced motion, helped Emily sit up and lean against the headboard, then set a tray with her medicine, water, and a teacup in front of her. After she took her medicine, Emily studied Louis’s expression and asked carefully.

“Louis, still no reply from Miss today?”

“No, I’m worried something might have happened.”

“Is it because Miss went to Solean?”

Louis’s face darkened at Emily’s question. Anais never visited anywhere outside the estate and the capital. And Louis knew well enough that it was because of him.

He hated that.

He hated being in a position to receive her help, but what he hated even more was Anais giving up what she wanted because of him. He hoped that once he married and left, she would at least find a good husband and live freely doing whatever she wanted.

But then, the moment he married, he heard that she left for Solean, the most open city in Fiorenza, as though she had been waiting for it, and his mood sank without end. Like falling into a bottomless pit. Emily watched Louis, who wasn’t answering, with a worried look and offered a suggestion.

“If you’re that worried, why not go down yourself? To the south?”

Louis shook his head immediately.

“What about you, Emily?”

“You can call the doctor. And I can manage daily life fine without you.”

“…… No, Emily. How could I leave you behind?”

Of course, the east where he was and Solean where Anais was staying were not far apart at all. But how could he leave Emily alone. Louis promised to look after Emily until the day she was gone. That was why he married her. He also needed a reason to leave the Bellini estate in the capital.

Emily was the daughter of the wet nurse he was very fond of. It would have been better if she came to find him sooner, but Emily arrived at the Bellini estate in the capital with her illness already quite far along.

A girl born around the same time as him, who occasionally came to the estate with the wet nurse to visit. Louis couldn’t turn her away. At his request, Anais took Emily in.

Emily, watching Louis torment himself over Anais, made a suggestion. That they leave together instead. Louis accepted and informed Anais. He would never forget Anais’s face cracking the moment he told her of the marriage.

Because it was the moment the composure of Anais, who always seemed fine, who kept her hurt hidden no matter how much he hurt her and only ever smiled warmly at him, finally broke.

Whether what he felt watching that was joy or grief or both, he couldn’t say. All he remembered was the feeling of his heart dropping to the soles of his feet.

He left her that way, so there was nothing to say to Anais now even if he went to find her. She had no lover, no husband. Viscount Bellini was famously wealthy, so she might meet a lover in Solean, or perhaps even find a good husband there. Louis clenched his fist without realizing it, knuckles going tight.

Anais always made him feel emotions he couldn’t control. Louis hated her, then liked her, then felt tender toward her, then pitied her, then liked her again, then found her simply beautiful, and in the end resented her.

Just let me go. Don’t let me see you blooming like that. So I could forget you and live…… you should have done that.

Of all the emotions that burst out of him toward her, only resentment and hatred made it through. Anais never once scolded him or showed hurt. She always apologized and felt sorry for him.

That was what he hated most. Why do you feel sorry for me? Would you have yielded everything to me like that even if I hadn’t fallen, even if my family name hadn’t crumbled? Louis didn’t want to see Anais, the one who dragged him into a pit. Because every time he saw her, he was seized by a maddening sense of defeat and inferiority.

Right now he was simply…… waiting. He wanted to hear news of her from time to time. They were on terms where a letter was acceptable. That was enough.

His thoughts settled, Louis straightened Emily’s bedding. He tucked the blanket around her carefully and drew the curtains halfway.

“Ring the bell if you need anything, Emily. I’ll be working.”

“All right, I will.”

Louis left Emily’s room and headed to his own. He sat with his thoughts for a moment, then picked up his pen and began writing a second letter to Anais.

* * *

Lily, who finished dressing Anais simply and helped her into her dress, said in a worried tone,

“The sun is terribly strong, Miss. We can’t use a veil either, what are we going to do.”

She brought over several bonnets and tried them one by one, then chose the one that covered the most of her face. Lily tied the ribbon neatly and clapped her hands.

“All done, Miss!”

Anais chose a light outfit but picked a dress that covered her body. The weather here was hot enough to be hard for her to adjust to.