Chapter 3.8

Led by Brienne’s hand out of the garden, Herace could only look down at the back of her head, not knowing where they were headed.  

With her quick steps, her golden hair swayed softly. Watching it, Herace realized that the ends of that hair were brushing against his coat.  

‘……Will she be alright with just that?’

She cried so much—wasn’t she cold? Was she still crying? Had it hurt a lot? If so, what comfort could I give her?

She said she might come to like him. That someday, she might even like him more than Kaiden. Even after hearing such an undeserved confession, Herace, ironically, did not feel happy at all.

Rather, it was the image of Brienne crying so sorrowfully that lingered in his chest.

There should never have been a day when tears fell from Brienne Ford’s eyes. Isn’t that only natural if you like someone? You want to make them smile no matter what, and you want to take away their sadness for them.

‘……That foolish guy.’

In that sense, Kaiden Bannon had made a perfect mistake. And Herace could not understand Kaiden’s actions at all.

If he was someone skilled at winning others’ favor, then Kaiden Bannon was made for it. He always said only what was needed, and at the scheduled time, showed a fixed, gentlemanly smile.

In all that time, Herace had never once seen Kaiden truly smile. Though they had much in common and spent time together, he was fundamentally a different kind of person.

The Kaiden he knew would have chosen silence rather than act emotionally. Though he was selfish, he was not the kind of person to deliberately hurt others.

And that meant, if he put his mind to it, he could act completely differently from usual.

There was something suspicious.

But whatever the reason, Herace had no intention of ever forgiving Kaiden.

“…I didn’t know you disliked sugar cookies.”

At that point, Herace, having sorted through his lengthy thoughts, finally broke the silence first. Brienne, who had been striding ahead, flinched and finally slowed down. She glanced back at him and gave a vague smile.

“Because I never told you. It’s natural you wouldn’t know.”

“What else do you dislike?”

“…Pardon?”

“I want to know. If it’s about you, Brienne, whatever it is.”

Herace tilted his head, closely observing the corners of her eyes. Fortunately, she was not crying. Still, her face was not exactly at ease.

“…Smells. That’s why I dislike sugar cookies, too. The ones with cinnamon have an even stronger scent.”

“Is there a reason?”

“I’ve been sensitive to smells since I was young. Not just with food, but wherever I go.”

Brienne, narrowing her eyes as if thinking about something, stopped walking. She squeezed Herace’s hand, which was still holding hers.

“Herace, don’t just stand there—get angry.”

“…About what?”

“I used you.”

So that’s what she’d been thinking about. 

Brienne truly looked apologetic. If it was that kind of ‘using,’ he would gladly let it happen as much as she wanted.

Herace, about to say it was fine, tilted his head slightly.

He thought he understood what Brienne needed right now.

“That’s true. Honestly, I was a little surprised. I didn’t expect you to be so bold, Brienne.”

At that, Brienne’s face turned slightly red. She looked up at him. Then back down at the ground. Taking a deep breath, Brienne spoke seriously.

“Really, I’m really sorry. I’ve been thinking I should apologize since earlier, but I was too embarrassed….”

“At first, I thought you were going to headbutt me, not kiss me. You charged at me so fiercely, I even wondered if I should dodge.”

“…What?”

A wrinkle appeared between Brienne’s delicate brows as she looked up at Herace. She seemed at a loss for words, her lips moving silently, then she finally let go of his hand and walked ahead.

Now that he looked, it seemed she wasn’t headed anywhere in particular, just moving straight ahead. In the distance, an outer wall marking a dead end appeared. Still, Brienne did not stop.

Herace, who had fallen a bit behind, quickly caught up to walk beside her.

“Brienne.”

“……”

“Next time, please tell me in advance before you kiss me. So I can prepare myself properly. And…”

“I said I was sorry…!”

At his playful teasing, Brienne finally stopped and raised her voice. But her panting breath and her small face, on the verge of bursting, only made Herace want to tease her more.

“I’ve never seen someone apologize with such an angry face.”

“I really mean it…! I’m grateful you helped with the dress, and yet I went and kissed you without permission. I know I did something wrong.”

