Chapter 3 – Part 4

‘How long will it take, I wonder?’

He was calculating the time. Not for anything serious—he was thinking about Mail. After showing her something so incredible today and then departing, she likely wouldn’t return to the garden for a while. The emperor guessed as much.

No matter how thick-skinned someone might be, after creating such an embarrassing scene, it was unlikely they’d return to that place anytime soon.

And that was somewhat disappointing to Rohayden. Recently, no one had amused him as much as she did.

Banther thought the emperor had been laughing like someone who had just watched a jester, but in truth, Mail was funnier than any jester. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d laughed so hard he nearly fell backward, completely forgetting his dignity.

‘Maybe four days… a week at most.’

After such an extraordinary performance, most people would probably vow never to show their face near the place again. But Mail wasn’t ordinary.

Given her particular affection for the garden, he estimated that she’d recover in about that time. Then, he could casually encounter her there once more.

‘I’m looking forward to it.’

Rohayden’s lips curved into a smile—a visibly clear, joyful one. Noticing this, the woman across from him froze and stopped moving.

‘He smiled.’

In the middle of a meal. Without any conversation. The woman was neither stupid nor oblivious. She quickly realized that the emperor wasn’t smiling because he was pleased with their time together. His attention was elsewhere.

‘The selection hasn’t even begun yet…’

She lowered her head to hide her hardened expression, biting her lip quietly. Anxiety began to gnaw at her. What, exactly, was occupying the emperor’s mind? He was sitting right across from her, yet his thoughts were elsewhere.

“…Your Majesty.”

“Hmm?”

“I would like to go out soon.”

“Go out? You mean, outside the palace?”

“Yes.”

“I see, it must be stifling to stay in the palace all the time. Do as you wish. However, you must take the guards I assign to you.”

His voice carried a tone of concern, which made her feel somewhat relieved. The emperor had been watching over her safety, protecting her consistently for the past three years.

Some had criticized it as excessive overprotection, but to her, it was a source of great joy. She believed that his protective nature stemmed from his love for her, treating her like something fragile and precious, as if she were a glass that could shatter at any moment.

She believed this protection was proof of his affection, even though he had never once embraced her like a lover.

‘It’s fine. Things will stay as they are. Just as they always have.’

Yet, the anxiety that had started whispering in her ear refused to fade.

She decided to leave the palace to meet someone.

* * *

Two days passed.

Mail had spent that time mentally exhausted but physically at ease.

Her head was filled with all kinds of negative thoughts about the future, but she had nothing to do.

The empire had kept the candidates for the empress selection waiting under the pretense of “preparation.” The waiting period would end tomorrow, the deadline for registration.

Mail absentmindedly nibbled on a dessert from the table as she reflected on the past two days. The most memorable event was Rose’s strength training.

Complaining that her body felt stiff from skipping training lately, Rose had rushed over when she saw a maid struggling to carry a jar almost as big as herself and effortlessly took it from her hands.

Though she claimed she was helping, Mail could tell. She was using it as an excuse to train.

If she was just helping to carry it, why would she lift the jar while moving her arms up and down? And with a jar in each hand, no less.

Mail had clapped when she saw that. Such strength in a person. She was a different kind of superhuman than Ormil.

‘It was impressive. Yes. And what else happened?’

Mail racked her brain.

Nothing.

The only thing Mail had done over the past two days was watch Rose train her biceps.

Now that she thought about it, it wasn’t that it had been the most intense experience; it was simply the only thing that had happened, so it was the only memory that came to mind. She paused with a cookie halfway to her mouth, breaking into a cold sweat.

‘Is this really okay?’

Shouldn’t a hero be doing something more impressive? Of course, if we’re pointing fingers, the Empire’s negligence was largely to blame for leaving everyone in limbo like this. But still, she was supposed to be a hero—a hero who saved the nation.

Shouldn’t she be doing something more productive, something more worthy than just breathing in and out?

‘…The garden!’

Suddenly, Mail shot up, an idea striking her. The garden was always the answer in times like these. When one’s heart was unsettled, the only remedy was to take in the sacred air of the garden and seek counsel from the plants. That was the only thing that could save a garden lover.

Having made up her mind, Mail quickly donned her coat. She did so without any assistance, with remarkable skill. She was ready in an instant.

‘Let’s go. The garden is calling me!’

The hero’s grandeur vanished, replaced by the determination of a garden fanatic. Mail strode forward with the vigor of a commander.

Had her old etiquette teacher, who oversaw her childhood education, witnessed this scene, they would have foamed at the mouth and fainted from shock.

After walking like this for about five minutes, Mail came to a halt.

‘W-wait a second.’

In her mental turmoil over becoming a lazy hero and her desire to soothe that pain in the garden’s embrace, she had momentarily forgotten something important. The garden she had been heading to wasn’t just any garden.

It was *that* garden.

The very place where, just two days ago, she had lost her dignity as a human being.

The place where, not just as a lady but as a person, she had thrown away something precious.

A place like that.

‘Ugh…’

Agony washed over her. Mail realized the gravity of her mistake. Rolling forward on the ground? Well, that could happen. People do rolls and tumbles now and then in life.

The issue was that she had done it in the garden. She should have relocated, even if it meant adding extra steps.

Had she done that, she wouldn’t be standing here, agonizing over whether she could even set foot in the garden again.

‘What should I do?’

Her internal conflict was intense. As a garden lover, she thought it would be better to die than live without seeing the garden. But as a normal human being, her remaining shred of dignity urged her to protect what little pride she had left.

‘Just go! Have you ever seen a garden more beautiful than that one? You’ve already grown attached to it—think about the marigolds and velvets!’

‘Can marigolds and velvets protect your pride? If you go and run into that masked man, you’ll likely die of embarrassment.’

‘Die of embarrassment?’

‘Yes!’

‘Nonsense. A beautiful garden purifies all negativity—even a person’s shame!’

“…!”

The conflict was over. Mail’s mind cleared.

She had found enlightenment in her nature’s argument.

‘How could I have harbored such a disrespectful doubt?’

If she distanced herself from the garden out of shame for what she had done there, that would be ignoring the garden’s power.

Mail felt as if she had achieved a kind of spiritual awakening. The garden’s sanctity was supreme, capable of wiping away any impure feelings with just a single rustle of its leaves.

‘Garden, forgive me for my pointless worries.’

In the process of this inner turmoil, Mail’s devotion to the garden deepened. She walked forward with a new sense of reverence, her face now completely serene.

‘What’s the harm in a little embarrassment or awkwardness?’

The moment she stepped into the garden, all of it would become irrelevant.

Having realized this truth, Mail no longer hesitated. She swiftly took the familiar shortcut and entered *that* garden with complete ease, as if she were walking into her own home.

For the first time in two days, Mail visited the garden and took in its scenery. She felt refreshed.

TL NOTE: More advanced chapter of this story is already up to the site. Visit dusk blossoms for more advanced chapters and stories