Romeo and Rosaline - 10

Rosaline collected her scattered thoughts and returned home. At that time, she shared a room with her mother in the annex, so as soon as she entered, she came face to face with her mother, who was lighting a lamp.

“I’m back.”

“You’re back.”

Rosaline put her bag on the nightstand and took off her thin cloak, feeling uncertain about how to express herself. Her heart pounded as though she had just stolen candy. After pondering for a while, she approached her mother, who was knitting.

“What is it?”

A shadow fell over her mother’s face as she looked up. It seemed strange for Rosaline, who would usually wash up and go to bed, to come closer. Rosaline found it difficult to speak immediately. She shyly glanced at her mother’s cheek illuminated by the lamp, unable to express herself directly.

“What are you working on?”

“…It’s a cover to wrap a pouch.”

“What kind of pouch are you wrapping?”

Observing Rosaline’s unusual behavior, her mother set down the knitting needles.

“Rosaline, is there something going on today?”

Rosaline fidgeted and spoke.

“Actually, today I started my period…”

“Ah.”

“…My stomach hurts too…”

“If you can’t bear it, put something warm on your body.”

“Don’t you have anything else to say?”

As Rosaline stood there without leaving, her mother spoke in bewilderment.

“You’re the one who has to endure it. There’s no need to be extra cautious about it.”

“…Yes? Ah, yes.”

“Get some fabric from the laundry room and use it. You’ve seen me doing it before, so why did you act like that?”

While being reprimanded, Rosaline’s heart swelled. It was the first time her mother showed concern and gave her advice solely for her well-being.

She mustered up the courage and kissed her mother’s forehead. Her startled mother opened her eyes wide, but Rosaline couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh that kept escaping.

“You really…”

“Goodnight.”

Rosaline changed her clothes, washed her body, and placed a clean cloth on her undergarments. After checking her appearance, she went up to Juliet’s bedroom. It was usually Rosaline who made Juliet’s bed unless there was anything special.

Come to think of it, Juliet always asked her to tell her when she started the ‘horrible period.’ Rosaline felt excited, like they now had a secret shared between the two of them.

“Rosaline? Did something good happen today?”

Juliet was already well-prepared, leaning against the bed and reading a book. Seeing Rosaline, who seemed deeply lost in thought, she closed the book and smiled. Rosaline lit the candle placed on the side table and sat down on the chair next to the bed.

“What, what’s happened?”

Rosaline hesitated, pursing her lips several times before speaking cautiously.

“Miss, actually, I started my period today.”

“Oh, congratulations. Is there any pain?”

Juliet tightly held both of Rosaline’s hands.

“Thank you, Miss. My stomach hurts a bit…”

“Would you like some tea?”

Juliet reached out her arm and took a teacup from the nearby side table. It was fragrant tea.

“If you drink the tea that the nurse boiled, it’ll ease the pain. I’m also having mine. It seems our cycles are similar.”

But Rosaline didn’t take the tea. She was staring at the edge of Juliet’s blanket absentmindly. Tucked under the edge of the blanket was a round and spacious bundle wrapped in the same color fabric as the pouch her mother was knitting earlier.

“…What is that, Miss?”

“Oh, this… It’s a leather pouch filled with hot water, but it was too hot, so the wet nurse covered it with this cloth for me.”

It was a beautiful cloth adorned with five white flower petals.

“She said she’d make me some more… No, that’s not it. Come, Rosaline, lie down beside me.”

Juliet set the teacup down again and moved gently, creating a space. When Rosaline didn’t move, Juliet thought she was hesitating and pulled her arm to bring her closer. Rosaline was pulled without resistance and lay down next to her.

“If you place this on the painful area like this, it will hurt less.”

Juliet placed the water pouch on Rosaline’s stomach and covered her with the blanket.

“You’ll sleep here tonight. Okay?”

Rosaline looked at Juliet, who affectionately crossed her arms, with trembling eyes. Worried that Rosaline might refuse, Juliet quickly closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. It was a tender and innocent gesture.

Ah, lovely Juliet.

You are excessively beautiful and affectionate for me to bear any jealousy.

Rosaline’s heart ached. She couldn’t understand why it hurt. It just felt like a pain in her heart, aching and yearning to say something, but her voice remained silent, seemingly lost.

She kissed Juliet’s forehead.

“Sleep well, Juliet.”

And that night, taking advantage of the moment when Juliet was asleep, she left the house.

Without a clear reason, simply unable to bear the overwhelming love in her heart. She rushed out blindly. It led her to this place, away from the crowd. The hot summer breeze brushed against her sweaty skin, bringing the air that had just begun to dawn.

It was simply peaceful,

and lonely.

* * *

“And then the lady chased after me.”

Rosaline shook her head, brushing her fingers through the short grass as she spoke. She could feel Romeo’s gaze on her cheek.

“She didn’t even wear shoes, she came to find me just as she was in her nightclothes.”

