Chapter 8.8

At those words, Brienne unconsciously held her breath. Herace’s expression was grim. His eyes, cast downward, held an emotion she couldn’t describe.

Disappointment.

It seemed similar to that word.

But Brienne, too, hesitated for a moment.

“……Herace. Did you know Kaiden was here?”

“Yes.”

That calm affirmation pierced her heart instantly. She had thought Herace didn’t know Kaiden was here. If he had known, she assumed he would have told her.

But……

“……Why didn’t you tell me? Or rather, why did you hide it?”

If she had known Kaiden was here beforehand, she wouldn’t have worried about him unnecessarily. She wouldn’t have followed him today and gotten into such a strange situation.

Herace surely knew she was worried about Kaiden. Even if she hadn’t said it directly, he was a perceptive man and must have sensed it.

So did Herace hide it on purpose?

A small ripple stirred in Brienne’s heart.

“Did Kaiden ask you not to tell me?”

A small tremor flickered across Herace’s eyes at those words. Again. The name Brienne spoke stabbed painfully at his heart.

“……Who knows.”

Herace, with a faint, powerless smile, slowly stood up. After a brief silence, he asked a question instead of answering.

“Even if I did know, why should I have told you?”

“Well…….”

Brienne frowned as if it was obvious, but then unconsciously closed her mouth.

She had nothing to say.

After calming her impulsive feelings, she realized Herace was right—he had no obligation to tell her about Kaiden.

“Brienne.”

Herace looked at Brienne, who bit her lip, realizing her mistake, and asked quietly.

“……I want to ask you something. When you were with Kaiden, did you ever, even for a moment, want to see me?”

His gaze, not as warm as usual, fell on Brienne’s lips, which could not find an answer.

“Tell me. Did you ever think of me worrying about you, even once?”

“……Herace.”

“No, that’s not the right question.”

Herace gave a crooked smile and tilted his head at Brienne.

“Am I still just Kaiden Bannon’s friend to you?”

Herace’s low voice carried an emotion she couldn’t identify. Brienne tried to read the feelings on his face, her eyes trembling.

“Herace, I……”

“It’s strange. Kaiden always makes you cry. Why do you still only think of Kaiden?”

Herace let out a shaky sigh and ran his hand through his hair.

It was something they had to confront eventually. Inferiority, lack, longing. Behind Herace’s love for Brienne, there was always a dark, complicated emotion.

The closer he got to Brienne, the more so. He wanted to be Kaiden. He was curious about everything Kaiden had seen in Brienne as a child.

“I thought I’d changed. That you were no longer the same as before, Brienne. I was happy to have contributed, even a little, to that change.”

“…….”

“But I think I was wrong.”

Herace gave a hollow smile and stepped back. On that precarious line, Brienne couldn’t say anything. She really hadn’t thought about Herace when she was with Kaiden, just as he said.

Was it natural?

Had she begun to take Herace’s kindness for granted, hurting him the way Kaiden had hurt her?

Would she end up losing him because of it?

Brienne grew anxious.

“……You weren’t wrong.”

Brienne, who had abruptly stood up, blocked Herace’s path as he turned away.

“Herace, you weren’t wrong.”

Herace’s gaze briefly lingered on Brienne’s face before dropping downward.

“If that’s so.”

“…….”

“What am I supposed to think?”

Herace gave a bitter smile as he noticed Brienne’s shoulders flinch. He stepped closer and spoke in a low voice.

“Just know one thing. My confession that I want to be close to you still stands, Brienne.”

“…….”

“No matter what kind of pain you give me in the future.”

With that, Herace walked past Brienne and left the guard station. Brienne stared blankly at his back.

She wanted to hold onto him, but she couldn’t.

***

She didn’t know how she managed to fall asleep.

Brienne, who had spent almost the entire night awake, sighed as she skimmed through the book she bought at the bookstore yesterday. Her mind was filled with thoughts of Herace, and she couldn’t focus on the words.

Even though they had taken the carriage back together yesterday, he hadn’t said a word to her. Still, Herace had accompanied her all the way to her room.

<Take a good rest after such a tiring day.>

Herace’s back as he left after holding her hand left a subtle impression, different from usual.

Feeling a strange tingling in her hand, Brienne entered her room and untied the handkerchief, realizing why.

That large wound had disappeared.

Healing magic.

The rule that it must never be used on others—Herace had broken it again for her.