Realizing she’d lost her temper with Herace, Brienne muttered with a flustered face. Her eyes darted here and there, unable to meet his gaze, and it was rather cute.

But if he teased her any more, she might really get upset. So Herace decided to stop his fun there.

“To be honest, I didn’t feel like it was an *ssault. If anything, I liked it.”

“……”

“So please, use me as much as you want. I would never get angry at you over something like that, Brienne.”

At those words, Brienne’s eyes, which had been wandering, settled on Herace’s face. She stared at him for a moment, then sighed.

“…Even so. Originally, I was going to offer to grant you a wish as an apology. So please, stop teasing me.”

“A wish?”

“Yes, anything you want. In the name of the Ford family.”

At Brienne’s rather formal attitude, Herace burst out with a light laugh. Then, looking down, he whispered as if regretful.

“Brienne, you shouldn’t invoke your family’s name so easily.”

“I’m not doing it lightly! It’s my first time ever, you know. But for you, Herace, I think it’s okay.”

…Her first time.

That words from Brienne’s mouth made Herace stop in his tracks. Brienne, who had also stopped, was met with a somewhat affectionate smile on Herace’s face as he looked at her.

“That’s certainly not wrong. I have no intention of telling anyone else what you say, Brienne.”

Maybe I would treasure it for myself. 

At his belatedly added words, Brienne let out a short laugh, as if she couldn’t believe it.

Brienne Ford laughed. In the end, she laughed at his joke.

“All right, stop saying weird things and just tell me your wish.”

“Anything?”

“Yes, anything.”

“…That’s not something to say so easily.”

He let out a soft sigh, then soon smiled and took a step closer to Brienne. Flustered, Brienne awkwardly stepped back, her back lightly touching the wall.

“You don’t even know what I might ask for.”

Brienne flinched and lowered her gaze. Even without asking, she seemed to know what he meant. But she tried to change the subject again, her whole face flushed red.

“I can give you most things… If there’s something you want, please tell me. Even if it’s expensive, I’ll, um, somehow ask my father for it.”

“I don’t need anything like that.”

“Then what is it…?”

Her face, looking up at him as if she truly didn’t know, swallowing nervously, was unbearably lovely. Herace leaned in, looking down at Brienne.

“Would you do it for me one more time?”

“…What?”

“This time, I’ll respond properly.”

Herace quietly whispered, lifting Brienne’s chin. Her small lips, which had parted unconsciously, trembled slightly, then softly closed. The woman’s breath, tickling his thumb, was far too hot. The soft feeling that had stayed on his lips just moments ago, just as it was.

Maybe she liked him.

Maybe she would come to like him even more than Kaiden.

His gaze followed those eyes that had said those words, those beautiful light green eyes that were no longer crying.

That sweet moment when those eyes leaned on him as if relying on him. He liked it. He was happy. He could feel his heart beating so clearly. So, even if he said that those words didn’t make him happy, he could never lie and say they didn’t make his heart flutter.

When he spoke, Brienne would laugh. But when Brienne spoke, he could not laugh.

For a long time, their eyes met at a distance close enough to touch. As if running away, Brienne turned her head, holding her breath.

“Herace, I…”

She should say no. If she wanted to push him away, she could easily do so.

But those deep, gentle eyes, his subtle scent brushing her nose, tickled her mind like warm sunlight, and for a moment she nearly let herself be swept away, pretending not to notice.

Brienne knew it was foolish, but she was somehow scared. She was afraid that, not knowing where her heart was headed, she might end up hurting this man. That it might become sadness. That it might become pain.

She knew well what it felt like to love someone desperately. When you wish for one thing, you end up wanting more. You expect things on your own, and in the end, you’re disappointed.

You’re disappointed, you hurt, and sink endlessly down.

That was what love was to Brienne.

So if, by chance,

If she crossed the line, swept away by this fleeting impulse and grew closer to him. If she came to rely on him so much she couldn’t stop herself.

……If she truly came to love Herace Belif.

She was afraid. Afraid she would end up hurt again. Afraid that this man, too, would eventually leave her side.

And that she might end up letting him see that fear.

“…I’m sorry. Truly.”

Because it was no longer just a joke.  

Even knowing it was a cowardly excuse, Brienne chose to be a coward.