She slowly moved her hand and held his hand which was casually resting on the ground. His hand was much larger than hers, rougher and firmer. Perhaps it was because of the prominent tendons that resembled strong currents, it felt more like steel than a human hand.

Rosaline raised her trembling eyelids and faced him. The setting sun had dyed his cheek crimson.

“Juliet held my hand and said.”

“…What did she say?”

He asked in a barely noticeable tone. Rosaline wrapped both her hands around his hands which could possibly choke her neck in one swift motion. And with her cheek against the back of his hand, she whispered.

“I need you.”

Juliet’s plea ruthlessly dug into Rosaline’s vulnerability. It was like wine offered to a hungry person or rain given to someone who had only drunk seawater.

She caressed the back of Romeo’s hand with her thumb and murmured.

“We’ve been together all our lives. If I lose you, I’ll be engulfed in loneliness and die.”

Romeo gazed at her intensely. Meeting his gaze directly, Rosaline pressed her lips against the back of his hand and slowly caressed his chin.

The close distance between them seemed to blur the distinction of whose breath it was. Her hand, tracing a sharp jawline like a precipice, gradually moved upward, letting go of tension. Rosaline’s touch grazed his cheek, the corner of his eyes, and his eyebrows as she brushed aside his tousled blond hair.

“Don’t leave me.”

Her touch revealed a smooth forehead. The dying sun painted his forehead with a glow. She gently kissed that spot. Romeo, as if enduring something, clenched his teeth and closed his eyes.

Rosaline hugged his neck and leaned her cheek against the crown of his head. Just as Juliet had done with her.

“Please.”

Feeling his warm breath on her chest, Rosaline closed her eyes. Juliet’s small body and Romeo were so different. She tried to think of Juliet.

That dawn, everything changed.

Rather than resentment, it pained her to think that the lady’s delicate and soft feet were trampled because of her. Compassion outweighed jealousy.

Juliet was the only person who ever held onto Rosaline, and she willingly cherished her like a shining light. She decided to focus solely on the lady, without indulging in shallow curiosity or resentment.

If it wasn’t love that eradicated trivial feelings like jealousy and resentment, then what else could it be?

“Romeo, I love Juliet with deep affection and devotion.”

Whether you are a test sent by the gods or my own adversity, please, understand and acknowledge my feelings for Juliet. Even if it’s just a little, please try to comprehend them.

Please, don’t diminish my light.

Rosaline loosened her grip on his embraced arms and attempted to meet Romeo’s gaze. She wanted to know if he understood her.

But he closed his eyes and controlled himself to the point where his jawline tensed.

Rosaline desired an immediate response from him. She cautiously cradled his cheeks with her palms and gently brushed his eye corners with her thumbs.

In an instant, he opened his eyes as a beetle cried out loudly. Tears fell from his dark eyes, as though embers were smoldering within them, during the fleeting moment when the sunset disappeared. A line formed on his cheek following the path of the serene yet indifferent tears.

“If someone had desperately yearned for you…”

He spoke as she held his cheek in her hands.

“If I, too, had felt such an overwhelming yearning for the other person…”

Romeo’s voice was so soft and damp that it felt as though it resonated not through the ears, but through the heart.

“I would have put out a cigar in front of you while you were coughing.”

“…….”

“I wouldn’t have made you go alone, just to buy such cheap liquor.”

Either he had already set down the cup, or his hands loosely grasped Rosaline’s thigh. It was a gesture closer to clinging than embracing. Amidst the scenery transitioning into night, Romeo whispered.

“Never.”

Rosaline thought he was insulting her. As a result, her grip loosened at her fingertips, her breath became ragged, and her blood seemed to flow backward within her body, causing uneasiness. Instead of getting angry, it was difficult for her to even look at him.

Rosaline withdrew her hand from his grasp and turned her body to sit. As she pushed him away, it felt like the magical moment had ended, and the intense tension subsided. But her entire body still felt flushed and tingling, and her chest felt like it would burst.

In order to calm herself, she gazed into the distance. Whenever the sunset burned a deep red and the night was left lonely.

“I…”

She barely managed to part her dry lips and speak.

“I’ve done what I could, and there’s nothing more I can tell you.”

Rosaline packaged her generosity as if saying that the main point was just this, brushing off the insult from earlier. From beside her, she heard him sigh deeply. After a brief silence, he spoke.

“Yes, now I understand.”

Romeo’s gaze also met the empty space alongside her.

“Rosaline, your heart is no different from what I already know.”

In other words, her heart was filled with unanswered dedication and longing.

Unable to resist, she let out a sound like she was under some kind of spell. The best course of action was simply to remain silent, in order to avoid delving deeper. Gazing into the endless darkness, she suddenly realized.

If Juliet was the light to Rosaline, then Romeo was another light. He was the one who had kept the reality I had turned away from in the shadows, and now he had lifted it up and shown it to me. If that wasn’t light, then what was?

But that light was intense rather than warm, harsh rather than gentle.

She was grateful for the night that concealed her endless tears.

Rosaline, for the first time in a long while, hoped that morning would never come.

She feared the light.