What was Herace thinking?

And how could she ease his anger?

Her mind was tangled with thoughts of Herace all through noon, when she received news that a visitor had come for her.

“A visitor?”

“Yes, from Rontiano.”

Brienne’s eyes widened as she arrived at the reception room led by the administrator.

“……Mother?”

Spotting a familiar profile in the hallway, Brienne approached her in disbelief. Olivia, wearing a bright hat, smiled and opened her arms.

“Brienne! Have you been well?”

“How did you come all the way here? Did you come alone?”

Brienne immediately hugged her mother, burying her face in her arms, but she couldn’t believe this was really happening.

She had sent letters home every day since arriving at the Academy, but hadn’t received a single reply.

So Brienne had thought her parents were still angry at her. But Olivia patted Brienne’s back with a smile.

“I thought I’d die from missing you. It was so hard not to reply just to surprise you!”

“I thought you were angry. Because I entered the Academy on my own.”

“Of course not. There’s only one person in our family who’s that stubborn.”

Olivia laughed out loud and gestured toward the door.

“Let’s go in. That stubborn father of yours is waiting inside.”

***

An awkward silence lingered among the four people gathered around the table. Naturally, the cause of the cold atmosphere was Damon Ford.

Brienne, who watched her father until he finished half his tea, finally spoke first.

“……I didn’t expect you to come all the way here, Father. Honestly, I thought maybe you came to take me back.”

She said it a bit playfully, but Brienne meant it. Her father’s expression, as he stared down at his teacup, was just too grim.

“……Brie.”

“Yes.”

Brienne nodded, waiting for her father to speak. No matter how angry he was, she was ready to admit her fault humbly.

But her father’s reply was completely different.

“I’m sorry I didn’t respect your choice sooner. And I’m sorry for making you feel hurt.”

Damon, rubbing his thigh awkwardly, added quietly,

“I was lost in thought and couldn’t bring myself to speak. I kept wondering how I could get my true feelings across to you.”

“…….”

Judging by his expression, it seemed to be true. Thinking it was her fault, Brienne’s mouth felt dry.

“I apologize as well. This was something we could have discussed more maturely, but I acted emotionally.”

“No, Brienne. This is entirely my fault for not considering your feelings.”

“Father…….”

“It’s difficult for people to change as they get older. I always vow to put family first, yet I keep making these mistakes.”

With a regretful smile, Damon took Brienne’s hand.

“So, Brienne. I hope you try many things, so you don’t grow old like me. There’s no need to be a consistent person. It’s fine to be someone who gets angry in the morning and laughs a lot in the evening. As long as you’re happy, of course.”

“Does that mean…….”

Damon nodded.

“It means I respect and support your decision. If my daughter finds something she wants to do, who could stop her?”

Hearing that warm answer, a teary smile spread across Brienne’s face. The warmth she felt from their clasped hands seeped into her heart.

“……Thank you, Father. Truly.”

“Hmm, sorry to break this touching mood, but you should really be thanking someone else.”

At that moment, Shylo, who had been watching Brienne and Damon’s conversation with delight, shrugged his shoulders.

“Herace Belif sent a letter to Father.”

“What?”

“He wrote that he would stay with you as an Academy assistant during your studies, so there’s no need to worry about you. Father seemed relieved after reading it.”

“Shylo……. Don’t say unnecessary things.”

Brienne, who had never heard this story, widened her eyes in surprise, and Olivia nodded with a smile.

“In fact, your father kept trying to bring you back. But Shylo and I thought differently. The house was never quiet because we argued about it every day. Then Herace’s letter arrived, saying he would always be by your side, so not to worry too much.”

Brienne’s gaze toward Olivia wavered. She had confided her worries about her family to Herace, but never imagined he would go this far.

Suddenly, the image of Herace worrying about her yesterday flashed through Brienne’s mind. And all those times he seemed obsessively concerned about her safety.

“And actually, I brought the letter that was sent to you, too.”

“A letter for me?”

Brienne accepted the letter Olivia handed over, looking puzzled.

“It arrived on the day you left. You must have missed it.”

“……I had no idea.”

Brienne’s eyes fell on the clean envelope. She never dreamed Herace would send her a letter, let alone persuade her father.

He had never asked her about it, nor had they ever exchanged letters before.

What could Herace have wanted to say to her that day?

A question rose in Brienne’s eyes as she looked down at the letter that had arrived late.