She should go see Juliet. She had to go attend to her morning anyway, but perhaps because the dream was disturbing, the thought of going to see her Miss gripped her head like an obsession.

The moment she decided, Rosaline quickly got up and prepared. She washed her face with cold water and wiped her body with cloth soaked in oil. She put on an old-fashioned, worn vestment reaching her neck, tied a belt around her waist, and neatly tied her long hair in one.

She finally picked up the wine bottle and anticipated meeting Juliet. She would greet her Miss who would be moving busily from morning and casually bring up the dream story. Then Juliet would laugh heartily saying it was nonsense. Rosaline would watch her beautiful smile and deeply press down last night.

But this expectation was shattered by Juliet’s answer.

“Ah, did we do that?”

It was the response when Rosaline went to the study, prepared Juliet’s morning meal, and brought up the dream story. Rosaline blankly stared at Juliet’s cheek as she was busy looking at documents.

“When you were fifteen, don’t you remember, Miss? We went together often and drank. That’s why you only look for this wine……”

“Ah… right. We did. It’s been almost ten years, so I was forgetting. I just thought it tasted good since you brought it often.”

Juliet flipped through the file and chuckled. Only then did Rosaline feel embarrassed for bringing up something useless to the busy Miss. Tears even flowed, so she pretended to organize small things on the shelf while waiting for them to stop.

Ah, what foolishness is this?

“Rosaline.”

Juliet called Rosaline as if troubled. Even more embarrassed, Rosaline wiped her eyes with her forearm pretending to wipe dust from her face and turned around. However, because of her swollen cheek and undried tears, Juliet’s expression crumpled with worry.

When Rosaline actually faced Juliet worrying about her, she felt sorry yet also relieved. Was that why? Somehow today, she didn’t want to defend her mother or hide her wounds. She wanted Juliet to know her condition.

Like Romeo had.

Rosaline was surprised by her own thoughts, then the sound of Juliet tapping the desk was heard.

“Come here, sit here.”

When Rosaline obediently sat across from her, Juliet sighed deeply again. Unable to meet her eyes somehow and only looking at the desk, she saw parchment with Kata’s emblem among the piled documents.

From the central diocese?

Why does Juliet have that……

“Rosaline, a while ago the nanny cried saying she was worried about you.”

“…Yes?”

Rosaline took her eyes off the documents and looked at Juliet. What did she just say? Unable to immediately process Miss’s words, she only blinked when Juliet smiled warmly.

“She said she’s sorry that you could live better in a better place, but because of her, you’re neither here nor there, just doing servant work.”

Rosaline belatedly understood Juliet’s words and subsequently lost the will to respond. Mother cried for me? She’s sorry I’m doing servant work? No, mother never cried for her, and said to consider working for Capulet an honor.

She should explain somehow, but she couldn’t dare deny her mother aloud. Even trained dogs bark when cornered, but Rosaline just had trembling hands and a constricted throat.

Making what she’d barely held back meaningless, tears wouldn’t stop as if someone was heating the back of her eyes. Juliet seemed to have mistaken that Rosaline was crying, moved by her mother’s feelings.

“She became stricter out of guilt. She said even when she doesn’t want to scold, she gets upset and angry.”

So?

“So, I spoke to the central diocese again. I asked them to use their influence so you can go to the best monastery and become a priest at the grand temple.”

“Did mother tell you to do that?”

Rosaline unknowingly raised her head and asked in a surprisingly clear voice. Juliet, who didn’t think she would get angry, took Rosaline’s tear-stained face as a kind of joy.

“Yes. She said yesterday while crying that she was asking for your sake. When I asked Father Laurence too, he said it would be better for you to go.”

Has Miss been so busy lately that she forgot the promise to be together forever? That dawn when you held me back, I took out my heart and left it for you. Though insignificant, I gave you my soul.

“You know, Rosaline. I lost my mother early. Father is always blunt too. Plus I’m an only child. I didn’t know what affection between parent and child was, or sisterly love, but thanks to you and the nanny, I came to know better than anyone.”

“No, it’s not like that. Miss.”

When she answered in a barely audible voice, Juliet reached out and stroked Rosaline’s forearm. She seemed to think it was just something said for no reason as usual.

“I realized I can’t keep you by my side out of my selfishness. Looking back, I always only thought of myself. Without even asking your opinion, I assumed you liked being at Capulet.”

Juliet smiled brightly like a child who finished reflecting, with a face resembling mature affection. Her eyes were also moistly wet like Rosaline’s. With infinite kindness, with a face one couldn’t dare be angry at.

She couldn’t breathe.

“So I’ll let you go, Rosaline.”

Where exactly did it go wrong? Was it wrong to lie saying I’m fine when I’m not, afraid Miss would worry, saying mother must love me deep down, lying to both Juliet and myself?

Mother’s words are all lies, Juliet. Actually I don’t even want to become a priest, I wanted to stay here with you. You know, I’m as lonely as I love you. Even though I’m by your side, I feel alone.

However, she couldn’t rashly spill the truth. Because she didn’t know why she wanted to leave this place, why she was lonely despite loving her, why she felt alone despite being by her side.

Romeo’s voice suddenly flashed through her mind.

“You look at your master like a loyal dog, but well. That master seems to regard you as one of dozens of dogs.”

He saw through the truth she’d been clumsily hiding. Ah, so cruelly too.

“You say you’re close friends or affectionate sisters, yet you fret over losing one cigar?”

“Rosaline.”

Between Romeo’s voice like tinnitus, Miss’s clear call was heard. Juliet was looking at her full of worry. Doubting her own decision, reading the mood of a lowly, insignificant servant. Juliet’s hand cupped Rosaline’s cheek.

“It’s okay, right?”

Rosaline didn’t want to let Miss doubt herself and read her mood. She smiled palely.

“Yes, Miss. I’m happy.”

She thought if she didn’t lie, no one would love her, and she lied using resignation as a shield like now. Perhaps this situation was the inevitable ending of the shepherd boy.

“I’m glad, Rosaline.”

Juliet smiled back dazzlingly. Though she was so suffocated, sad enough to hurt her chest, ridiculously she didn’t think of running away like when she was young. But if she didn’t calm the crucible of emotions violently churning within her well-forged patience, she felt she’d really strangle herself.

Rosaline naturally thought of the place where her old friend stayed.

That place where a god stands alone like her.

* * *

Late at night, the temple on days without mass was quiet. The reason temples close to the city center weren’t large and imposing was because people had long made small and large altars in their homes to worship gods individually.

In a place without even a candle, in a corridor where only moonlight entered, Rosaline knelt and clasped her hands, praying endlessly. After staying in the same posture for hours, a presence was heard in the darkness.

The owner who broke the silence where even the sound of insects didn’t emerge approached her with large steps. Rosaline spoke without turning around, without inflection. Fragile as if she’d break if grasped.

“Please leave me for now, Romeo.”

Actually, today was also a day she should meet Romeo. But she didn’t have confidence to face him fully right now.

“Please.”

As always, Romeo approached ignoring her words. Though Rosaline kept her head down with eyes closed, she could tell he approached and knelt beside her. Perhaps tilting his head to examine her, warm breath touched her cheek.

“Rosaline.”

Gently urging but with a slightly angry tone, Romeo, who exhaled an impatient breath, grasped and turned her chin so she could see him. Even so, when Rosaline didn’t open her eyes, he asked in a low voice as if blaming her stubbornness.

“What happened?”

“What happened?”

Slowly repeating his words, Rosaline opened her eyes. Her olivine-like pupils spilled tears with resentment. Rosaline drew a smile completely different from what she’d shown Juliet. It was close to mockery toward no one knew who.

“You were right.”

She whispered without removing her chin from his grasp.